Writers Block
by gusenitsa
Summary: Killian Jones has a way with words. Or he used to... but after the accident things weren't the same. When he fires his editor the publishing company sends him someone new to determine if his career can be salvaged or if he's a lost cause..."No one uses the word malfeasance! Damn it Killian, are you drunk again?"
1. Chapter 1

**I don't do AU's ... so now I'm going to do an AU. Experimenting, and trying not to die of boredom waiting for OUAT to come back (Come back to me, OUAT)**

* * *

"No one uses the word malfeasance! Damn it Killian, are you drunk again?"

Killian threw his glass at the wall, it shattered, a few precious drops of amber glittering amongst the splintering glass. "Not nearly drunk enough, and it's my job to tell you who uses the word malfeasance. If you could write, you'd write your own books."

"And you're doing such a wonderful job yourself? You're derivative Killian, at best, At worst it's downright thievery!"

"You're fired, get out of my apartment," Killian seethed.

"No one tells me what to do. You work for me Killian, and you are fired. I can't count on a one handed pirate with a drinking problem to produce anything worth publishing."

To be honest Killian had almost smiled at the turn of phrase, appreciating the insult in a way that only an author really could. If he could be called an author anymore? He'd not written anything of substance in years now. Not since _her_.

"Get out," Killian repeated. The door slammed shut behind his ex-editor and Killian went in search of another glass, a task that was getting more and more difficult as more of them ended up in a broken pile in the corner. Finally finding one in a more or less whole state he poured another glass of his chosen poison, swallowing it in several long pulls that burned him up in a pleasant numbing fire.

At first he'd blamed it on the accident. It wasn't really an accident, of course. It was a drunk driver, or so they thought. The driver had fled the scene, leaving his handiwork in a smoldering wreck of smoking metal. Bloody coward.

The damage was done, the least of which being that his left hand had been crushed beyond repair. What the hell good was a writer with a missing hand who could think of nothing but her, nothing but her, all day and all night. He stopped sleeping when he finally grew tired of replaying it in his mind every night. If he drank enough sometimes he would pass out. _Does that count as sleep?_ Regardless, it helped for a little while.

It had been years now since that night, and sometimes he could even sleep now, though he still dreamed of it far too often for his sleep to be considered quite... restful.

Eventually, he'd started to write again but apparently he had nothing to say now. He'd never been a famous author, but had a substantial fan base when the accident happened. He wrote adventure novels, mysteries and tales of love and pain and redemption. Now all he could write was full of anger and hatred and darkness and nothing _ever_ ended happily ever after. _Apparently you have to be Shakespeare to get away with 'and then everybody died, the end.'_

His hands shook. Well... only the one of course, but even now he could still feel his left hand, long since gone_._

"Hatred is blind, rage carries you away; and he who pours out vengeance runs the risk of tasting a bitter draught." _Damn you Dumas, if I'd only been born a couple hundred years earlier I could have written an Edmond Dantes to make yours look like Prince __bloody_ Charming. _But alas, you were born first and therefore it is I who is derivative. _

Who was he kidding. It was derivative. Pirate captain rescues a damsel in distress from her cruel husband who then hunts down the escaped lovers on the high seas. Bloody hell. Since when did he write romance novels? Still, most romance novels don't involve the female lead being murdered in front of her lovers eyes, the pirate captain challenging the murderer to a duel and then dying in the accomplishment of his vengeance.

Seemed like a good idea at the time...

He threw the sheaf of his editors notes into the fireplace, dumped a splash of his rum on the top and lit it, grinning as the papers burned to a crisp. It was a symbolic gesture of course, he had the thing saved on his computer... but he'd probably delete that too once he was sober again. (He'd learned the hard way not to delete things drunk.)

* * *

"MISS. SWAN!" a commanding voice called from behind a closed door. Like it would kill her to send someone out to get her, or use the phone. Emma sighed and put down the manuscript and her favorite red pen. She'd rather burn the current manuscript she was editing but apparently that wasn't allowed. She pushed the door open and made her way into Regina's office.

"Miss Swan," Regina said without looking up, "You have a new assignment."

_About time,_ Emma thought but all she said was "Good, shall I have someone take up my current project?"

"Don't worry about it," Regina said flippantly, "no one will notice if the romance novels don't get edited anyway. I just put you on them because I love being able to see you glaring venomously down at your desk all the time."

Emma smiled half-heartedly, but wasn't entirely convinced that Regina was joking at all. "Anyway, Killian Jones has gone off the deep end again. We need someone to keep him from having a breakdown and get us something new from him. We have a big market for his novels but he's not produced anything in years. If he can't be salvaged we need to know so we can cut ties with him."

"I thought he had an editor?" That was the nicest way she could think of to ask what the hell happened to the obnoxious jerk that was always moaning and complaining about his client in the break room (as if anyone else wanted to hear.)

"They fired each other, I'm thinking a pretty face might help smooth things over."

Emma flushed slightly, "Isn't he married?"

"Nope, and his girl kicked the bucket ages ago, not that I see how that is relevant."

Emma bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying what she thought of this rather heartless evaluation. Regina Mills was good at getting things done... but there's a reason she was not in PR. Still, Emma knew she had a soft side. Her son Henry was a sweet boy who sometimes dropped by the office after school. He usually hung out in Emma's cubicle until Regina got off and Regina was different around the kid.

"Fine," Emma said, "When is he coming in?"

Regina laughed "Killian Jones! Come here? No Miss. Swan, you'll be lucky if you can get him to open the door."

Emma raised her eyebrows and Regina's head finally snapped up, "What are you still doing here?"

"It would help to have an address."

"Oh just google it, that's your job."

* * *

It was a little more complicated than 'just google it' and Emma grumbled under her breath that Regina couldn't be bothered to just give it to her... but fortunately Emma was very good at finding people. She also found an uncomfortable number of arrest records for public intoxication and bar fights all dated within the last couple years. Regina was right, the guy was self destructing.

Regardless, about an hour later Emma found herself outside an apartment door in a fairly nice apartment building. She knocked loudly and waited, listening for noises from inside.

After a moment she knocked again calling, "Killian Jones, I know you're in there, let me in." She heard scuffling then a telltale creak and she raised an eyebrow. On instinct she bolted back down the stairs and around the building just in time to see someone making their way down the fire escape one handed.

"Jones, what the hell are you doing?" she cried as he hopped down to the street level and turned to her. With a shock she realized he was climbing one handed out of necessity. The stump was hidden under the sleeve of a button down dress shirt and she quickly tore her eyes from it. Looking at his face wasn't much better. His eyebrows shot up over deep blue eyes and she cursed internally, _Why did he have to be attractive? _She'd never bothered looking at the book jackets before...

"Ah," He said suddenly, relaxing as he looked her over, "I thought you were someone else. I don't think I've had the pleasure..."

"Regina sent me."

"Interesting, Care to come inside?"

"Do I have to take the fire escape?"

"No no, course not, lass. We'll take the stairs like civilized people."

"My name is not lass."

"What is your name then, love?"

Emma rolled her eyes "Who did you think I was anyway?"

Killian shrugged, "Sometimes I forget not to give them my real address If I'm too drunk to think clearly... but you... I think I'd remember you."

They reached the landing for his apartment and he opened the door for her.

She rolled her eyes again, "You made me chase you out a back window and now you're going to be a gentleman?"

"I'm always a gentleman, love."

"So ... you had something of an artistic difference with your previous editor?" Her eyes flicked over to the broken glass still on the floor next to the wall. The apartment smelled like smoke and rum, and Emma found herself wondering if that was due to the fight with his editor or if it was a constant state.

"You could say that," Killian commented bitterly, "but you're here to make that all better?"

"I'm here to determine if we need to cut our losses," she said bluntly.

Killian smiled , "Tough lass, you'd make a hell of an editor."

"That's still not my name Jones. And I am a hell of an editor. Do you think you can get me something to look at so Regina doesn't smite both our asses?"

Killian watched her contemplatively for a moment. "If this is going to work I'm going to need something from you."

"What's that?" Emma asked suspiciously.

"Your name love, unless you'd prefer I keep calling you love?"

"It's Swan."

"Swan... That's interesting. Is there a last name to go along with that?"

"That is my last name. You can call me Miss. Swan."

Killian grinned. "Very well, Swan, give me a couple of days and then I'll meet you for dinner so we can talk?"

"Not likely Jones, Just email something to me."

"Email is so ... cold. How about lunch?"

"Not going to happen."

"Coffee?"

Emma sighed, coffee was definitely her weakness. "Fine, Coffee, but you better not be wasting my time."

"I wouldn't dare. You'll have to give me your cell phone number so that we can arrange things, of course."

Emma handed him a card, "That's my work number, you can reach me there."

"Swan, don't you trust me, love? I'll not call you drunk in the middle of the night more than once or twice a week. I swear it."

Emma smiled slightly and shook her head, taking the offered pen and grudgingly writing down her personal cell number. "For emergencies only, Jones, I mean it."

"Of course, love."

* * *

**I don't read a lot of AU's and this is my first time writing one, so I may be writing a cliche without even knowing it. :P Let me know what you guys think about the premise...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for sticking with me while I experiment with AU's. It's actually a lot of fun, I see why people enjoy them! Without further ado: Part 2.**

**Recap:**

* * *

"Email is so ... cold. How about lunch?"

"Not going to happen."

"Coffee?"

Emma sighed. Coffee was definitely her weakness. "Fine, Coffee, but you better not be wasting my time."

"I wouldn't dare. You'll have to give me your cell phone number so that we can arrange things, of course."

Emma handed him a card, "That's my work number, you can reach me there."

"Swan, don't you trust me, love? I'll not call you drunk in the middle of the night more than once or twice a week. I swear it."

Emma smiled slightly and shook her head, taking the offered pen and grudgingly writing down her personal cell number. "For emergencies only, Jones, I mean it."

"Of course, love."

* * *

_KJ (11:26AM): I swear it's an emergency, love._

Emma glanced up at her phone then sighed in exasperation. It was probably a really bad idea too have given Killian Jones her phone number. What was wrong with the office line? If it was in emergency he should be calling 911 not texting her personal cell. She dropped the phone back on the desk and went back to her reading.

_KJ (11:37AM): Swan?_

Maybe he'd give up if she just ignored him. It's not like he didn't have the publishers office number if he really needed to contact them for something work related.

_KJ (12:25PM): Is this number real? 'I seek a beautiful girl, My other half, my one coquette — the answer to my love's duet.'_

Emma finally laughed, Ok, that was funny. Enchanted was one of those guilty pleasures no one could ever know she enjoyed. But still...who wouldn't like seeing fairy tale characters dropped in the middle of New York.

___KJ (12:28PM): Oh come on, Enchanted!? Really, nothing? Tough crowd. _

_____KJ (1:24PM): Well..._I_f this is the wrong number I'll guess I'll just have to start texting one digit variants on the number. Is that a 3 ... or maybe it's a 5. _

Emma clenched her teeth before finally texting him back:

_Swan (1:25PM): You better be dying, Jones._

_KJ (1:27PM): Only from anticipation, or that could possibly be the hangover... Regardless, you did agree to breakfast sometime in the foreseeable future. How about tomorrow morning at my place?_

_Swan (1:27PM): I agreed to coffee. How about tomorrow morning in a safe neutral location. lol. _Emma shook her head and deleted the lol before sending the text.

_KJ (1:30PM): __ There's a little bar a couple blocks north, the rabbit hole. I could take you there for drinks tonight instead? _You don't think I would hurt you, Swan? Truly love, when you're only trying to save my career? Emma could practically hear the smirk in his voice and that accent. Why did he have to have that accent?

_Swan (1:31PM): Or...there's a coffee shop on the corner just south of you, do you know it? __I'm just trying to do my job. If that happens to coincide with getting you published again so be it. _

_KJ (1:34PM): Try something new, darling, it's called trust. This will go a lot smoother if you do._

_Swan (1:34PM): Things will go a lot smoother if I don't have to block your number._

_KJ (1:35PM): They say writers work best under adversity, Swan. You've a knack for your job._

_Swan (1:39PM): Speaking of which... Aren't you supposed to be writing?_

_KJ (1:43PM): I'm researching. That's the most important part of writing, love._

_Swan (1:44PM): What are you researching?_

_KJ (1:44PM): Pirate ships._

_Swan (1:44PM): Sounds very important._

_KJ (1:45PM): Aye._

_Swan (1:45PM): Don't do that._

_KJ (1:51PM): Or what? Will you make me dance the hempen jig, love? Or there are other ... more pleasant ways to utilize rope. I've been working on some interesting knots, want to try a few out with me? _

___KJ (1:54PM): _My safety word is Whiffle. No one can ever remember it though... so that works out well. I warn you in advance, saying waffle will not avail you. 

_Swan (2:01PM): I'm going back to work Jones._

_KJ (2:02PM): Aren't I your work... technically?_

Emma put her phone on silent and got back to the horrific manuscript she had been editing. Something jumping on the vampire romance bandwagon that was making her rather ill. Putting it aside she picked up one of the books she had found on her desk that morning. The collected works of Killian Jones which Regina had sent her for... research purposes. Couldn't be worse than the vampire romances, right? She figured she should probably read something of his pre hiatus work. Instead though she found herself on her laptop. Turns out Killian Jones has a wikipedia page. She immediately realized that hiatus was not exactly the right word for it... Before she could get any farther she came across a rather interesting line in his wikipedia entry.

**Killian Jones was involved in a car accident in late 2008 which cost him his left hand and**

The rest of the biography section had been deleted and replaced with **Bad form, Swan.**

She chuckled lightly. This guy was certainly an arrogant piece of work...Still, it didn't seem right, reading about his life like it was some Entertainment Weekly special report, but...it was research right? Emma knew the wikipedia entry would probably be fixed in a few minutes but she closed the window anyway. Instead she picked up the book on the top of the stack and flipped it open.

Hours later she finally managed to pull herself away from her desk long enough to drive home and get some dinner, but immediately afterward she found her place and dove in again. She was interrupted about halfway through by the chirp of her phone, reminding her she'd never finalized plans for the morning.

_KJ (9:02PM): 9AM Swan?_

_Swan (9:15PM): 9AM Jones, see you then. Better have something for me to look at._

_KJ (9:17PM): Bloody slave driver._

_Swan (9:18PM): That's my job._

He was good. He used to be anyway... He had a way of describing places so they felt like a fond memory of a place she used to know. By the time she turned the last page sometime around 2AM, the characters were all old friends. If this is how he writes...why has it been so many years since he's been published?

* * *

Her alarm went off at 8:15am and Emma groggily roused herself. It had been a late night, but she found that she was excited about their breakfast. Or coffee, whatever. She wanted to read what he was working on, more than she had for any other manuscript she'd been assigned to before. When she arrived at the coffee shop she had to make 3 loops around the block to ensure that she wasn't too early before finally parking. When she glanced down at her phone she saw a new message.

_________________KJ (8:47AM)_: Why are you hovering Swan, I swear I don't bite.

_____________________Swan (8:56AM)_: Just looking for parking, be there soon.

___________________KJ (8:57AM):_ Do you often drive past open parking spaces looking for the perfect spot?

_______________________Swan (8:57AM)_: Do not test me before I've had my coffee, Jones.

When she arrived, Killian was lazily reclined in a chair by the window.

"I wasn't sure you'd show up." Killian commented as the door closed behind her, standing to lead her to the counter where a tall brunette was waiting.

"I wasn't either, until last night."

"Dreaming of me, darling?"

Emma gaped at him but before she could speak the barista interrupted. "Hey there Killian, what can I get you?"

"You know what I like, Ruby."

"Oh, yes, indeed I do. But I was asking about the drink."

Killian smiled at her but shook his head. "I know a good thing when I taste it love, I'll stick with the usual."

Ruby shrugged good naturally before turning to Emma "He's been coming here for years...I keep thinking I can convince him to try something new, hasn't worked yet! What can I get for you?"

"Do you have hot chocolate?"

"Of course! One of my favorites too. You look like an extra whipped cream kind of girl?"

"I'd love that, with just a dash of cinnamon."

"Yup! My kind of girl. Great, I'll have that right up for you. Is this together or separate?"

"Together-" Killian said just as Emma insisted

"Separate!"

Killian had already handed the girl his credit card though and she swiped it. "Sorry, I'm contractually obligated to side with the regulars in any payment disagreements!"

"Thanks, Ruby," Killian told her as she disappeared into the kitchen.

"I'm not sure if I should thank you or yell at you," Emma said.

"Go with both, that does seem to be your style."

Emma resisted the urge to punch his shoulder, probably not particularly professional. "So was it just me...or was that... a little awkward?"

Killian grinned, "I've known Ruby for a long time...she, well...she insists that if a girl is the jealous or self-conscious type they'll drive me crazy in the long run. So she sees fit to flirt with me and ask awkward questions whenever I come in with a lass."

"Oh so this is your usual place for screening ladies?" Emma asked.

"Nah, this is my usual place for determining if I call them back afterwards."

"That's disgusting," she retorted. "So are you telling me I was just vetted by the waitress?"

"You picked the place! Besides...if it makes you feel better darling, you passed with flying colors. You wouldn't believe how badly that's gone before."

"Really?"

"Indeed, came here with a girl once for lunch and Ruby said she looked like a cheeseburger and fries kind of girl. She burst into tears and I spent the next half an hour trying to calm her down. Did not call that one back, that's certain."

"Don't let him fool you," Ruby interrupted, pushing through the doors from the kitchen with two mugs, "He's exaggerating. He's really a big softie."

"Ruby!" Killian scolded.

"What? I like her, I'm not going to let you scare this one off too." Ruby handed a mug to Emma who took it gratefully.

"In my defense you usually do most of the scaring, love" Ruby smiled innocently but somehow it looked downright predatory.

"Thanks Ruby, but this is work." Emma broke in, trying to redirect the conversation.

Ruby moped a bit, before turning to Killian. "Did you ever call that girl I set you up with? The blonde, Tink."

"What kind of a name is Tink, anyway?"

"A cute one! So that's a no, then?"

"She threatened to cut off something very important to me if I crossed her! Really, Ruby?"

Ruby shrugged and turned back to the kitchen, "Someone's gotta keep you in line," she called over her shoulder. Killian flushed slightly and became suddenly fascinated with the contents of his mug.

"So..." Emma started awkwardly, "what's your usual?"

"Oh embarrassingly frilly I assure you, Ruby made it for me one time when I asked her for something interesting with a hint of heat. Well, actually, at the time she was going through a ... phase ... and told me that she couldn't give me that until her grandmother left for the day. Anyway, now I get that every day. Some kind of spiced latte thing, haven't the slightest. As they settled back into the easy chairs, Killian handed her a short stack of papers and leaned back to wait.

"Most writers don't like to stick around while their drafts are being reviewed," she commented lightly.

"It seemed the fastest way to get you to have coffee with me," Killian replied easily.

Emma raised an eyebrow, "Neither of us is drinking coffee."

"Yes, love, that's the important point to pick up from that bit of dialogue."

Emma turned back to the pages in front of her. Killian had only brought a couple chapters for her to look over and it didn't take long to finish them. Finally she set the pages down and took a long sip of her drink.

"Do you want to burn it as badly as I do?" Killian finally asked only a rapid tapping of his forefinger against his mug indicating his nerves.

Emma laughed, "Of course not...It's just..." She took another sip of cocoa and Killian raised an eyebrow.

"You'll not hurt my feelings lass, I'm fairly certain you couldn't possibly dislike it more than I dislike it myself."

Emma shook her head. "I don't dislike it but... Killian, I read one of your books last night, from before-"

"Fast reader."

"It was engrossing. I wanted to live there, I wanted to meet those people. There's nothing wrong with what you just gave me it's a bit... flat. It's like you don't care about what happens to them anymore."

Killian considered her words for a moment then sighed. "Perhaps you're right. I don't care. You must understand Swan, I already know how it ends."

Emma looked up at him in confusion. "Don't you always... I mean, you're writing it."

Killian smiled, "Characters are stubborn things, Swan, they're not as easily controlled as you think they are. But now... I know."

"How does it end?"

"It's not about how it ends, love. It's about the fact that there's no other way. Getting attached is ... It's a waste of time." He shrugged, "I've no need for that kind of torment in my life."

"Are we still talking about the book?" she asked carefully.

Killian's eyes narrowed and flicked to her. "You did look me up, didn't you?"

"Yes."

His entire body stiffened and to Emma's surprise he looked like he was barely containing his temper.

"What? Why was it some kind of big secret? You're missing a hand Killian, people are bound to notice!"

"That's what you think... that I am trying to be subtle about my hand?" He rubbed his left wrist agitatedly where a brace held a stiff false hand in place.

"Well you seemed not to want me to read any more on the subject last night. I took the hint but...who edits their own wikipedia page, Jones?"

He laughed and relaxed, "In all seriousness Swan, If this is going to work, I'll need you to promise me something."

"What's that?" Emma asked suspiciously.

"Don't look up the accident again. It was a car accident, it took my hand. I'm sick of people who know the details as well as I do."

Emma nodded, "So how do you want to do this, I know your previous editor said you were nearly done?"

"My previous editor was an idiot. I have pages written. It's nowhere near done. Right now I'd happily burn the thing."

"So... maybe it needs a fresh set of eyes. I can look at it for the standards... but also overall structuring. Maybe you have everything you need but it's just not organized properly yet?"

Eventually they fell into a rhythm, talking about scene staging and tweaking forced dialogue. It was better but it still wasn't right and they both knew it. Regardless, Emma was pleased. She suddenly wondered why Regina was so concerned about this guy. He didn't look like someone about to crack to her.

* * *

**AN: I love reviews. They make me smile. I love reviews even better if they make me smile, then screw up my eyebrows, go back and change something... and then smile again :) **

**What did you think of Ruby. I've never written her before. It's an AU, so I suppose I can write her however I want... but still, curious what you thought! Obviously, I feel like in an AU she and Killian would get along really well - like... they'd obnoxiously flirt with one another but in the end they'd just be like the best brotp. :P**


	3. Chapter 3

**__********I know! An update already. You spoiled people :P**

**_Recap:_**

"Don't look up the accident again. It was a car accident, it took my hand. I'm sick of people who know the details as well as I do."

Emma nodded, "So how do you want to do this, I know your previous editor said you were nearly done?"

"My previous editor was an idiot. I have pages written. It's nowhere near done. Right now I'd happily burn the thing."

"So... maybe it needs a fresh set of eyes. I can look at it for the standards... but also overall structuring. Maybe you have everything you need but it's just not organized properly yet?"

Eventually they fell into a rhythm, talking about scene staging and tweaking forced dialogue. It was better but it still wasn't right and they both knew it. Regardless, Emma was pleased. She suddenly wondered why Regina was so concerned about this guy. He didn't look like someone about to crack to her.

* * *

"He wants to restructure the entire novel? I thought he was almost done?"

"He's not happy with it, Regina. And frankly, he's right. It's got a lot of potential, but if you publish that book right now, from what I've seen ... It's going to be a highly anticipated flop."

Regina tapped her long nails against her desk in a highly obvious show of irritation. "And what part are you playing in this, Miss. Swan?"

"I'm not sure I follow...The same role I always do."

"Indeed? He's a bit of a reputation, are you quite certain he's not extending the process for your... benefit."

Emma flushed and bit back a sarcastic retort. "I've read the first few chapters, Regina. He's right. It needs work."

"Fine, but don't think I'm going to let you spend the whole work day flirting with Mr. Jones. Come here as normal and work on your other projects as well as anything he sends you. Any extra time you want to put into this little pet project of yours is on your own time."

Emma nodded and retreated from the office. When she returned to her desk there was a new message indicator flashing on the screen.

_KJ (4:37PM): It's an emergency._

_Swan (4:58PM): Are you dying this time?_

_KJ (4:58PM): Would you rush to my aid if I was?_

_Swan (5:04PM): Were* And no, I would start spending more time on that crap romance manuscript. A girl's got to eat you know, and dead men don't write fiction._

_KJ (5:15PM): Speaking of which, I'm in need of a sounding board love. Want to come over for dinner?_

_Swan (5:15PM): Nope._

_KJ (5:16PM): All right then. The pizza is getting cold anyway. You better get back to that romance novel._

Emma glanced at the text and back down at the romance novel. Pizza. Pizza sounded... She tried to focus on the manuscript again for a few minutes before finally throwing it down in exasperation.

_Swan (5:23PM): Be there soon._

* * *

"I was promised pizza," Emma said as soon as Killian opened the door.

"I am a man of my word lass, it's in the oven." Pulling out the pizza and plates Killian brought both into the living room and dropped them on his coffee table. Emma dug in ravenously and Killian laughed, "Do they not feed you there, Swan?"

Emma shrugged, "I forget to eat sometimes."

"I should have known, just here for the food, eh lass?"

"Why else would I be here?"

"Oh, love, I thought you'd never ask," he replied with a smirk.

Emma rolled her eyes and scanned the room quickly. "I like what you've done with the place. Less of the burning paper and broken glass aesthetic. It's nice."

Killian made a small mock bow before settling across from her in his own chair, "I've exquisite taste, wouldn't you say."

"No. I would say 'I like what you've done with the place.' Can we get to work?"

"I'm an artist darling, setting the wrong tone for the evening just ruins my creative instincts. Can I get you something to drink? Rum perhaps?"

"Rum? Really?"

"Never hurts, darling."

"Are you hitting on me, Jones?"

"Of course not, nothing so crude. I prefer the term courting."

"Of course you do," Emma muttered. "Here's an idea, how about we pretend for a moment that I'm an editor...here to edit your work? Sound good?"

"If you insist love, but I do wish we could have done with the pretenses." He grinned and handed her a sheaf of papers.

Emma perused the laid out pages with interest, skimming rapidly before going back to the beginning and reading more slowly. While she read Killian disappeared to the kitchen returning a few minutes later with a steaming mug.

"Hot chocolate, with cinnamon," he said to her inquiring look.

"You expect me to drink something that a stranger just offered me?"

"I do, actually, because we're not strangers, Swan. Do you really think I'd invite you here just to slip something in your drink. That would be bad form indeed."

"Bad form? That's what you're going with?" Killian nodded and Emma hesitantly took the mug. Tempted by the aroma of chocolate and cinnamon.

"Ah, just one moment," pulling out his flask Killian raised it to his lips, pulling off the top and pouring a splash into her drink. "It's not slipping something in your drink if I discard subtlety."

Emma smiled and rolled her eyes putting down the papers to wrap both hands around the mug. "I don't get it."

"Anything in particular?" he asked over his shoulder as he moved over to the bar.

"This guy, the husband, he doesn't make any sense... he's under developed."

"He's the villain, they usually are."

"That's a terrible excuse!" She turned around on the couch to face him, standing in front of the bar, the flask raised over an empty glass. "You're the author!" she continued, "Why would you leave him so nebulous?"

"Some villains are nebulous. It's a part of their character on a deeper level then knowing their hair and eye color."

"It's not just about the lack of physical description. You tell us that he's cruel and that this pirate captain 'rescued' his wife but I don't feel it. We don't see him, we don't know anything about him. How can you expect the reader to dislike him when you don't know anything about him? Besides ... Why would he even bother chasing after the woman who left him?"

"It's a matter of pride, Swan. He thinks of his wife as his property. Her leaving him was a blow to his self image."

"So what's he going to do when he finds her? Handcuff her and drag her home, beat up the pirate? How does any of that salvage his pride?" Killian finally poured his own glass, taking a swallow before he finally continued, voice guarded.

"We're not there yet, Swan."

"You told me that there was only one way for this to end. I don't see it. You said you know how this ends!" Emma stuck the end of her red pen between her lips biting down lightly in a habit that ensured no one would ever steal _her_ pens.

"I do." He paused for a moment, considering as he swirled the liquid in his glass. "Perhaps there was a child."

"What?"

"You asked me why our villain chases after the wife that left him behind. What if there was a child?"

"She left a child with her abusive husband? I'm not liking this woman so much anymore. Aren't we supposed to like her?"

"Her husband may have been abusive to her, but he loved his son. It's his blood, almost ... an extension of himself. She escaped, knowing that her child would be cared for."

Emma considered for a moment. It still rubbed her the wrong way, a mother abandoning her child to run off with a pirate, but it really wasn't her job to determine if she agreed with the decision. Just determine if it would break internal consistency. Finally she nodded.

"So ... the husband wants to convince her to come back to her son?"

"No..." Killian leaned back in his chair, eyes distant. "He's motivated by fear and rage. He wants vengeance for the child she left behind."

"Vengeance is a good motivation for an antihero," Emma replied clinically.

Killian smiled darkly, "Indeed it is."

Glancing back down she made a few marks, adjusting the grammar of the phrases. Finally she put it down to take a sip of her drink.

"This is good Jones...the chapter I mean. Not the cocoa. I mean that's good too…"

Killian smiled halfheartedly, "you say that now, darling."

"You know I'd be able to make much more helpful comments if I knew where this was going. Why do you keep showing this to me piecemeal if you already know how it ends?"

"I don't think you could handle how it ends just yet."

Emma stiffened. "Really, you think I couldn't handle it?"

"Indeed. Your job does involve handling a disturbing number of romance novels. Are you ready for an ending that isn't happily ever after?"

Emma fidgeted with her necklace, "I'm not some Disney princess, Jones. I know things don't always turn out the way you expect."

This got Killian's attention and he watched her carefully for a moment. "What was his name?"

Emma scoffed, "which one," she said dismissively. "I still think you need to fill in the blanks. Your villain needs developing. "

"I disagree. A nebulous foe is far more fearsome than one you can see ... and fight. You didn't answer my question."

"It's getting late, I should get going." Emma said.

"Why are you afraid of me?"

Emma laughed.

"No? You are afraid. To open up, to reveal yourself. Why?"

"I am not afraid of you." Emma said

"We'll start small then... tell me your name."

"You know my name. It's Swan."

"Most people have two."

"Why do you care?"

"Call it a quirk. I'm an author, I like names."

Finally Emma stopped trying to pack up her bag and glanced up at Killian. "It's Emma."

"Emma. Lovely... do you know what it means, Emma?"

"It doesn't mean anything. It's just a name."

"Originally from the German root of the word for whole... complete. That's quite nice don't you think?"

She laughed bitterly and Killian raised an eyebrow as she stood. "Just who are you Swan?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Perhaps I would."

She cocked her head to one side, as if that would somehow give her a better idea of what he meant. Finally she just opened the door, "See you tomorrow, Jones."

"I've kept you quite late Emma, text me when you arrive home, if you would. So I know to abort the dashing rescue scene."

When she arrived home she grudgingly pulled out her phone.

_Swan (11:43PM): Uneventful drive, except for the dragon._

_KJ (11:44PM): Pesky dragons, I do hope there was a prince nearby to rescue you._

_Swan (11:44PM): No one rescues me but me, Jones_

_KJ (11:44PM): Poor dragon, You know they're an endangered species right?_

_Swan (11:52PM): Night, Jones._

_KJ (11:55PM): Sleep well, Swan._

* * *

"MISS. SWAN!"

Emma sighed in exasperation, stifling the urge to yell back. Instead she simply made her way over to Regina's office.

"So Miss. Swan, What's the diagnosis? Is he going to crack again?"

"I'm not a therapist, Regina, all I know is that he's revising and I've edited a few chapters already."

"Let me give you a bit of advice, dear. Don't get too attached to this project. You don't want to be around when he implodes."

"What do you mean?"

"That was the nice way of me telling you that you are behind on your other projects."

Emma clenched her fists in frustration, "I thought-"

"Well you were wrong weren't you?" Regina retorted, before Emma could even finish.

Emma was seething as she left Regina's office. She had been putting all of her energy into editing the material Killian sent her, and now Regina tells her she's behind on the romances? Apparently it was going to be a late night. Several hours later when she was many times more frustrated, her phone buzzed. Grateful for the interruption she reached for it eagerly.

_KJ (6:56PM): It's an emergency. _Emma rolled her eyes.

_Swan (6:56PM): No, it's not._

_KJ (6:56PM): How do you know?_

_Swan (6:57PM): Because it's never an emergency._

_KJ (6:57PM): Not true, my muse is late for her appointment._

_Swan (6:59PM): Got held up, Regina still wants me reading this crap manuscript in case you go off the deep end. Planning on going off the deep end, Jones?_

_KJ (6:59PM): How very thoughtful of her._

_Swan (7:15PM): There better be alcohol._

_KJ (7:19PM): Of course...Also, I'm sending you the scenes for tonight. Best sit down first._

As promised her computer chimed with a new email. She opened the attachment and began to read. When she finally reached the end of the chapter she was perfectly aware that her fists were clenched and her mouth was hanging slightly open. Fumbling for her phone she pulled it out and pulled up her messaging account.

_Swan (7:46PM): I'm going to kill you._

* * *

**Uh oh, what did you do Killian? **

**Ruby was a hit, I'm so glad. She'll be back, I promise. ****Sorry for the Regina lovers. I like Regina too, but she just fits so well into an overbearing boss roll :P lol. She's just the perfect getting things done and rockin the pantsuit kind of boss lady! **


	4. Chapter 4

**_Recap:_**

_Swan (7:46PM): I'm going to kill you._

* * *

_KJ (7:46PM): Dead men don't write fiction, Emma, remember?_

_Swan (7:48PM): More the better._

Emma opened up the document again and copied and pasted a few lines from the text.

___Swan (7:50PM): _"Esma gasped in surprise. The ink black ocean was a stunningly beautiful sight, but she barely saw it, for as soon as the Captain came on deck the rest of the world faded into nothingness. Wind-swept obsidian locks chased each other across the harsh lines of his face and azure eyes bright as sapphires inspected her in the moonlight. He wasn't what she was expecting in a pirate captain. Not at all. Silhouetted against the endless expanse of the majestic sea, she couldn't help but be flustered by the toned topography of his perfectly sculpted pectorals. She bit her lip, gently nipping at her temptingly full pink lips as she examined her captor. Her golden locks cascaded over her shoulders in waves that mirrored the irresistible allure of the sea in his soul. Occasionally, an uncannily perfect tendril caught in the breeze and glamorously whisked to shadow her emerald eyes..."___ And it just gets worse______… for 3 pages. ____ Really? _ 3 PAGES JONES! 

Emma laughed in spite of herself as she sent the text. It really did go on like that for three pages. Three ridiculous pages of 'alabaster skin' and 'his commanding presence' and 'when I stab you with my sword you'll feel it..." God as if she didn't read enough of this crap during the day.

_____KJ (7:51PM) : Didn't you like it, love? That Esma seems like a fiery lass, does she not?_

_________________Swan (7:52PM): Why didn't you just make them have sex on the deck and have done with it? Would have been done a lot faster._

_________________________________________KJ (7:52PM): Oh, my poor darling! Whoever taught you that should walk the bloody plank. He's a gentleman, besides. No sex on the deck until at least the third day of captivity. Even pirates have standards. _

_Swan (7:54PM): You know two pages in you dropped the pretense and started writing Emma, right?_

_KJ (7:54PM): Oops, did I now? And I thought I was being so subtle. _

___________________________________Swan (7:54PM): I'm not sure you know what that word means._

_______________________KJ (7:55PM): _You're laughing love, I can hear it from here. And thus I have succeeded in my quest! 

___________Swan (7:56PM):_ Yes, I'm laughing, but that's not the point. The point is you're not taking this seriously. Are you going to send me the real thing or not. 

___________KJ (7:59PM): _I'm not sure it's ready, love.

_________________Swan (7:59PM): You afraid of a little red pen, Jones?_

___________________KJ (8:19PM): All right Swan, you win. _  


Her mailbox chimed again. She opened it up, swearing to herself if she saw the word alabaster one more time she would quit her job and leave the country. Fortunately when she opened the document the Captain she knew was back with the crew she loved and his strong willed lady at his side...and there was no alabaster or sculpted pectorals in sight.

* * *

Killian handed her a hot cocoa as she entered his apartment but Emma just glared and slammed the door behind her. "Is this another joke?"

"I take it you finished the next chapter," Killian commented with a raised eyebrow, "did it seem like a joke to you?"

Emma started heading for the couch then turned venomously on Killian. "That doesn't make any sense Killian, she is such a strong character, you can't kill her off like that."

"It does happen from time to time in literature."

"That's not what I meant. It's ... It's anticlimactic!"

"This woman, she was so much more … She was strong, a pirate queen in her own right. And then her husband just shows up and shoots her? It's absurd, can't you at least give her an epic sword fight! Make it mean something... Accomplish something!"

"I don't write fairy tales, Swan, and I warned you some time ago this was no romance. Sometimes there's no epic sword fight. It's not the epic moment people expect." He shrugged and settled on the couch watching her pace.

"And sometimes it's just cheap drama!" She shot back. "Do you even care abou- I mean, people get attached to these characters, Jones... if you don't treat them with the respect-"

"SWAN!," His voice rose abruptly and he slammed his mug into the table, the dark cocoa sloshing across the surface. "Damn it Swan, it's my bloody novel. Let it go."

For a moment Emma didn't respond, she was so surprised. They'd argued about bits of description, dialogue use, even major plot points before... but he'd always taken her suggestions in stride. Even if he didn't always agree with her... he'd never yelled like that.

"I think I should go," she said, gathering up the papers she had started to unpack.

"Swan, I'm-"

"No ... no, you're absolutely right. This is your book, your career, I just got a little caught up in it I guess." She rose and made for the door, Killian a step behind. "I'll email you any grammatical alterations ... send me the next draft when you have it." She reached for the handle of the door, but he laid his left arm against it as he turned to face her.

"Swan stop, please?"

She was a moment away from asking him what the hell he was doing when she noticed his left wrist, usually hidden by the cuff of his dress shirt was now clearly visible. His words came back to her abruptly and she stilled. _Sometimes it's anticlimactic, _he'd said.

"Jones-"

"Killian. It's Killian, love."

"Tell me? Why didn't you want me to look up the accident?" Killian dropped his arm, but this time Emma made no move to leave. _His girl kicked the bucket years ago_, Regina's voice echoed in her head.

"It took more than your hand from you, didn't it?" She watched his face for any sign of denial or confusion but what she saw only confirmed her suspicions. "She was in the car wasn't she?"

"Quite perceptive, Miss. Swan," he said tersely, turning to stalk across the room. He threw a towel over to land on top of the stain left by his cocoa as he went in search of something stronger. He took a long gulp from his flask before finding a glass and turning back to her. "Would you like to tell me that you're sorry now? Walk on eggshells in case I break into pieces? That's why you're really here, isn't it, to monitor me for signs of cracking? I've news for you, darling." He held up his left arm for emphasis. "It's already done."

He turned his gaze to her, both mocking and anguished, "Come now Swan, tell me you're sorry, love. Let me see the pity in your eyes."

"I don't... I just-"

Killian laughed coldly, "Really Swan, you won't look at me with pity like everyone else? Even if I told you that it was worse. So much worse even than the report said."

Emma stiffened, but didn't say a word as Killian continued.

"Oh yes, darling. You couldn't handle a work of bloody fiction, wait until you hear this... The report said that death was immediate. Did you know that fatalities within the first half hour after a car wreck are all considered immediate. What difference does it make to them, a moment or 5 minutes or 10. She... Milah...she was in the passenger seat, hell if I remember seeing anything coming. There weren't any headlights, I'm sure of it..."

His eyes were fixed on his left wrist, fingers tracing the scars that were left behind. Emma wasn't entirely certain he would even notice if she simply got up and left the room. Still, she remained frozen to her spot, watching him.

"The frame buckled up, my hand got trapped in the crushed metal at the door, somehow." He pulled down his sleeve over the marks and leaned against the wall, the metal of his rings tapping rhythmically against the glass as he clenched and unclenched his fingers. "It didn't hurt, not yet anyway. I didn't even realize she was hurt at first. Until she turned towards me. Her window had blown in. Scraped her face all to hell... Just scraped her face … but it didn't look- " He took another gulp of his drink. "She told me she loved me." He laughed bitterly. "The doctor said if I hadn't fought so hard to free my hand they might've been able to save it. As if I gave a damn. I had to hold her. I had to, Swan."

He finally looked up, as though coming out of a dream and he clenched his remaining hand tightly around the half empty glass. "So sweetheart, sometimes it is… anti-bloody-climactic. Now, get the hell out of my apartment."

Emma sat in stunned silence for a long moment. Finally she gathered up the papers, pulling her red pen back out of her pocket. She sank back onto the couch and began to read. Eventually she glanced up at him. "The syntax here is a little awkward," she said pointing with her pen "might want to clarify it."

Killian cocked his head to one side in confusion and Emma gestured again with her pen. "Here, are you going to come look at it?" Killian moved closer and looked over her shoulder. She reached out and took his glass, finishing the drink and handing the empty glass back to him.

"Bad form, love."

"It's Emma."

"I know, love." They worked in silence for some time before finally Emma spoke.

"I am sorry. You said it like it was a bad thing - to be sorry?"

Killian sighed and leaned back tossing the empty glass an inch of two in the air and catching it with the light clink of metal on glass.

"Sometimes I don't know what's worse. That it happened, or how people change when they know it did."

Emma nodded, "That I do understand."

"I suppose you do," Killian replied. "Still, somehow I don't think you've ever been angry enough to kill. If I had a target love, if I knew his name…" He shook his head, banishing the thought. "You know my darkness now Swan, what's yours?"

Emma bit the cap of her pen, her gaze fixed on the papers she was pretending to read.

"The one who gave me this?" She asked, fingering the necklace carefully.

Killian nodded. "He must have meant a lot to you if you still have it after all this time."

She finally looked up at him, "How do you know he's not still around?" She asked, more curious than anything else.

"We've all got the same look in our eyes, love. The lost ones, when we've been alone for too long."

"His name was Neal, last I heard of him he was making for Canada. I don't keep it for sentimentality. I keep it as a reminder...Not to trust anyone."

"Sounds lonely," he said softly.

"I'm used to it."

"How many homes?"

"What?

"You know exactly what I mean. My brother took care of me for years. After... I was nearly old enough to be on my own. Only 3 before I was able to get out. You?"

"More. Then there were the group homes once they gave up on me being able to live with a 'stable' family. I was something of a problem child."

"No one deserves that, Emma."

"Yeah well, it made me strong. Can't ask for much more than that."

"Swan-"

"Can we just work?"

Killian nodded and let the glass fall lightly onto the table with a clink as he bent over the papers she was examining.

As the night wore on the words began to blur on the paper and she stretched out, "Sorry, Killian, I think I'm done for the night. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure. Goodnight Emma."

After Emma left Killian collapsed exhausted back onto the couch. It was too quiet again the moment she closed the door, he'd never really gotten used to the quiet.

What the bloody hell had gotten into him? He'd never told anyone that. Not even Ruby. Ruby knew everything else...Even called the station regularly on the off chance there had been some development in the case. He couldn't bear to make that call, to hear the resignation in their voices. But Ruby…she still checked every month like clockwork. Even she didn't know that Milah had survived the impact, only to slip away while they waited for the ambulance that wasn't coming. Brain edema the report said... Internal bleeding. There had been external bleeding too, but that hadn't been what killed her.

Why did I tell her that?

_Because you wanted someone to understand. You wanted her to understand._

He shook the thought away, banishing it with another swig from his flask. Why bother with glasses when there is no one to see. Pulling out his phone he saw she hadn't texted him yet. How far away did she live. 5 minutes? 15?

_KJ (10:43PM): Swan? Did you defeat the dragon?_

_KJ (11:24PM): Swan? I can't sleep...I'm sorry if I upset you, love. Just let me know you got home safe and I'll leave you be._

_Missed Call: Killian Jones 11:47 PM_

_KJ (12:13AM): Emma, please call me back. I know you're probably just asleep but...you're bloody lucky I don't know where you live right now. lol_

_Missed Call: Killian Jones 1:03 AM_

_Missed Call: Killian Jones 1:04 AM_

_KJ (1:23AM): Emma, please don't do this._

_KJ (1:23AM): Just call me as soon as you can. I don't care what time it is._

Killian would have thrown his phone in frustration if there was any other way to contact the Swan girl. He wasn't sure if he was desperately waiting for the phone to ring or dreading it. _"Hello, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but... we found your messages on the phone in Miss Swan's effects, thought you ought to know..."_

"Get ahold of yourself Jones," Killian muttered. She probably just fell asleep. Damn her, she knew what this would do to him. It had been only hours since he'd explained to her how a car wreck had taken Milah. How could she just forget and fall asleep without... Unless she _was_ hurt. He wasn't thrilled with the idea of facing this night sober and the half full bottle of rum was a glittering temptation on his bar... but a small voice in the back of his head warned him he might yet have to drive tonight.

Checking his phone unnecessarily to ensure it was not on silent he laid back on his bed staring at the ceiling. His heart was pounding and his muscles tensed and relaxed with the slightest provocation. Adrenaline. Adrenaline to give him the strength to fight off whatever threatened him. For all the good it had done then. For all the good it would do now. God... he was going to feel like such an idiot tomorrow when she texted him back._ Jones, what the hell was that? I fell asleep, it happens._

He didn't sleep but eventually he seemed to slip into a semi conscious doze for a few minutes at a time before bolting back upright and immediately checking his phone.

Enough. This is absurdity. She was a grown woman. Capable of taking care of herself. She didn't need some random client losing sleep over her... He draped his arm over his eyes to block out the light from the street ... _Sleep, Jones, _He told himself sternly, _ there's nothing else you can bloody well do._

* * *

**OK before anybody yells at me I just want you to remember that I've posted three chapters in as many days. Just saying. Thought you might prefer short but rapid updates. **

**Yes? **

**No? **

**Screw you, you jerk for sending Killian into a tizzy? **

**All of the above? **

**(Class has started I'm writing exam questions in my sleep …)**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hang in there guys :P_**

**_Recap:_**

He didn't sleep but eventually he seemed to slip into a semi conscious doze for a few minutes at a time before bolting back upright and immediately checking his phone.

Enough. This is absurdity. She is a grown woman. Capable of taking care of herself. She didn't need some random client losing sleep over her... He draped his arm over his eyes to block out the light from the street ... _Sleep, Jones, _He told himself sternly, _ there's nothing else you can bloody well do._

* * *

_"God, I'm going to need to learn to sign with my other hand if the publisher keeps having me do these signings every night." he mutters, trying to flex out his left hand as he drives. It's stiff and unresponsive, pricking with pins and needled like it's fallen asleep._

_"I suppose you'll just have to teach me to forge your signature then, love," Emma tells him. Killian glances over to smile at her but stops short. __When did she change her hair? There was something he was supposed to remember about this night. He tugs at the string around his finger. Did he forget something at the signing? Was he missing a radio interview...what was he forgetting?_

_"I think that's called fraud, actually," he tells her matter of factly._

_Emma laughed, twisting a jet black curl around her finger, grey eyes contemplative. "Only if we get caught. Besides... is it really fraud if you authorize it? I think not."_

_"And how exactly do you plan on hiding such an arrangement from my adoring fans, darling?" Killian asks seriously._

_Black hair, stunning grey eyes? Not Emma. Not Emma._

_"Oh easily enough. You call them darling and I sign the book while they are trying to rearrange their molecules from the puddle on the floor!"_

_"Don't tell me you're jealous, Milah!" he teases gently, "You're not the type. I assure you, signing books to 'my dearest Emma' is entirely exaggeration. Besides my fans are not entirely women! I should point out that the male constituency are always looking your way while they tell me how much they enjoy my writing."_

_"Now who is the jealous one? You better speed up Killian, you're late. He's catching up."_

_"We're not late," his eyes flick to the clock on his dash. It's blinking some nonsense, though. (I'll have to get that looked at next time I take the car in.) "Am I late?" he asks the clock. __She's late. She's late._

_(What am I forgetting?)_

_Killian turns his attention back to Milah, "I'm not jealous. You are coming home with me, remember! I was simply pointing out that someone would certainly notice you signing books for me."_

_"You can't do it alone, Killian."_

_"Well then I think I've found an acceptable solution. We've what... 5 months until the wedding?"_

_"Unless you have had a change of heart. Your dearest Emma looks like she'd happily be my stand in!"_

_"In 5 months time, You will legally be Mrs. Killian Jones. See where I'm going with this?"_

_Milah laughs, brushing her hair back out of her face again. (It is always in her face but she hates tying it back.) "Isn't this an absurdly complex way of getting a book signing assistant? Oh, look, he's here, love."_

_"There are other ... perks," Killian starts, but he would never hear her answer. The sound of metal on metal, screaming and scraping and blending with the squealing of tires and shattering glass ... His head snaps to the right as the world spins for an endlessly rapid moment and then abruptly stills. The stillness and the silence is so complete that for a moment, he can't help but wonder if he's gone deaf. He blinks several times to try to clear the spots from his eyes… when they finally clear he realizes abruptly that they are facing the wrong way on the road. A car accident. The source of the chaos was another car. They'd been hit? He flicks on the emergency lights and turns to Milah. Shards of glass sparkle in the blonde hair which cloaks her face._

_"Emma, love, are you all right?"_

_"I think so… are you? What happened?"_

_"Apparently, someone hit us. Do you have your phone?"_

_"I don't think so."_

_"Maybe the other driver will get help."_

_The street is illuminated only by the one headlight on the drivers side of the vehicle and despite Killian's suggestion, he rapidly realizes that they are alone. There is no other car. ____What if no one is coming? Where is the bloody phone... probably shattered somewhere in the back seat. Not _in his pocket...did he put it in the cupholder... is it in Milah's bag? He turns to ask her but stops abruptly. She is turned towards him now and he can see that the right side of her face... The window must have shattered. He curses under his breath as he reaches for her.

_"Milah...you're bleeding. Does anything else hurt?"_

_"What?" Milah asks in confusion._

_"Where else are you hurt?" he repeats insistantly trying to look her over for any major injuries. It's hard to tell in the dim light of the car, but aside from quite a number of scrapes and bruises- it didn't seem too bad._

_So why doesn't she answer? Killian tries to slide himself towards her, but he can't move. He pulls again and a painful jolt in his shoulder informs him that he is stuck. Finally dragging his eyes from Milah he glances to his left. __He tries to pull his hand free but his hand is clenched impossibly tightly around the hand rest. He tries to release his grip but his left hand ignores his commands, clenching stubbornly to the car door. There should have been pain, it should be excruciating. __Wasn't there pain?_

_When he turns back toward Milah she is leaning back in her seat, eyes open but glazed over._

_"Emma? EMMA! Can you hear me? Come on, beautiful, talk to me?"__  
_

_"I'm ... yes." she mutters slowly._

_"You're scaring me, love. Tell me what's wrong?"_

_"It's ok, Killian, it's going to be ok." her words slur though, as if she were intoxicated._

_"Milah, I need you to look at me, ok? Can you tell me where your phone is?"_

_"I don't have a phone."_

_"You do, love... Milah? Come on, open your eyes." She finally did so, turning slowly towards him._

_"I love you, Killian," she whispers._

_Killian pulls towards her, again impeded by his left hand. Jerking hard he hears a tearing sound as his shirt rips... at least... he desperately hopes it is his shirt. Still trapped. Still trapped... Unable to free himself, he simply reaches for Milah, cradling her head in one hand. "Milah, no - please-"_

_A buzzing sound rattled through the car like a hornet in his ear, and shooting pain lanced through his trapped hand and up his arm as he struggled ever harder to wrench himself free-_

Killian's eyes snapped open abruptly when a excruciating pain shot up from his left hand. Curling around onto his side he tried to clench his left hand with his right to quell the pain, only to be abruptly reminded that there was nothing to grab onto. Grasping his wrist instead he clenched it tightly, biting into his lip in an attempt to distract himself from a pain that should not be possible.

Gasping raggedly in the silent room he managed to pull himself up in the bed, right hand still clamped around his left wrist for all the good it would do.

Milah. He hadn't had that dream in months. Why now? He dropped his head onto his bent knees as he rode out the trembling that always followed. This time was different though

_Swan._

Within the dream somehow it had not concerned him in the slightest that Emma was slipping into his dreams of Milah. Suddenly he realized his phone was still buzzing next to him.

He lunged for the phone but agony shot up his left arm again. He lost his balance and the phone clattered to the floor next to the bed. When he retrieved it he saw that the missed call was not from her. An unknown number. His stomach clenched painfully.

_The police? The hospital?_

He was about to call back when the phone buzzed again, nearly startling him into dropping it again. He accepted the call and brought the phone to his ear. For a moment his mouth dropped open, he tried to speak but no words came.

"Killian?"

"Swan?"

"I'm sorry I'm calling so late, I just thought- I usually text you and... never mind. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have woken you."

"Oh thank God, Swan."

"What? Are you all right?"

"Where are you, this isn't your number?"

"Yeah... My phone is kind of in a couple pieces right now."

"What happened?"

"It's nothing. Just dropped it, no big deal. Anyway I just wanted to let you know I'm fine. While I've got you, though, I forgot to tell you earlier that I'm going to be out of town for a week or so. Anyway, this isn't my new phone, I'm borrowing it, so we'll just talk via email until I get back, ok?"

"Swan, what's going on... are you sure you're alright?"

"Fine, Killian. I have to go now. We'll talk soon." Before he could protest the line went dead.

Killian held the phone in his still shaking hand for a moment and then let it fall to the bed. He glanced at the time. Nearly 3AM. Sliding out of bed he made his way to his desk and flipped open his computer. Typing in the number to a search engine he dropped heavily into his desk chair when the result popped up.

Hospital.

Trauma ward.

* * *

Emma put the phone down and nodded a quick thank you to the nurse.

"Dr. Whale said I had to fill out a couple forms before he can finalize the discharge?"

"Sure, but... actually it says here that he's recommending you stay the night, just in case you have a concussion."

"Do I look like I have a concussion? It was just a little fender bender, a bit of whiplash."

"That's kind of the point, Miss. Swan, it can be hard to tell."

"Look, I considered his recommendation and concluded that I am fine. Please, I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed. I really don't like hospitals. Frankly I'm only here because if my boss doesn't get a call from Dr. Whale tomorrow I'll probably be out of a job."

The nurse nodded and handed Emma her discharge form. She took a taxi home, since the Doctor had also suggested she not drive for the rest of the night. When she finally shut her door behind her she could barely keep her eyes open for long enough to pull off her boots and collapse into the bed. She didn't bother setting an alarm, having already emailed Regina that she would be out of commission for a day or two.

It was nearly five in the evening by the time she woke again and stiffly sat up in bed. She was groggy from sleeping too long and sore as hell but everything else seemed fine. Getting tentatively out of bed she slipped over to the window, noting that the rental car she had requested had been delivered while she was asleep. She must not have heard the knock... Fortunately she had told them last night to just leave the key under her door if she wasn't home. Making her way to the bathroom she flipped on the light and gasped. Her left shoulder and the left side of her neck was bright red and purple. Pulling her shirt aside she saw it extended down her torso in a lovely illustration that she had, indeed been wearing her seatbelt.

Thank God she had already told Killian she was going out of town. After hearing his story last night, the last thing she wanted to do was tell him she'd been in a car accident. Like he needed anything to remind him of that.

When she had showered, changed, and taken some ibuprofen she began to feel human enough to check her email. She scanned through the emails from yesterday until she came across several from Killian.

_Killian Jones 1:07 AM : Swan, You didn't pick up your phone, just wanted to be sure you were alright._

_Killian Jones 1:28 AM : Please Swan... call me. I won't be sleeping. Even if I am, please wake me up. I need to know you're alright._

_Killian Jones 2:48 AM : Swan, bloody hell, lass, did you really think that I wouldn't notice you called me from the trauma ward? __I called the hospital. They won't tell me anything. Unless you want me to show up there I suggest you tell me not to. Where are you?_

_Killian Jones 4:07 AM : I went to the hospital. They wouldn't tell me where you are. Apparently, since I'm not family I've no right to know if you're safe. A nurse finally took pity on me and told me they'd released you. Bloody hell woman. You think I don't know why you wouldn't tell me?_

___Killian Jones 4:09 AM : _I'd like to think you'd be at the hospital if it was serious but I know you probably strong armed your way out of there. _Listen to me, you shouldn't be alone after a car accident. Stay with a friend. Better yet, come stay here. I'll be the perfect gentleman, I swear it. Just don't stay alone tonight._

_Regina Mills 7:35 AM : If this is just a way to get more sick days, you're fired, Miss. Swan._

_Regina Mills 9:07 AM : Dr. Whale just called. Told me of your incident last night and that you had asked him to call and confirm in the morning. I'm attaching the next chapter of your old project so you can work on it at home._

_Regina Mills 3:12 PM : Tried to call Mr. Jones today. You know, the one you said wasn't going to crack. He said...and I quote: "screw the bloody novel and screw you Mrs. Mills." Nice work, Miss. Swan. DEAL WITH IT._

_Regina Mills 5:24 PM : I'm sending my assistant to your house with a new phone. Answer the door and pick up the phone._

Right on schedule she heard a knock on her door. Emma opened it and a phone was shoved into her hand. A familiar MISS SWAN was screeching from the contraption as Regina's assistant turned tail without so much as a 'how are you.'

"Yes, I just received your emails."

"Was I unclear about your roll in this project?"

"No, I didn't realize-"

"I'm about one drunken phone call from cutting his contract into tiny pieces."

"No! Please don't do that. I can fix this. "

Regina sighed, "I will call you in 24 hours Miss. Swan, and if you can not put a SOBER Killian Jones on the phone to explain to me why I shouldn't burn his contract to a crisp it's over and you are back on romances, do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Thank you Miss. Swan... Oh ... and … um, How are you feeling?"

Emma almost laughed but she thought that would not be wise under the circumstances.

"Much better, thank you...Hello?"

Emma sighed and stuffed the phone in her pocket. On second thought... she pulled it out again and texted Killian

_Swan (5:43 PM): Jones?_

_Swan (5:48 PM):Where are you, Killian?_

_KJ (5:48 PM): The lost prinncesss sje lives!_

_Swan (5:45 PM): I'm fine. I told you I was fine last night, remember? I called? Tell me where you are, Killian._

_KJ (5:49 PM): Ypu lied to me swan_

_Swan (5:49 PM): I didn't lie to you... I just didn't want to worry you._

_KJ (5:54 PM): misssion blloody acomplished_

_Swan (5:59 PM): I'm coming to your place ok._

_KJ (6:00 PM): NOo you shouldnt b drivingg._

_Swan (6:03 PM): I'll be there soon._

_KJ (6:04 PM): Dont botjer not at home anyway_

Emma grabbed her rental car keys and made for the door, catching sight of herself in the mirror on the way out. The bruises showed bright at her neck and through her white shirt. Cursing under her breath she made for her bedroom again, picking out a black turtleneck shirt that would cover her shoulder and neck. There was another bruise on her cheek, but she couldn't do more than a dusting of powder for that. It wasn't as bad as the ones on her neck anyway.

She drove by his apartment and parked there first, pounding on his door until she was convinced he wasn't there. His car was out front though so he couldn't have gone far. What was in walking distance? The diner perhaps? Deciding it was faster to walk than to try to find parking she slipped her keys in her pocket and took off at a brisk walk toward the diner.

_Swan (6:18 PM): Killian? Are you at the coffee shop? _

She arrived a few minutes later and a quick glance around showed her that Killian was not among the patrons.

"EMMA! Oh, thank God!" Emma glanced over to the counter just as Ruby came rushing towards her. "Have you spoken to Killian?"

"I'm trying to find him. He's not responding to my texts, I guess he hasn't forgiven me just yet. "

"Forgiven you? What are you talking about?"

"Oh I was in a little fender bender last night. Didn't tell him about it, now he's pissed and we're probably both going to have to beg jobs from you this time tomorrow."

"I'm not sure pissed is the right word. Scared senseless might be a bit more accurate. Emma he's a little… sensitive on that subject."

"I know. He told me."

Ruby looked surprised. "Really?"

"Was it some kind of secret?"

"Not as such but he hates talking about it. He went by another name for a long time to prevent people from knowing that about it. He was here earlier today, completely wasted, wasn't even noon. He's probably still over at the Rabbit Hole."

"I'll find him," Emma sighed.

"Emma…He's an idiot sometimes, I know that better than anyone but…"Please, he's been through so much-" She paused, looking unsure if she should continue.

"I wasn't trying to hurt him, Ruby. That's why I didn't tell him in the first place."

"I know you weren't. I'm just not sure you understand… Look, Emma let me put it this way. Killian Jones has been in this shop every day since he managed to pull himself out of a perpetual drunken stupor all those years ago. He's ordered the same thing every single day since then until today. Today he wanted hot chocolate with cinnamon."

* * *

**Dream sequences are funny things. I wanted to make it realistic though. Not just a way to show you what happened but confusing and a bit disjointed. Actual dreams don't just work like flashbacks, right? They're a bit weird, and you never seem to realize how weird until later.**

******These fricken characters… they're going to kill me. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Yay, more Ruby. No I'm not using backstory to build the tension for when they find each other again. Why do you ask? :P **

* * *

**Recap:**

_"Emma…He's an idiot sometimes, I know that better than anyone but…"Please, he's been through so much-" She paused, looking unsure if she should continue._

_"I wasn't trying to hurt him, Ruby. That's why I didn't tell him in the first place."_

_"I know you weren't. I'm just not sure you understand… Look, Emma let me put it this way. Killian Jones has been in this shop every day since he managed to pull himself out of a perpetual drunken stupor all those years ago. He's ordered the same thing every single day since then until today. Today he wanted hot chocolate with cinnamon."_

* * *

After the accident Killian had practically lived at the Rabbit Hole. Anything to try to numb the ache that filled his chest constantly. It didn't make it better, not really, but he couldn't go home. There was too much of Milah left at home. Too many reminders that she as never coming back. He lived with a friend for nearly a week before he could bear to go back to that apartment. When he'd finally gone back he insisted on doing so alone. Bloody good thing too. He took one step inside the door, saw her jacket hanging on the coat stand and the façade he'd been holding onto for a week collapsed into dust.

For the months that followed he used a combination of alcohol and staying too busy to think to survive. It was there at the Rabbit hole that he met Ruby, taking a break from her overbearing Grandmother who ran the coffee shop down the street by tending bar at nights. From day one she had flirted shamelessly with him while preparing his drinks at a time when he was certainly in no mood for banter.

"Just another rum, lass."

"Sure, what's your name, sailor?" Ruby had asked him with a bright smile.

"Do I look like a sailor to you?"

"You talk like one. Besides... it's just a pet name. Would you prefer handsome? How about Hook?"

"Is that supposed to be funny?"

"Ladies love a good moniker, Hook. Tell them it's because you know how to hook 'em good? No? Fine then, what's your name?"

"What does it matter?"

"If you want me to stop calling you Hook you're going to have to give me a real name."

He finally dropped his head into his hand in frustration "Look, you're a lovely lass, truly, but I'm just not interested. Can you just leave me to get drunk in peace?"

She just smiled. "All right Hook, let me tell you a secret. You're gorgeous, sure enough. But as it turns out, I'm not interested in you either. Sometimes, it makes me feel better to pretend I am. You might try it sometime!"

He considered her words for a few minutes as she finished making the next round for a rowdy group by the end of the bar. Finally he stood to leave and Ruby called over to him. "See you tomorrow, Hook?" Apparently she was determined that the not so creative moniker stick.

"Don't know love, you working tomorrow?"

Ruby grinned, "Conveniently enough, I am!"

"Well then, beautiful, I'll see you tomorrow." So he began to build his facade.

Pretend you're ok until you are.

He snapped every once in a while. Got in more bar fights than his PR rep would have liked. He even changed his wardrobe. Black for Milah. Leather to give him a thicker skin, to keep everyone out. He flirted with every girl in the bar, got a reputation for being a player and yet somehow, always went home alone. His heart still belonged to a woman long gone, and he knew he'd never really be capable of letting her go.

Pretend you're ok until you are.

Hook spoke to everyone, Killian spoke to no one. Killian became Hook, because Hook could survive. The facade was safer… but he grew more and more disconnected from the world around him. Finally, one day as the bar was closing Ruby called to him before he could leave.

"Hook? There's a shipment in the back that's a little too much for me alone. Give me a hand before you go?"

"That supposed to be amusing, love?"

"No, actually," she said, locking the door behind the other patrons.

He raised an eyebrow, "If you wanted to get me alone you need only have asked."

"Door's locked, Killian. Show's over."

His lips twitched in a half-smile and Ruby led him to a back room where he helped her unload a large box from a shelf. When they brought it out she thanked him and began stocking the bar out of the box. "You can hang here for a while longer if you want," she told him, "I don't like the quiet at home either."

Killian shrugged and sat at the bar while Ruby worked. Finally she turned to face him. "My granny and I don't always get along, Killian, but I can talk to her if I need to. Who do you talk to?"

"You may not have noticed, love, but I'm quite the social butterfly after a drink or two."

Ruby rolled her eyes and Killian sighed. "I don't want to talk to anyone, Red, it's really none of their business."

"You're talking to me, now aren't you? Look, Killian, you seemed particularly… why don't you just save us both some time and tell me what happened today?"

"Nothing happened today," he retorted quickly.

Ruby's face was dubious but she turned back to her work. The silence grew thick between them and finally Killian couldn't stand it anymore. "Fine, you win. I called the station today."

Ruby glanced up, nodding for him to continue.

"There was paint from the drunk driver left on the car. It's been months… I thought maybe they'd found something, a match or - something."

"What did they say?"

"It took them forty bloody minutes to find the case files. Transferred me around a few times then…" he shook his head and Ruby put a glass down in front of him, pouring one last drink for the evening. Killian took it gratefully and continued. "They said it's unlikely to help them find the car. There's no record, even of custom paint colors, and it's probably been repainted by now." He laughed bitterly, "There's still hope, they told me, if the car is taken in as evidence in another case it's possible someone will notice the match."

"That's something, isn't it?" she said, coming around the bar to sit next to him.

"They couldn't even find the file at first, Red… no one is going to notice that match."

"Well we'll just have to make sure they keep looking."

"And how do you suggest we go about doing that?"

"Call them back. Every couple months… or every month even. Pester them relentlessly so if that car ever comes in, someone will remember."

Killian swallowed the rest of the drink and shook his head. "I can't."

"Can't?"

"I… God Ruby, sitting there listening to them try to find files, trying to remember … they didn't even bloody remember her! And once they found the file…. I can't do that again."

"Then I will."

Killian looked up in surprise, "What?"

"I'll call them," she clarified.

Killian stared at her in surprise, "You would do that?"

"Of course, what do you think, once a month? We want to pester them enough to keep it in their minds without them hanging up on us, right!"

Killian nodded dumbly.

"Once a month it is. For as long as it takes."

It was like a weight had been lifted. All day he'd been fighting an internal struggle. He knew he should keep asking but the idea of listening to them tell him that they'd no way of finding that car again tore him up inside. On impulse he leaned forward, kissing her experimentally before pulling back.

Ruby cocked her head to one side as he pulled away, "Got that out of your system now, Hook?"

He chuckled and shrugged, "You're…helping me… it seemed like a good idea at the moment."

"You don't have to thank me, Killian, and certainly not like that."

"Why are you? Helping me, I mean?"

"Because we're friends, Killian." Ruby grinned, "I know, it's quite the novel concept."

Killian looked confused, "So you're not doing this to-"

"Get into your pants?" Ruby teased, "You certainly are a modern man, now aren't you? No, Killian. We're friends, and I want to help you."

He smiled, "Thank you Ruby."

"There is something you can do for me though… while we're on the subject…"

Killian raised an eyebrow.

Ruby smiled and pointed to another box.

Ruby's time with the Rabbit hole had lasted a little over 6 months before she made up with her grandmother and went back to the coffee shop. When she left Killian found he missed talking to her each night. He flirted with girls left and right but they were a diversion. A distraction to keep his mind from stagnating. When he had time to think it went back. But none of them knew him, not like Ruby did. So he followed Ruby back to the coffee shop, trading in late drunken nights for early caffeine fueled mornings. Half-empty bottles of rum for some frilly latte' concoction that warmed the ice in his heart, however temporarily.

Ruby turned out to be one of the best friends he could hope to ask for. She called the station every month as promised, telling him only 'not yet' when the appointed day came around year after year long after when Killian could have stood hearing it.

They flirted when they needed to laugh. Killian kissed her again, once or twice on the unusual occasion when she needed some assistance convincing a particularly devoted pursuer that she really wasn't interested. She never told him why she wasn't interested in him, (and he wasn't _quite_ arrogant enough to ask) but it was a relief, to have a friend without them expecting anything more.

After Emma's call from the hospital, it was only a matter of time before he ended up at Granny's coffee shop. He went to the hospital first, of course, and argued with the staff until someone saw fit to tell him that she wasn't there anymore. Then he proceeded to decimate the alcohol in his apartment by mid morning (He didn't keep near enough alcohol in his apartment these days…)

He wasn't particularly steady on his feet by the time he pushed open the door of Granny's and he very nearly collapsed into the window seat. Ruby took one look at him and tossed her apron behind the counter before hurrying over.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I'm bloody drunk, thanks for noticing." Ruby pulled him up from his chair and half-dragged him to the break room in the back.

"Killian, what the hell? It's not even noon! I haven't seen you like this in... in a long time."

"Turns out alcohol really is the solutions to aaaaaalll life's little messes."

"What happened?" she asked sternly, watching him sway back and forth.

"Nothing," he huffed, "Alcohol is just the bloody tonic of the gods. You know me Ruby, one-handed pirate with a drinking problem." He laughed but Ruby pushed him down into a chair and leaned over in front of him.

"Don't you dare lie to me. HEY, look at me Killian. What. Happened?"

"She was in an accident," Killian murmured, still gazing out the door back into the cafe'.

Ruby pulled back, eyebrows furrowing at his answer. She quickly tried to remember todays date. Anniversaries had always been hard on him but... No, that wasn't it. "I know Killian, but... that was a long time ago. Why-"

"Not her... Her. Swan."

"Emma? Where is she? Do you need to get to the hospital?"

"She's gone."

Ruby paled and sank down into a chair, "Oh my God -"

"Not gone gone!" Killian corrected, finally turning from the door to look at her. "I went to the hospital, they let her go. I don't know where she is."

"But she's ok?"

Killian shrugged. "Not family, I don't get to know. They wouldn't let her go if it was bad? They wouldn't let her leave? Milah was fine too, you know. Brain swelling the doctor said. They seem fine for a while and then... then they're not. They would know if she wasn't, right Ruby?"

"If they let her go I'm sure she's fine, Killian. You didn't drive here did you?"

Killian shoved his chair back from the table with a loud abrasive scraping sound. "I don't drive drunk. Bloody hell, Ruby, you of all people -!"

"Sorry, I just- Killian, I have to get back on the clock. Stay here. I'll get you some coffee, ok. Your drink? Interesting with a hint of heat, right?"

Killian shook his head, "Hot chocolate and cinnamon."

Ruby nodded. "Ok, why don't you come sit in your spot by the door, I'll bring it over."

"Wanna keep an eye on me, love?"

"Frankly, yes."

He shrugged and let her lead him back to his usual spot. A few minutes later he was nursing a hot chocolate with cinnamon while Ruby looked on worriedly from behind the counter. Every once in a while she'd come over with a basket of muffins or banana bread or whatever food she thought she could convince him to eat. Most of it he picked at only slightly, but she looked so worried that he managed to eat some of it just to placate her.

The chocolate with cinnamon was warm and comforting, but as the numbness of the alcohol began to wear off he began to fidget and the nervous clenching in his stomach grew steadily worse. Finally he stood, but Ruby noticed immediately and hurried over.

"Heading home, Killian? How are you feeling?"

"Too sober. I'm not going home. It's too quiet at home. Goin' to the Rabbit Hole."

"I don't think-"

"Don't particularly care what you think, darlin'." Killian stood rapidly and walked to the door. Ruby followed him, taking his arm, but he shook her off briskly. He got halfway out the door before Ruby caught up with him again.

"Killian, be careful. Listen I'm stuck here for a while still. Stay there, get some food. Food, ok, no more rum. I'll come pick you up tonight, after my shift?"

Killian waved his hands dismissively as he headed down the street. Ruby hesitated for a moment but the sound of Granny calling from inside forced her to return to the shop.

* * *

The corner booth had been clean when he arrived, more or less, but his hand had grown less steady in pouring as the day wore on.

"Oy, what the hell is an empty bottle doing on my table," he cried as a waitress passed.

"I think you'd better find a ride home," she said carefully. "I think you've had enough."

"Who the bloody hell are you to tell me when I've had enough? I still remember... I've not had near enough." Her manager apparently disagreed though, and asked him if he would like to walk or have a taxi called. He'd enough alcohol in his system by that point that a right hook seemed a perfectly valid rebuttal. The security guys, however, responded in kind. Killian held his own surprisingly well considering he could barely stand up straight but finally one of them landed a solid blow to Killian's nose and the other shoved him forward face first onto the table twisting his arm behind his back.

"Stop! Hey, Let him go!" a familiar voice cried, trying to push between him and the security guy.

"Swan? I told you not to drive," Killian slurred confusedly.

"I'm sorry, guys, really. Look, I'll get him home, just let him go."

"He started another bar fight, lady, I'm pretty damn sick of his-"

"I know, you're right. But I just got out of the hospital. I might have a concussion and the Dr. said I shouldn't be alone. If he has to spend the night at the station I'll be all alone." Emma gave the man her best damsel in distress face and the guy sighed. "Fine I won't press charges, but get him out of my bar."

"Thank you." Emma said, grabbing Killian's arm and dragging him none-to-gently from the man's grip.

"Swan, you have a concussion?" he asked, stumbling to keep up with her gait as she pulled him from the bar. "Swan? You have a-"

"No," Emma said in an exasperated tone once they had put some distance between themselves and the bar. "I'm fine, I told you that." She released his arm and slackened her pace but he began to list toward the wall. She sighed and put one arm around his waist. "How much have you had to drink today, Killian?"

"Does your head hurt Swan?"

"No, yours will though. I heard you had a little chat with Regina this evening."

He laughed, "I don't think she liked it very much."

"That wasn't smart, Killian. She's just trying to keep you on track. You trash this novel and your contract goes with it… you do realize that right? Don't you want to publish this book?"

She should have known this was not the time to have a rational conversation with Killian about his career goals. He ignored her, instead continuing to drunkenly question her about possible post crash trauma all the way back to the apartment where she helped him collapse onto the couch.

"How about ringing in your ears?"

"No, Killian," she said over her shoulder as she went into his kitchen filling a large glass of water and bringing it out to him. "Here drink this."

"Nausea?" he asked as he sipped the water.

"Really? You're going to ask me about nausea? I'll call you in the morning and we will have a conversation about nausea."

"You lied to me," he said abruptly as she sat down next to him.

"Killian, look at me. I'm sorry, ok. I didn't realize that this would… I just didn't want to bring up any bad memories. Do you understand?"

"Bad memories? Bloody hell lass, you think this is about her?"

Emma shifted uncomfortably and he raised his hand lightly to her cheek, brushing his thumb over her failed attempt to conceal the bruise. With eyebrows furrowed he dropped his hand, pulling her turtleneck to the side to reveal the bright bruises along her neck.

"Oh God, Emma-"

Emma pushed his hand away and sighed. "You need to get to sleep, Killian."

Killian reached out as she moved to stand, grasping her wrist and pulling her back down onto the couch, he closed his arms around her in a tight hug and buried his face on the unbruised side of her neck. "Don't go?" he slurred into her ear pulling her tighter into his side.

"You're drunk, Killian."

He nodded into her shoulder then pulled her back to lean against the back of the couch with him. His head dropped onto her shoulder heavily and his breathing began to even out. When he sleepily whispered "Please? Don't go?" she realized there was no way she was going to be able to refuse. At least this way she knew he'd be around when Regina called tomorrow, right?

She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a soft snoring. "Fine Killian, I'll stay," she murmured.

* * *

**AN: Ok I suspect some of you may be irritated with me for going there with ruby and hook but I did. ****Hook (particularly in canon) grew used to manipulating people via flirtation and... physical means) And often, even in platonic friendships there is a point at which the relationship is kind of defined and both parties realize… yes… friends is good. That's what I was going for I think it's an interesting kind of scene that isn't very common in this kind of writing… so I went there :P**

**Also sorry, no long drawn out conversations while drunk. Doesn't usually work that way. :P So what do you think. Is Emma still there when he wakes up...?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Recap:**

"Bad memories? Bloody hell lass, you think this is about her?"

Emma shifted uncomfortably and he raised his hand lightly to her cheek, brushing his thumb over her failed attempt to conceal the bruise. With eyebrows furrowed he dropped his hand, pulling her turtleneck to the side to reveal the bright bruises along her neck.

"Oh God, Emma-"

Emma pushed his hand away and sighed. "You need to get to sleep, Killian."

Killian reached out as she moved to stand, grasping her wrist and pulling her back down onto the couch, he closed his arms around her in a tight hug and buried his face on the unbruised side of her neck. "Don't go?" he slurred into her ear pulling her tighter into his side.

"You're drunk, Killian."

He nodded into her shoulder then pulled her back to lean against the back of the couch with him. His head dropped onto her shoulder heavily and his breathing began to even out. When he sleepily whispered "Please? Don't go?" she realized there was no way she was going to be able to refuse. At least this way she knew he'd be around when Regina called tomorrow, right?

She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a soft snoring. "Fine Killian, I'll stay," she murmured.

* * *

She woke to a pounding on the door. Confusion set in rapidly and she tried to sit up. A difficult endeavor, it turned out with an unconscious Killian leaning heavily against her, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. _When did that happen?_ The pounding on his door sounded again. He gave a little grunt of displeasure but otherwise didn't so much as stir in his sleep. She wondered again exactly how much he'd had to drink as she wriggled her way out of his arms.

Glancing through the peephole was the plan but was rendered unnecessary when a voice called through the door.

"Dammit Jones, get your drunk ass off the floor and open up or I swear I'll break your door down!"

Emma grinned and opened the door, "Fine Ruby, no need to go all big bad wolf on us."

Ruby looked shocked for a moment before she smiled, "you found him?"

Emma nodded and pulled open the door so Ruby could come in. "He's out cold on the couch, want a drink?"

"As long as I don't have to make it," she said with a grin.

"Well the only thing I can make is hot chocolate, so..."

"Sounds perfect," Ruby replied, following Emma into the kitchen

"What time is it," Emma wondered out loud.

"Nearly midnight. I had a double shift today. He wasnt at the Rabbit Hole when I got off, or answering his phone so..."

"He was at the Rabbit Hole, just like you said," Emma started, she looked in a couple cabinets for mugs before Ruby walked over to open the correct cabinet.

"To be perfectly honest I'm more interested in the fact that you're here... with bed head," Ruby said with her eyebrows raised as she handed Emma the mugs.

Emma ran her fingers through her hair self-consciously. "He asked me to stay... I fell asleep on the couch. We've got a conference call in the morning and I need to make sure he is conscious and sober."

"Right." Ruby glanced over to where Killian was still asleep on the living room couch, "Fell asleep on the couch... you mean... that couch?"

Emma followed her gaze to where Killian lay and then glanced back at Ruby. "I thought... You and Killian... are you two-"

Ruby laughed, "Oh don't you worry, goldilocks, he is all yours."

"It's really not like that, he was just drunk and didn't want to be alone." She smiled half-heartedly, "I've been there."

"He's been alone for the better part of a decade now and he's been drunk a lot of that time. He never asks anyone to stay." Emma pulled the hot milk from the microwave and busied herself mixing in the cocoa before responding.

"Why do you keep telling me all this? I mean I know you're like his ultimate wingman but I'm his editor. He's a client. It's just not ... like that," she shrugged handing Ruby her cocoa and taking a sip herself.

Ruby nodded and sat back in her chair watching Emma for a moment while she considered her answer. "He's been through a lot. I just don't want him to get hurt again, that's all."

Emma's jaw tensed, "It's not my job to fix him! I can't even..." Emma clamped her mouth shut and Ruby tensed up too.

"I'm not asking you to fix him," Ruby interrupted tersely. "I'm just asking you to be careful. Don't break his heart again."

"I'm not asking your permission to date Killian Jones." Emma snapped, "I'm just editing his bloody novel." Ruby smiled at Emma's slip of the tongue and Emma flushed scarlet, "Look Ruby, I appreciate your concern but this is a professional relationship. I'm going to get him published, and I'm going to go back to my life. Understand?"

Ruby smiled again and Emma seriously considered upending her cocoa onto the infuriating woman's beautiful red jacket. "You can call me Red. Everyone else does."

Emma was thrown off by the abrupt change of subject and simply nodded and went back to her cocoa.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, Emma, I'm just... a little protective of Killian. We've known each other a long time. You know how it is... do you have any siblings?"

"No, not really." Ruby looked confused and Emma sighed, "I mean... I didn't grow up with any siblings."

"Ah," Ruby replied, "I didn't either. But at some point we all kind of choose our own family right? You make a really good cocoa, by the way." Ruby stood to rinse out her mug. She washed it out, pulled a towel out of the second drawer down and returned it neatly to the correct cabinet.

Emma felt absurdly out of place again as Ruby made her way easily around the kitchen. "If you want to stay and keep an eye on him, I can just head home?" Emma asked awkwardly.

"No, no. Can you imagine how confused Killian would be if you transformed into me overnight. Very disconcerting," she teased, "I should go, I open again in the morning. I swear I got better treatment at the Rabbit Hole. Come see me some time, at the diner?" Emma nodded slightly and Ruby slipped back out into the hallway, the door shutting with a heavy thud behind her. Emma locked the door before turning to finish cleaning up in the kitchen.

"Now what?" she muttered to herself when she finished, leaning against the entryway to the kitchen looking out toward where Killian had hardly moved an inch on the couch. She certainly shouldn't - didn't want to, rather- join him on the couch again. Nor did she particularly want to sleep on the floor. Perhaps she should just borrow his keys and come back in the morning before he woke?

* * *

"Bloody hell-" Killian muttered raising his hand to his head without opening his eyes. He couldn't be sure what hurt worse, the pounding in his head, or the daggers that were once more shooting up his left arm. A stinging burning in his missing hand quickly made the decision for him and his right hand shot from his temple to grasp his wrist, massaging it vigorously.

_Why the hell am I on the couch? Why the hell am I even here, how did I get home?_

He glanced at the table in front of him. A half-full glass of water stood next to a can of ginger ale and fuzzy memories started to make their way to the surface. _Swan, she found me. Bloody hell... she found me drunk._

Groaning he pulled himself to a sitting position, halting before he stood to let the room stop spinning. When it stabilized he opened the can of ginger ale and took a few sips. Finally managing to raise himself from the couch, he released his wrist and used his right hand to steady himself against the wall, making for the bathroom in his bedroom where he, hopefully, had not run out of ibuprofen. Half-blinded by the pain in his head and hand he stumbled into the bathroom, managed to take some pain meds and leaned against the wall for a minute or two. Eventually he managed to brush his teeth and wash up, moving slowly and occasionally letting out a hiss of pain from either the headache or a shot of agony up his arm. This was a particularly good morning. Hangover and phantom limb pain. Because one wasn't enough.

When the nausea subsided enough that he didn't feel the need to be in the bathroom, he made his way back into the bedroom to collapse onto his bed and sleep until at least Thursday. When he reached his bed however his muddled brain made an important realization. It was occupied. He blinked a couple of times at the mound under the blankets, his muddled mind trying to piece together the prior evening through a fog. He moved to the other side of the bed and his jaw dropped when he saw that burrowed beneath his blankets, in his bed, was Emma Swan.

_I asked her to stay,_ he remembered groggily. _I was a drunk idiot. God... what else did I do? Certainly if I done anything too foolish I'd have the bruises to show for it. _His hand flew to his nose. She turned over in her sleep, unburying herself enough that he could see she was still wearing her clothes from yesterday and her hair stuck up in all directions. A moment later she blinked blearily up at him, sleepily adorable for about half a second before her eyes widened and she shot upright.

"Sorry. I mean... Good morning? I just- "

"You stayed?" Killian interrupted, still rubbing unconscious circles on his wrist, the burning partially forgotten now.

"Yeah well ... didn't want you to disappear on me. How are you feeling?"

"Like someone punched me in the nose." She stretched out with a yawn and Killian made no attempt to hide his gaze of appreciation, which earned him only rolled eyes and a glare.

"Someone did. Just so you know, I don't think you're going to be welcome in the Rabbit Hole for a while."

"Oh..." he chuckled, touching the bruise gingerly, "so they did. They didn't happen to hit me in the head with a blunt object as well, did they?"

"Not after I got there...So how about chocolate chip pancakes and bacon for breakfast?" Emma teased and Killian turned a bit green. "Or we could go water and saltines."

"I think that might be the wiser of the options presented. Though to be perfectly honest I was mostly planning on losing consciousness again for a few hours."

"Well you can have your bed back," Emma said, but she didn't move and a light red began to creep into her cheeks. "Umm-" she glanced over next to the bed and Killian followed her gaze. In a pile next to the wall were her boots and a neatly folded pair of jeans. Apparently she had planned on being up before he discovered her.

He raised his eyebrows, "Oh dear, Miss. Swan, aren't you the forward lass?"

Emma threw a pillow at his head. "Turn around Jones, or next time it will be the lamp."

Killian obediently turned around, not moving from his spot next to the bed facing her jeans. He could practically feel the heat from her glare on the back of his neck.

"Jones."

"Yes, Emma?"

"My jeans?"

"Ah. I feared it might be too forward of me to touch them myself, you sure you don't want to come over here and get them?"

"JONES" she said loudly, practically yelling and Killian winced, the sound pounding through his already aching temple. "Give. Me. My. Jeans."

Killian sighed and bent to pick them up, tossing them behind him and hearing her shift around under the blankets. She mumbled something unintelligible and finally he heard her throw the covers off. "I swear, Jones, if you turn around I will kill you."

"I'm insulted, love, that you distrust me so."

"And stop trying to catch my reflection in the mirror."

Killian grinned and dropped his gaze from the mirror. It wasn't the right angle anyway. After a moment she said, "all right, you can turn around."

Instead he just stepped backwards, dropping back onto the bed and laying with one forearm over his eyes. He slid his arm away slightly to glance sideways at her. She was still half-laying on the other side of the bed, watching him with her eyebrows raised. He sighed, "it's my bed lass, don't give me that look."

"What look?"

"The aren't-you-supposed-to-be-a-gentleman look. My head hurts too much for that look. Also hurts too much for me to make any kind of half-decent attempt at seducing you, if that makes you feel better."

"It's your own fault."

"Consider my past self most thoroughly chastised," he clenched his teeth as another jolt shot up his left arm, his right returning to it's attempt to massage away the pain. After a moment he dropped his arm over his eyes again.

"What happened yesterday, Killian?"

"Rum, mostly" he grumbled, "though I have a vague recollection of some kind of cinnamon whiskey that burned like all hell goin' down-"

"That's not what I meant."

"I know, lass."

"Are you... ok?"

"Not remotely love, but I'm sober. I still have a contract and you're all right so I guess it could have been worse.

"You didn't mean what you said to Regina, did you Killian? That you didnt care if you published this book anymore?"

"I was a bit... distracted by more important things."

"What, like getting trashed?"

Killian suddenly sat up, letting out a hiss of pain. He clenched his left forearm and Emma shifted closer in concern.

"What's wrong," she asked, reaching out but hesitating to actually touch him. He leaned his head back against the headboard, eyes closed and jaw clenched.

"It's fine, Swan... just someone forgot to inform my central nervous system that it's wasting its time telling me my left hand is on fire."

"Can I ... do something?"

"I could use a distraction, lass. Tell me why my villain doesn't make sense again. Or exactly how horrifying that little romance I sent you was. Or how about what actually happened that night?"

Emma hesitated for a moment but his eyes were closed and he wasn't watching her. Somehow that made it easier. "Some guy decided not to stop at the stoplight. Hit me pretty hard from behind. Bit of whiplash and quite a bit of damage to my car. Surprised me more than anything else. He actually started to drive away, fortunately there was a cop passing through the intersection, saw the whole thing."

"How's your car?"

"Not so good, both vehicles got towed away as 'evidence' so I'm stuck in a rental car."

"Probably safer than that death trap of yours anyway."

"Hey! Don't you dare insult the bug in front of me!"

He flinched as she raised her voice "Easy love, you trying to kill me?"

"I'm sorry, Killian. I shouldn't have called."

His eyes snapped open and he cocked his head to one side. "Shouldn't have called? Really that's your conclusion? One of us is missing a logical step here love and I don't think it's me."

"If I hadn't called you wouldn't have realized I was in the hospital and we could have avoided this whole mess. It was a trigger for you and I should have known better."

"If you hadn't called I would have spent the next few hours calling hospitals until I found you. This has nothing to do with me having a trigger, love. I was worried about you. I was afraid something had happened to you. Is that so hard for you to understand?"

"I guess... I'm not used to people worrying about me."

"You should get used to it."

"Killian... this thing we're doing right now..."

"Talking?"

"I know what this is. This... you know... bonding thing. It's not how this works."

"Is that so?" Killian asked.

"I just... I don't want you to misunderstand. I don't want you to get hurt-"

"Ruby came over last night didn't she?" Killian broke in.

Emma nodded.

"Remind me to eviscerate her the next time I see her."

"Or... we could talk about something other than evisceration..." Emma changed the subject abruptly, "The romance, what in the world would possess you to use the word alabaster?"

He chuckled and bit down on his lip, "Alabaster... did you know in ancient times works of alabaster were generally brown or yellow? It's-" he clenched his teeth again before continuing, "it often comes with deep red or orange streaks. Think about that next time someone describes alabaster skin. Imagine a person with translucent skin and deep red streaks. Much more interesting of a look."

"I don't think I'll be seeing that word much in the future. Regina finally assigned someone else to the romance novels."

"My poor swan, how will you cope with the loss?"

"I'm certain I'll get through it somehow. The real question is how will Regina cope not being able to laugh at me from her office?"

"You know she didn't put you on the romances to piss you off, right?"

"Really? And how would you know that?"

"I've been working with the same publisher my entire career. I may not have an easy relationship with Miss. Mills, but I do know how she thinks."

Emma laughed, "Ok then. So why do you think Regina put me on the romances"

"Because you're the best."

"Excuse me?" Emma retorted skeptically.

"We were talking at a signing one evening a year or two back. Re-release of some... I don't even remember. Anyway, she told me she was having trouble with one of her newest editors - your predecessor, I suppose. She hadn't much experience so Regina put her in that genre figuring it would be an easy way to get her feet wet. Terrible idea, and I told her so."

"Why?"

"The worse the writing is the better the editor you need. You need someone who can see what emotional strings the author is attempting to pull and show them how to do it better. That's why I asked for you."

"You ... asked for me?"

"I asked for the best. I wanted the person that could see through the easy way to the right way. Someone that would argue with me and tell me when it's crap. Someone I would be able to trust to make it right." He shrugged, leaning his head back again, his jaw tightening enough that Emma knew the wave of pain had not yet passed. Still, that infuriating smirk made its way onto his face again. "If I'd known she'd found such a beautiful lass for the role I'd certainly have gone off the deep end sooner. We could be well passed all this exposition and well on our way towards the... climax." Emma laughed, shaking her head with a little smirk of her own.

"Please...you couldn't handle it."

He raised his eyebrows suggestively and leaned toward her. "Perhaps... you're the one who couldn't handle it?"

She wanted to wipe that smirk off his face, wanted to make him eat his words... or maybe she just wanted to make him stop clenching his left forearm so hard she was surprised it had not yet started to bruise. Without stopping to think she leaned forward, tugging him towards her by the collar of his dress shirt. One hand grasped his collar as the other slipped behind his head to pull him forward into a harsh kiss. For a moment Killian froze in shock, but it didn't take long before his fingers realized that they had the perfect opportunity. The chance for what he'd longed to do since the moment she had caught him at the bottom of that bloody fire escape, her face faintly flushed and hair just slightly windswept. He buried his fingers into her hair, stifling a groan as she pulled him closer, a desperate need taking them both by surprise.

Just as suddenly, she was gone. He leaned forward slightly and her lips hovered just above his. He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears, hear the ragged sound of her breath filling the space between them. _(It wasn't enough, how could it ever be enough...) _He wanted to kiss her again; tell her she was intoxicating... exhilarating... mesmerizing... All his beautiful words dried up in that moment of her breath mingling with his.

"That was- uh-"

"Not professional. It won't happen again."

Killian opened his mouth, though he was not entirely certain what he had planned on saying. For better or for worse he was interrupted by the ringing of Emma's phone. She retreated, grabbing her phone off the bedside table. "Give me five minutes and then you'll have to talk to her," she said, hurrying out of the room with the phone.

"As you wish," he murmured. He lifted his fingers to his lips, dropping his head back against the wall again with a light thud. _It won't happen again._ God, he could still taste her...

_It won't happen again._

* * *

**_Apologies. This chapter has been like 90% done for days just wasn't quite happy with the feel of it. (lol, writers block writing writer's block. Maybe I need an editor :P) Hope you like it anyway, don't forget to drop me a line and tell me what you think. Makes me smile (and write faster generally *unrepentant bribe*)_**


	8. Chapter 8

**Recap:**

Killian opened his mouth, though he was not entirely certain what he had planned on saying. For better or for worse he was interrupted by the ringing of Emma's phone. She retreated, grabbing her phone off the bedside table.

"Give me five minutes and then you'll have to talk to her," she said, hurrying out of the room with her phone.

"As you wish," he murmured. He lifted his fingers to his lips, dropping his head back against the wall again with a light thud. _It won't happen again._ God, he could still taste her...

_It won't happen again._

* * *

"Good Morning Regina," Emma said as she slipped out of the room. His bedroom. (_So not the time, Emma.)_

_"Emma, and how was your little adventure?"_

"More adventurous than most of my days off, I must admit."

_"Are you tired of chasing after Killian Jones yet?"_

"Have you ever heard of Method acting?" Emma asked and she was pretty sure she could actually hear Regina's nails clicking on a desk from here.

_"I assume this is somehow relevant?"_

"Method acting, staying in character all the time even wen you're not on stage. Killian decided that if it worked for actors why not writers. To say the least... I think he understands why that doesn't work now."

Regina laughed lightly...actually laughed. It caught Emma slightly off guard until she heard a voice in the background_ "It gets chocolaty anyway when you add the cereal so why not just put chocolate milk in right away?"_

She was home with Henry, that explained Regina's good mood this morning, Regina's voice was muffled as she turned away from the phone, _"Henry you cannot put chocolate milk in your cereal, put it back. Don't you give me that look, Henry Mills, I'm immune by now, don't you know that?_" Emma smiled. She couldn't really blame him. Chocolate milk in cereal sounded like a great idea. _"All right, Miss Swan. This is in your hands now. You've invested a lot in this project and I'm not telling you to drop it. Just... keep an eye on your career. "_

"What do you mean?"

"_Your replacement is doing just fine on the romances, is what I mean. You no longer have to work with him if you wish to get off that project. He's not the only author you could be working with."_

Emma nodded before realizing that Regina couldn't see it. "I understand."

_"Can you put Killian on the phone. I do need to have a ... brief conversation with him regarding that phone call yesterday."_

Emma handed the phone over to Killian who had finally come into the room.

"A pleasure as always, Regina," Killian said pleasantly as he took the phone from Emma. He waited while Regina spoke and a smile broke onto his lips.

"Did I now... Well, that was a creative use of the word pestiferous. It should be a comfort to you that my narrative style stays so well intact under the influence of alcohol."

He paused again, biting his lip slightly to try to keep the smile off his face and out of his voice. "I agree. In fact, I suspect Emma would suggest to me that the phrase malignant autocrat was indeed... a touch melodramatic."

Emma covered her mouth with her hand to stifle the bark of laughter that threatened to explode from her at any moment. "Too true... and from now on I assure you that I shall portray you more in the light of a benevolent dictator. Tell your lad hello for me, by the way, I can hear him causing trouble over there!"

For some reason that comment seemed to spur Regina into yelling again and Killian grinned "Oh, come now, my hot headed Queen, the lad asked me to teach him."

Finally Emma had to leave the room and go into the kitchen to keep herself from collapsing into hysterical laughter right there within hearing range of the phone. Finally Killian hung up and joined her in the kitchen where Emma had already helped herself to a pop tart from the box on his counter.

Without the distraction of the phone call the silence was near deafening. Killian seemed unperturbed, simply leaning against the doorway watching her for a minute. A half smirk appeared on his face when her cheeks started to warm, but finally he spoke.

"We should talk, love."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Emma, we shared a kiss. I was … hoping it meant something."

"Nothing has changed."

"Everything has changed."

"Why? It was just a kiss."

"It's what the kiss exposed." He closed his eyes briefly and then opened them with a sigh of resignation. "When my first love was taken from me... I never even considered the possibility that I could move on from my Milah. You're the only woman that has made me wonder if perhaps it were possible to not live in darkness. I want to live in the light again, I want ... God Emma, I want you."

"Why are you telling me this?" Emma asked softly.

"I've no desire to hide my intentions from you, Swan, no desire to trick you. When I win your heart, it will be because you want me too."

"I'm not a prize to be won, Killian. This isn't a contest, or a game you can win."

"No? You, Emma Swan, are the most valuable prize a any person could hope to win. You're laughing, love, don't laugh. It's the truth."

"Tell that to my parents, to the foster families to ... him."

"If I could, love, I would."

Emma stood to leave, "I'm sorry, I need to get home-"

"All right, love."

Emma was half in a daze all the way back to her apartment. She hung her jacket next to the door and went to check her messages as though on autopilot. The light blinked telling her she had several messages. One was from a credit card company and she deleted it immediately, the second from a neighbor asking her if she had left her music on. She hadn't, and she made a mental note to tell her next time she saw her that whoever it was leaving music on all day, it wasn't her. When the third message started playing Emma didn't recognize the voice and she almost deleted it, but something stopped her.

"Hi, Emma Swan? Umm, this is going to sound very strange, I'm sure but... I have to try. My name is Mary Margaret Nolan... Emma I'd really like to meet you, if you wouldn't mind" Emma's eyebrows furrowed as the woman's nervous voice continued. "I know you're probably very angry with us, I always hoped one day you'd understand; that I'd be able to tell you myself. I'm sorry, I'm rambling... Emma, I'm ... I'm your mother. I know this seems crazy but please, please call me back."

The woman was still talking, leaving a number or something but Emma didn't hear anything more. Her mother? She didn't have a mother. Before she knew what she was doing she was pulling out her phone. She typed in the number and then deleted it, typed it again and deleted it again before finally putting in another number.

"Swan?"

"Killian."

"Swan, what's wrong? Are you all right?"

"I... Killian can you come over?"

"I'll probably need an address to comply with that request, love," he teased, "And you've been rather hesitant to provide one." Emma sent it in a text and she heard his phone buzz on the other end. "What's going on?" he asked when he saw the text, already grabbing his keys from next to the door.

"I ... She... "

"Emma, are you in trouble?"

"No, no I just... please, just come."

"I'm on my way."

Emma nodded and hung up the phone, pacing back and forth. She replayed the message again but it only added to her confusion. _Why now?_

It wasn't long before a knock sounded on her door. She opened it and Killian stepped inside, "What's going on, Swan?"

Emma didn't speak just hit the play button again once more. Killian's face was confused for a moment and then realization dawned as he listened to the message. When the message finally ended Killian's eyes flicked to hers.

"I take it this is the first communication you've received from this woman?"

Emma nodded.

Killian took her arm and led her over to the couch, where she sat and he squatted in front of her. "You don't have to do anything, love. You know that right?"

Emma nodded again.

"Lass, I'm getting mixed signals at the moment... Is this good news or bad? If you don't want to talk to her we can block her number and you'll never have to hear from her again."

Emma shook her head violently, "I do but... maybe it's not a good idea. Maybe they need something from me, you know, for medical reasons or something."

Killian took her hand, gently letting his thumb drift over her fingers. "That didn't sound like a woman in need of a kidney, Swan. Sounded like a woman who wanted to meet her child."

"What if she's not... what I expect? What if I'm not what she expects?"

"Call her, love," he said with a light squeeze to her fingers, "if you don't you'll always wonder."

"Now?"

"Why not? I'll be right here. If she asks for a kidney give me the phone and I'll tell her what I think of that."

Emma smiled hesitantly and picked up her phone again. She reentered the number and dialed and Killian could hear it ringing. Finally a woman's voice sounded over the line.

_"Hello?" _Emma gaped and didn't say a word. "Hello? … Is anyone there? ... Hello?"

Killian took the phone from her shaking fingers.

"Hello, this is Miss Swan's personal assistant. Could you please specify the nature of your call before I pass along the message to her."

"You're her... Oh, so she didn't get my message? Please, I just..." The woman paused and took a deep breath. "Her father and I have just returned to the country from... abroad, we were hoping that we might be able to find her... meet her if possible."

Killian glanced at Emma who was listening intently but showed no signs of taking the phone from him. "Hmm, there must be some kind of mistake. Miss Swan told me she doesn't have any family."

"She does! Her father and I work for a charity organization providing humanitarian support for war torn regions. We were part of a peace keeping force in Sudan but... The civil war came though and... There were some people at the US embassy that were getting the children out. We couldn't leave but it was too dangerous for her. An embassy aide agreed to take her back to the states and find someone to take care of her. We always meant to find her again but the war dragged on and on... Please, please just tell her we only wanted the best for her."

Emma reached for the phone and Killian nodded. "Let me patch you through to her."

"Hello?"

"Emma?"

"Yes?"

"Emma, I'm sorry, this must seem so abrupt - I just needed you to know-"

"I heard."

"Would you be willing to meet us? We've found a place up in Maine, but we'd come to you... if you'd allow it."

She hesitated and glanced at Killian. His words came back to her,_ 'If you don't you'll always wonder.'_

"All right, when?"

"Anytime, sweetheart."

Emma stiffened at the endearment but responded flatly, "Dinner tomorrow?"

"Of course, just send me an address, we'll be there."

It was rude and she knew it, but she'd had enough and she just hung up the phone, dropping it onto the floor with a thud. "You all right, lass?" Killian asked.

Emma shook her head, "They were supposed to be terrible."

"I'm… not sure I follow?"

"They abandoned me... They were supposed to be terrible irresponsible people. Not... charity workers. How can I hate charity workers?"

"You could try not hating them, I suppose."

Emma laughed, "that would take some getting used to."

"You've had something of a long day today, Emma, and it's not even noon. I think this calls for pizza."

Emma grinned, "There better be extra cheese involved."

"Always."

Killian left to pick up pizza (because Joe made the best pizza around and delivery is an abomination, apparently) and when he returned he handed her a plate and a small pink container.

"What is this?" she asked.

"Pepper spray," he said simply, "In case they really do want your kidney."

Emma laughed and it seemed to lighten the cords tightening around her chest. This was easy. Pizza and drinks on a Saturday night in her apartment. Talking about everything, (_it's what the kiss exposed_), everything except work _(God, Emma, I want you). _Just having a good time and not thinking about anything (_when I win your heart..._)

_Stop it, Emma. Just enjoy it while it lasts. Because tomorrow he'll forget he wanted you and things will go back to the way they were. The way they were supposed to be. _He seemed to be able to feel her tension, because when she tensed up thinking about her parents' dinner (or him...) he poured her a drink and explained that the British Royal Navy had an official toast for every day of the week.

"Well I guess now I know what you mean when you say research. What's Saturdays toast?"

"Used to be to wives and sweethearts, I think."

"May they never meet?" Emma responded.

Killian raised an eyebrow and she shrugged, "saw it in a movie one time."

The toasts grew gradually more absurd as they tried to top each other by toasting to 'keeping the people in and the water out,' and 'that all your landfalls be expected.'

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Killian?" Emma finally asked when Killian raised his glass to 'keeping the wet side down and the pointy end away.'

"That would be bad form... Now," he raised his glass again, "Are you going to toast to our continued failure to accomplish death?"

Emma smiled and acquiesced. After one too many drinks Emma suddenly decided that it was a Disney night and asked Killian if he wanted to watch Peter Pan. He shuddered, "God awful movie, that."

"What? Who doesn't like Peter Pan!"

"A child vs a craven, why would someone watch such a contest? Besides Pan gives me the creeps, who wants to stay a child forever?"

They finally agreed on Enchanted, (but only after Emma solemnly swore that the knowledge of that fact would go with her to her grave.) While watching the absurdity of a New York fairy tale, she almost forgot about the nervous clenching in her stomach that worsened every time she remembered the woman whose voice had turned her world upside down in less than a minute.

* * *

**Oh my gosh.. I am even more excited for the rest of this story now. Everything finally just kind of clicked in my head and I think it's going to be even better/ more exciting than I originally planned. It also was only going to be a couple chapters longer but I think it may have just expanded. You're welcome to the reviewer who asked for a longer story :P You're never going to guess what I've got up my sleeve.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Recap:**

"What? Who doesn't like Peter Pan!"

"A child vs a craven, why would someone watch such a contest? Besides Pan gives me the creeps, who wants to stay a child forever?"

They finally agreed on Enchanted, (but only after Emma solemnly swore that the knowledge of that fact would go with her to her grave.) While watching the absurdity of a New York fairy tale, she almost forgot about the nervous clenching in her stomach that worsened every time she remembered the woman whose voice had turned her world upside down in less than a minute.

* * *

Even after several (too many) glasses of rum sleep still eluded Emma. Killian had gone home nearly two hours ago after the movie ended (Whose stupid idea had it been to watch a fairy tale with Killian Jones? _I am such an idiot._)

_Swan (1:43 AM): Forgot to ask you before you left, when do you want to meet, to go over the next draft?_

_KJ (1:44 AM): Don't worry about it, lass. _

_Swan (1:44 AM): What do you mean, it's my job to worry about it._

_____KJ (1:44 AM): The dinner will be fine, Emma._

___Swan (1:44 AM): I didn't say anything about the dinner._

_________KJ (1:45 AM): You mean to have me believe that you texted me at nearly 2 in the morning on a Saturday night about work? Really?_

_Swan (1:47 AM): Maybe I should cancel._

_______KJ (1:47 AM): Is that a question?_

___Swan (1:47 AM): Yes?_

_________KJ (1:47 AM): You are a confusing lass, Emma Swan. _

_Swan (1:47 AM): And you're not being very helpful! I think I need a new court advisor!_

_KJ (1:48 AM): Apologies, Princess. I'm sure some other member of your court would be much more amenable to dolling out sage advice at 2 in the morning. _

_Swan (1:48 AM): Did I wake you?_

_KJ (1:48 AM): As it happens, no. This is the chance you've been waiting for, love.__ I know that If I was given the opportunity I'd take it. _

_Swan (1:50 AM): To see your parents again?_

_KJ (1:54 AM): Actually, it's my brother I'd give anything to see again. _

_Swan (1:54 AM): Oh... Sorry._

_KJ (1:54 AM): Don't worry, love, if it was prying I wouldn't have answered. The point is i__f you let fear get in the way of this you'll probably regret it one day._

___KJ (1:54 AM): Do you want me to come with you? On the off-chance they are psychopaths? _

_Swan (1:55 AM): I can take care of myself, don't you forget!_

___KJ (1:55 AM): I wouldn't dare. Not just any princess, a warrior princess through and through. _

_____Swan (1:58 AM): Goodnight, Killian. _

_KJ (1:59 AM): Sleep well, my princess._

One word.

One stupid word that changed everything. _My _princess. He laughed to himself, he'd be lucky if she was still speaking to him tomorrow after that one. Then again she had been the one to kiss him, to stay, to text him at 2 in the morning. That was more than professional, right? He dropped his phone off the side of the bed and leaned back, wondering when he had turned into that man, the one who stays up at night wondering if some lass was perturbed by a couple of extra letters in a text message.

* * *

The next day went by in a haze for Emma, counting down the minutes until she had to show up at the restaurant and meet them. The ones that gave her up. She almost called Killian a half dozen times to ask him to come with her but she wasn't that girl. She could take care of herself... and this was her fight. She hesitated outside the restaurant suddenly realizing that she had no way of knowing which happy couple inside were the one she was waiting for. Her phone buzzed and she took it out, glancing down.

_KJ (6:56 PM): Did you bring the pepper spray?_

She laughed and pocketed her phone, taking a deep breath and pushing the door open. She didn't have to worry for long about finding the right table. A petite woman hurried up to her right away.

"Emma? Emma it's so good to see you, to meet you I mean. Come, sit down." A taller man with brown hair pulled out her chair for her. David, she thought it was. Thankfully there was wine on the table and David poured her a glass. Emma drank it embarrassingly quickly but David just smiled and refilled it.

"Thank you for meeting with us, Emma," he said, "I know this can't be easy for you."

Emma nodded awkwardly. _It's nice to finally meet you. _That's what she should have said. What she did say was... "You're... younger than I expected."

Mary Margaret flushed a bit. "We were indeed, young parents, Emma. And I guess we've just... aged gracefully."

They asked her about her work and her hobbies and it felt a little like a job interview at first. Still, they were pleasant people and easy to get along with when you ignored the fact that they were the reason she'd never had a real home. Finally David spoke up, "Emma, surely you have some... some questions you'd like to ask us?"

_Why_? (She knew why...) _Why?_

"How do you like Maine?"

"Oh," David said, "well, it's quite beautiful up there. But.. we've actually rented a hotel room here in the city. We thought it might be nice to get a chance to... get to know you better."

"Only if you don't mind," Mary Margaret jumped in hurriedly.

Emma just nodded at first, "I think I might like that."

"Emma..." Mary Margaret said carefully, "I know you don't want to talk about it... but I just need you to know how much we regret not being there for you growing up."

Emma laughed awkwardly taking another sip of wine. Was she supposed to say it's ok. It wasn't so bad. The foster system was great?

"Sounds like you didn't have much of a choice."

"There's always a choice." David said, "It was a bad situation, but we'll always regret not finding a better way."

"It's getting late," Emma said flatly, "I should get going but... Do you want to do this again? I could... show you my place or something."

"Oh, we'd love that. David actually does have some business for a couple days, but... maybe I could come cook for you tomorrow?"

_Girls night_. That sounded like the kind of thing that Emma would usually avoid, but instead she just wrote down her address and bid the couple (_her parents_) goodnight. Her parents. She felt as though she'd spent the night watching herself interact with strangers, and she was pretty sure that she couldn't remember most of what had been said if her very life depended on it.

When she got back to her apartment there was a box on her doorstep. She fumbled for her keys in her pocket as she picked up the box. She wondered who had left it, if it were safe until she saw the card on top. It had "Granny's" written on top and a brief message; _Well done, my Swan._

Emma smiled and pushed into the door, opening the box as she kicked the door closed behind her. Inside was a packet of hot cocoa and two bear claws. She laughed and pulled off a piece of the bear claw. It was still warm. She moved into the room without locking the door and pulled out her phone.

_Swan (8:58 PM): Come on in, Killian. _

Within a few minutes there was a knock on her door and it swung open.

"Still have both kidney's, I see?"

"I sure hope so."

"You ok, love?"

"They were perfect."

"That's rude of them," Killian commented, snatching a piece of her bear claw. Emma smacked his hand lightly with a glare as a he popped the pastry into his mouth.

"They're staying in the city for a few days, to spend time with me. Mary Margaret is coming over tomorrow. She wants to cook dinner for me."

"Sounds nice?"

"Sounds like they're trying to be my parents again." Emma said, wringing her hands anxiously, "I don't have parents, Killian. What are they doing? Do they think that they can just … pretend that I'm a kid again? What do they want from me?"

Killian reached out to take her hand, to stop her from clenching them so tightly. "Not everyone wants something from you. Some people just want you to be happy."

"Oh like you, I suppose," she snapped, pulling her hand from his grip. "You don't want anything from me either, right Killian?"

Killian didn't respond, instead simply tearing another piece off the bear claw.

Emma sighed, "Back to the real world tomorrow, Killian."

"I prefer it here," he said simply.

_Me too,_ Emma thought. Instead she said, "I should get some sleep. Long day tomorrow."

Killian nodded, still oddly quiet, but he smiled at her before he left and told her "Good night, Emma."

"Killian?" Emma asked suddenly as Killian reached for the door knob.

"With just me and her... it might be awkward. Would you come? To dinner with us?"

"As the lady insists."

The door clicked shut behind him and Emma locked it, leaning her head against the door for a moment._ I'm doing this all wrong. _She just invited Killian Jones, her client, to dinner with her, apparently, mother. _ Very professional, Emma,_ she thought in frustration.

* * *

When she arrived at work the next morning, A new stack of manuscripts had appeared on her desk. To her satisfaction, none of them contained the word alabaster so far she could tell. She worked on one of them until midday, trying not to think about the fact that one of these authors could be her next project, when she was done with Killian. How much longer could they work on this project... As though responding to her thought, her computer chirped with an e-mail from Killian.

_I've had a thought, love. What do you think? _

When she started the excerpt... The characters were all the same. The pirate queen was still gone, and the pirate was still in search of his revenge. Then something changed. In the midst of his search he comes across a woman. A spirited lass who promises him to help him with his quest for revenge if he helps her to rescue her son from a fearsome giant at the top of a mountain. It breathed new life into the story. A fresh adventure that pulled his characters out of stagnation.

The woman's name was not Esma, but she had golden hair that gleamed like the sun and Emma couldn't help but imagine her with green eyes.

_____Swan (4:38 PM): I thought you knew how it ended?_

_KJ (4:39 PM): It appears I've had a change of heart. The prior progression was so... depressing. _

_____Swan (5:03 PM): I like it Killian, but we're going to have to backtrack and do some more restructuring. _

_____________KJ (5:04 PM): Why not, love. You know you want to spend more time with me. Speaking of which-_

___________________Swan (5:04 PM): I'm heading home soon. Mary Margaret will be there at 5:30. _

She tried to pretend this was just going to be like any other night. Just drinking rum with Killian and going over the latest drafts. Normal, comfortable. Still, butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she made her way up her stairs. Killian was already there, waiting outside her door when she arrived.

"Am I late?" she asked, confused.

"No, lass, I just have this thing about promptness, always have."

Emma hurried back and forth across the apartment cleaning up invisible dirt and moving decor from place to place until finally Killian stood up, took her arm and dragged her to the couch, handing her a flask.

"Drink, Swan. You're exhausting me just watching you."

She took a sip and then a deep breath and then another. At precisely 5:30 PM there is a knock on the door. Emma hurried across the room opening it to find Mary Margaret burdened down with several large grocery bags. Killian stepped forward to take them, waving his hand for her to enter, "After you, mi'lady."

Mary Margaret looked at him strangely for a moment before Emma remembered that they hadn't been introduced. "Mary Margaret, this is Killian."

"Oh," she said in surprise, "I didn't realize that you had, that you were... Well that's lovely-"

"Killian is a friend, from work," Emma interrupted before the woman's face could go any redder.

"Great, It's nice to meet you Killian, are you an editor too?"

"Editee, as it were."

"You must have a fantastic vocabulary then," Mary Margaret commented as she pulled groceries from the bags.

Killian shrugged, "I've been told I use the word alabaster too frequently."

Mary Margaret glanced up in confusion for second, then rolled her eyes and went back to her unpacking.

"So, what are we making?" Emma asked.

"Fajitas!" Mary Margaret said excitedly.

Emma smiled, "I love fajitas."

"Must run in the family. Here," She handed a bottle of wine to Emma, "Why don't you get started on this and Killian, perhaps you could find us some glasses?"

They went off to complete their assigned tasks, and before long the kitchen began to sound of sizzling chicken and peppers. As Mary Margaret began to spoon fajita mix into a bowl Emma's shook her head. "I think I've been up abusing my kitchen all this time, the only thing it ever gets used for is reheating things and warming milk!"

"That's important too, how else could you make hot chocolate!"

"You like hot chocolate?" Emma looked up from setting the table.

"With a dash of cinnamon!"

"That's my favorite too."

"I know," Mary Margaret smiled. "You are my daughter after all, however long we've been apart!"

Emma fell silent and Mary Margaret blushed, glancing down at her plate, "So, shall we?"

They were quiet for a few minutes while everyone served themselves and then it happened. What Emma had been dreading. The silence. That awkward silence that reminded her that she didn't know this woman. Not really. Not at all.

"So..." Mary Margaret finally said, turning to Killian. "You're not actually her personal assistant?"

"Indeed not. I do apologize for the deception. We were unsure of your intentions."

"That's all right, so you're an author. What do you write about, Killian?"

Killian smiled, "Depends on my mood. At the moment I seem to have a thing for high seas adventure novels!"

Mary Margaret started to laugh but caught herself quickly. "Do you really? Tell me, do you have a lot of experience as a buccaneer?"

"Aye, lass. Centuries worth, I assure you I'm quite qualified to write on the subject."

Mary Margaret glanced up at him in surprise. "What? What do you mean?"

"Only a joke, love, and apparently not a funny one."

"So you're living up in Maine?" Emma broke in. "Any particular reason you ended up there?"

"Oh you know how it goes... sometimes it just seems like you end up somewhere you're meant to be. What about you, Emma? Do you like living in New York? Are you happy here?"

"Best pizza anywhere, so there's that," Emma joked, "I mean I have my work here, and I've been here so long. I guess it's as close to home as I have."

"How long have you lived here, in New York?"

"I don't know, forever I guess."

"Well if you ever get tired of city life, think about coming up north. It's beautiful and... Well Emma... your father and I just want you to know you're always welcome there."

Emma was pretty sure her jaw hit the floor and she choked on a piece of chicken. Killian reached over and rubbed her back gently as she tried to process what had just happened.

"What... What do you mean?"

"We missed you growing up, Emma. And we're sorry for that every day. It would mean the world to us if you'd consider letting us back into your life. I'm not saying you have to move in with us right away or anything. But... New York is a dangerous city ... And it would be nice to live in the same state as you. Just something to think about."

"I have a ... a job here, a life. I can't just up and move in with my long lost parents."

"We don't expect that Emma. We don't, we just want you to know that were here now. If you ever need us."

Emma gaped and then stood... "I just need ... I'll start cleaning up." She disappeared into the kitchen without taking her plate with her.

Mary Margaret winced, "Too much," she muttered under her breath. I should have known better I just..."

Killian took Emma's plate and his own, "Let me talk to her. It'll be fine, she just needs a moment to think, I'm sure." When Killian entered the kitchen Emma was leaning against the counter next to the sink grasping the edge tightly as if it could help her find her balance again.

"Emma?"

"Yes, I'm fine, just cleaning up."

"Cleaning what?" he teased.

Emma glared and grabbed the plates from his hand. "She can't honestly think I'm just going to up and leave. I don't even know her! And where does she get off worrying about me living in a 'dangerous city' I've lived here forever. I think I can handle it."

"I think it's a mother's prerogative to worry love, regardless of how odd the circumstances. They just want to be a part of your life now, get to know you."

"Oh so you think I should just head off to Maine to try to relive my childhood!"

"You don't have to make any life altering decisions, Swan. Just go back out there. Talk to her."

"Couldn't I just hide in here," Emma said with a half smile.

"You could. But you've a bit of fajita sauce on your lip and if you stay in here any longer I might be forced to kiss you." He liked to think that perhaps she hesitated a moment before returning to the dining room. He waited a couple minutes before moving towards the dining room again but then he heard laughter. He turned around and made for the sink, contemplating how long he could take washing two dishes without being obvious that he was trying to give them time alone together. Probably a while, after all he did have only one hand. Just as he was contemplating cleaning the 2 plates one more time Mary Margaret came into the kitchen with more dirty dishes from the table.

"Thank you, Killian," she told him softly.

"You cook I do dishes, that's the rule, is it not?"

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

Killian turned back to the sink with a smile. When the sound of laughter from the other room sounded again his smile turned melancholy. What if she left. What if she went back to Maine with her new family? She deserved this chance. To have a real family. 5 hours away from NY though? _ I could follow her,_ his mind whispered. _She'd probably think me a stalker._.. He thought of Ruby, of the diner she and her grandmother had built here... of the apartment he'd shared with Milah. Could he leave it all behind?

He gave the last plate one more rinse before putting it on the drying rack.

Mary Margaret stuck her head into the kitchen just as Killian was about to come back out, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Killian, I must be going."

"The pleasure was all mine, milady," he replied, giving her a teasing bow.

He followed her from the kitchen and they walked her to the door. "We'll do this again soon?" she said to Emma stepping forward to hug her. Emma stiffened in surprise but relaxed after a moment and laid her hand lightly on her mother's back.

"Sure," Emma replied as the woman pulled away, "See you soon."

As the door shut behind her, Emma sighed in relief. "Did you not enjoy your evening, Swan?" Killian asked, seeing her wilt slightly.

"I'm just not used to being... the center of attention. It's kind of exhausting. Thanks for being here."

Killian smiled and reached for her, gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. It was the lightest of touches that brushed across her cheek, but she felt the whole world narrow down to that single point of contact. "There's no place I'd rather be," he murmured.

"What about a pirate ship?"

He screwed up his face in a mockery of concentration... "Well... a pirate ship would be a fascinating-" he broke off when Emma smacked him lightly. "See you tomorrow Jones."

"You know Emma, you haven't sent me back the latest draft yet. You wouldn't be trying to draw out the process now would you?"

Emma laughed, "And why would I do that?"

"Well it certainly has been nice seeing each other almost every evening. I promise, though, that doesn't have to stop when we're ready to submit. That's not the end, that's when the fun begins."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Good night, Jones."

* * *

She was going to be late. So late. Regina was going to smite her. Obliterate her. No one would ever find the body. She slid into the first parking spot she could find and flew out of the car. Her morning meeting with Regina had started 4 minutes ago and Emma had barely made it out of bed this morning. What's worse is she hadn't had time for coffee yet. Could she deal with an angry Regina without coffee?

She paused for a second outside Regina's office to catch her breath and smooth down her skirt before pushing open the door.

"Good morning, Miss Mills."

"Good afternoon, Miss Swan." For the briefest of moments Emma felt a flurry of panic, was her clock wrong? She glanced down at her watch. 9:07 AM. She looked up in confusion and Regina was chuckling to herself.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Emma started but Regina waved her apology aside.

"We need to talk about Mr. Jones."

"I know. He's getting there. He just sent me a new draft yesterday. He's reworked some major plot points so it will need a little restructuring but-"

"I want you off that project," Regina interrupted.

"What?"Emma said, when she managed to find her voice again.

"Don't get me wrong, you've done wonderfully keeping him on track but I think you've reached the point of diminishing returns with him."

"But we're so close to finishing."

"This isn't a chastisement, Miss Swan. In fact, just the opposite. There's been a job opening for a managing editor."

"Isn't that your job?"

"It is here. The position is in our Portland, Maine office. Bit colder up there, but you'd be running your own office. I'm recommending you for the job, Emma, it's yours if you want it."

* * *

**Maine hmm? I'm sensing a theme... (Ok, technically I'm creating a theme. Details details. )**

**Guesses anyone, Is Emma going to Portland?**

**Either way I think the fun is about to begin :P **


	10. Chapter 10

**Recap:**

"The position is in our Portland, Maine office. Bit colder up there, but you'd be running your own office. I'm recommending you for the job, Emma, it's yours if you want it."

* * *

Regina wanted Emma to leave as soon as possible, and as Emma sat back down at her desk, she was faced with a question she'd never had to consider before. Does Emma Swan believe in coincidences... fate? Her parents came back into her life out of nowhere, tell her to consider coming up to live with them in Maine. Then within 24 hours she's being offered a promotion. A job in Portland, Maine. That had to be more than a coincidence, right?

_Sometimes it just seems like you end up somewhere you're meant to be._ That's what her mother told her just last night. Maybe she was right? Maybe this would take her to the place she was really meant to be? So what of her life here? Her mind seemed to drift back to Killian without her volition. His lips on hers, his hand tangled in her hair, _I was hoping it meant something._

She felt the impulse to call him, an impulse that was gradually taking over anytime she felt stressed. Because he would make her laugh, pour her a drink and give her a bear claw and make everything feel so... normal. For some reason he made her feel safe. Made her feel like she'd known him for much longer than just the time they'd been working on his novel...

That's why she had to go, get out now before she got in too deep. She picked up the latest printout of Killian's book from underneath one of the newer projects. She'd been putting off finishing, somehow now it didn't seem as hard to admit that. Now she had to finish. She spent the rest of the day putting together a final polished edit. When she finally attached the latest document to an email and entered Killian's email address she hesitated over the message to include with it.

_Mr. Jones, I've attached a polished edit. From this point forward please relate any comments to Regina Mills until she assigns a new editor to your case._

She shook her head and deleted the line, starting again with a sigh.

_Killian. Here is the polished edit. If you are happy with it as it stands we will move into the next phase which starts with sending this product to Regina._

After rereading it, she deleted that one too.

_Killian, I've been offered a job outside the city, Regina will assign a new editor to your case, if you still feel one is necessary after reading this latest product. If not _

Finally she gave up and simply wrote '_polished edit attached'_ and clicked send.

_KJ (5:47 PM): Someone had a burst of productivity today?_

_Swan (6:03 PM): Do you want to come over, Killian. We need to talk._

_KJ (6:07 PM): I've found that when a woman says that I'm rarely in for a pleasant conversation._

_Swan (6:07 PM): 6:30?_

_KJ (6:07 PM): See you soon, Swan._

_What am I going to tell him,_ she wondered as she drove home. She felt like a teenager trying to figure out how to break up with her first boyfriend. But it wasn't like that. It was just a kiss. Sure, he'd be disappointed that he didn't get any farther, but it's not like it meant anything. Would he yell, try to convince her not to go, maybe try to get her to fall into bed with him as a goodbye present? What if he didn't care, what if he just shrugged and asked who his next editor would be?

_That would be easier,_ she thought, trying to ignore the nervous butterflies in her stomach that accompanied that possibility.

He was prompt as always, but he seemed to sense her tension the moment he entered the room.

"Regina just offered me a promotion," she blurted out as they settled on the couch.

Killian smiled, "Congratulations, love, you deserve it."

"I have to go," she said abruptly. She flinched, so much for breaking it to him softly.

"It's your apartment Swan, where would you have to go?" he teased, but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"The new job... it's in Maine." Killian's face fell slightly and she continued. "I know it's only like 6 hours but... I don't know, this is as close to home as I've ever gotten, but it's a great opportunity."

"Do you have to decide right away?"

"I've already decided. This is the closest to home I've ever gotten... but it's not my home. This is my chance. It's a good job... and I can get to know my parents."

Killian didn't move and Emma wouldn't quite have been sure he'd even heard until she saw the slightest tightening of his jaw.

"Where, when?" he finally asked.

"Portland... whenever I can get packed up and book a flight. Tomorrow, if possible."

"Tomorrow? What about your apartment? What about..." he trailed off leaving the rest unspoken. "So... That's it? You wanted to finish your job here and be done with it? Make a clean break."

"It's nothing personal, Killian," she retorted, regretting it almost the instant the words passed her lips.

He stiffened visibly, but after a moment he reached for her, gently toying with the ends of her hair that fell over her shoulder. His hand slipped up and he ran his thumb along her jaw. A half-smirk drifted across his face when her breath hitched. She didn't move as he leaned towards her, his hand moving to tangle in her hair and press her gently forward to catch her lips. She told herself not to move. To stay hard as stone... it was nothing personal; but the moment his lips touched hers the facade crumpled. One moment she was cold as ice, the next she burned.

It was different. Her kiss had caught him off guard. He had been stiff, even unsure for a moment... but there was no uncertainty now. She pressed herself closer and she felt him smile, a low chuckle rumbled through his lips to hers as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. She reached for him, despite everything she had told herself, her fingers locked behind his neck and pulled him closer of their own accord.

It was just because she was going to miss this - this feeling of being loved, cherished -

She pulled away abruptly as her mind ventured into unacceptable territory; but she was still locked in his arms and she wasn't ready- wasn't ready to let the cold in again.

"No love, nothing personal," he mocked gently, brushing a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. It had to stop here, she knew it had to stop here. She was leaving and she couldn't get attached when it's just going to be gone. He'd realize she was too much trouble soon, he'd figure out that she couldn't give him what he wanted.

"It's just chemistry, Jones. Hormones. We're both attractive people, it's to be expected that we'd be ... physically compatible..."

He chuckled again and she knew she was rambling, but his smile fell when he finally drew his eyes from where he was curling his fingers through her hair back up to her eyes. They glistened with moisture and she turned away, closing herself off as his gaze fell on her. He leaned forward slightly and pressed a light kiss on one eyelid then the other, tasting the salt from the tears that she wouldn't let fall.

"Don't do this to yourself, love. Please, don't put your walls back up."

She didn't respond, only closing her eyes tighter and taking a steadying breath.

"Portland, eh?" Killian mused, as though to himself. "I hear Maine is lovely and I've got it on good authority that my publisher has an office up there. Much more reasonably priced real estate. I'm sure I could find a decent little place by the water for the money I've put into my condo here."

Her eyes snapped open, "What?"

"Don't act so surprised, love. Haven't I already made it clear to you? I'm in this for the long haul."

_They all are. Until they're not. _"You're serious?" she asked, "You'd just pick up and leave New York for some middle-of-nowhere town in Maine?"

"Why not," Killian teased, feigning nonchalance. "I've always wanted to see the northern lights over the ocean."

"You realize that following me out-of-state puts you firmly in creepy stalker territory, right?"

Killian grinned and raised her hand to his lips, "Would you prefer that I stay here, love?" Emma shook her head, then rolled her eyes when Killian smiled teasingly, "Thought so. Have you told your parents yet?"

Emma seized upon the change of subject gratefully, "Not yet. I wasn't sure how, you know?"

"English," Killian said firmly.

"What?" Emma asked in confusion.

"I'm pretty sure there isn't a wrong way, as long as you're speaking english."

Emma smiled, "I'll call her later."

Killian raised an eyebrow, "You should probably tell them before you get on a flight. You wouldn't be procrastinating, now would you?"

"Yes," Emma sighed, leaning her head back against the couch in exasperation. Killian instantly leaned forward and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her throat. At the last moment he held back, leaving her surprisingly disappointed. "You should go," she sighed, "I'll call her but...I have get ready, to pack. I'll probably have to keep my apartment until the end of the month so I can make a couple trips. I don't have a lot of knick-knacks so it shouldn't take long..."

"Send me your flight information, love, I'll see you off. It'll take me a couple days to cut ties with NY, but I should be able to be up there by the end of the week."

Emma furrowed her eyebrows watching him for any sign of insincerity. He certainly seemed to think he was telling the truth...

"Are you sure Killian?" she asked one last time as he was leaving the apartment

"See you tomorrow, love."

_She was leaving. Emma was leaving New York ... and he was following her._ He chuckled lightly as he made his way down the stairs. It was quite possible that he had lost his mind. Yet, somehow, he was still smiling. He began to make a list of what he still needed to do. He'd need to put his apartment on the market look into places up in Maine... he could rent until he found a more permanent solution. He'd have to talk to Regina, submit the latest draft. It had been ready for some time, of course, even Emma's latest polished copy was not that different than the previous iteration. He'd been putting off the final submission, perhaps she had been too.

By the time he reached his apartment he'd managed a pretty thorough mental plan for getting himself to Maine by the end of the week...He needed to talk to Ruby though. To his surprise, when he reached his door Ruby was already there, waiting outside and leaning against the wall as though she'd been waiting there for some time.

He pulled out his key and called out to her, taking the last steps two at a time. "Ruby, I was just about to call you."

He unlocked the door, but instead of laughing she just pushed her way into his apartment a scowl on her features.

"Good to see you too, Red?"

"Got a minute, Killian?" she asked nervously. _Ruby was never nervous…_

"Indeed, and I have something to tell you, lass... would you stop pacing and have a drink? What's gotten into you?" Killian made his way to the bar picking up his flask and tossing it to Ruby. It fell, skittering across the floor.

"Red? What's wrong?"

"You said you had something to tell me? You first."

Killian sat lightly on the edge of the couch watching her as she continued pacing back and forth across his living room, hands grasped tightly together and jaw set.

"Are you in some kind of trouble, Red? My news can wait."

"No... just. Tell me what you were going to say."

Killian watched her for a moment longer before finally giving in. Red could be nearly as stubborn as he was... "I kissed Emma," He said, then the rest came out in a barely discernible jumble. "Well she kissed me... and then I kissed her and she's moving to Maine and I can't let this chance go by, Red, I can't."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to follow her, I have to."

Ruby nodded and took a deep breath.

"I'm going to miss morning's at Granny's, Red, but it's only 6 hours. It's not like it's the end of the world, right? Emma and I will be back for drinks on weekends sometimes, I'm sure!"

Ruby attempted a half-smile but she still looked tense and Killian grew more concerned. "Red, talk to me."

"I promised, Killian. I promised and it's been so long but it doesn't change the fact that I promised."

Killian stood to move towards her but she put a hand up and gestured for him to sit down again. "It's the first of the month, I promised I would call. Every month for as long as it takes."

For a moment Killian was taken aback. "You still... after all this time?"

Ruby nodded. "They know me by now. Usually, the desk sergeant just asks me how business is and tells me about his kids baseball games but this time... they have something, Killian." She held out a small white envelope. "I went to the station to be sure... They wanted to send this with a court courier but I convinced them to let me tell you myself-"

Time seemed to stop for a moment while Killian tried to decipher Ruby's words. "You mean..."

"They tested the paint on the car that hit Emma. I mean, what are the chances- "

"Red-" Killian started, but his throat dried up and his voice failed him as he took the envelope from Ruby. Inside was a form from the Court of the State of New York, calling him as a witness in the case of NY vs Gold for charges of vehicular manslaughter. He couldn't read anymore for the shaking of his hands.

"This is what they've been waiting for. Something to tie him to her case. They just need your testimony about the original accident. Please. Go to Maine, let the police do their job. Give them their testimony and move on."

"Let them- He's been free, living his life out there all this time. And in a few years, assuming they can actually convict him in the first place after all this time...In a few years he'll be free again. And she'll ... she'll still be dead."

"Killian-"

"Go, Red, I need to be alone... I need to think."

"K-"

"I said GO."

Ruby winced at the chill in his voice then turned to leave pausing at the door to turn back to him. "I'm sorry, Killian. I'm sorry I promised."

As he heard Ruby's steps fade he finally managed to unclench his hand from around the summons. It was crinkled and crushed now but he could still read the one line that mattered. 'Defendant Name.'

* * *

**Oh, I'm sorry, did you think that he'd forgotten about Milah already? Oh no no no, dearies. **

**Sorry this one is kind of short and kind of delayed. I was distracted by FROZEN! **

**We survived the hiatus, congratulations everyone!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Recap:**

As he heard Ruby's steps fade he finally managed to unclench his hand from around the summons. It was crinkled and crushed now but he could still read the one line that mattered. 'Defendant Name.'

* * *

"Tomorrow? Emma that's wonderful news! Your father was going to catch an early flight back to New York but it seems now that will be quite unnecessary."

"I'm not going to move in with you, you know that right?" Emma asked, shifting the phone from one hand to her shoulder as she unlocked her door. "It's just a transfer."

"Of course, Emma, You're a grown woman, we understand that. I'm just grateful for the chance to spend some time with you. So, what about this Killian? He's coming with you, of course?"

Emma cocked an eyebrow in confusion, "Why would you assume that?"

Mary Margaret laughed musically before responding. "I may be a happily married woman, Emma, but I'm not blind. Killian Jones is in love with you. It's plain as day."

Emma's throat went dry.

"It's not like that, Mary Margaret. There's something… but I don't know. I don't know yet."

"But he is coming?"

"Not with me. But I think he's moving to Portland too. I mean he'll have his own place and… why do you care about that anyway?"

"I don't, of course, Mary Margaret said rapidly, "I can't wait to tell your father you're coming back to Maine."

"Back?" Emma chuckled, "I've never been to Maine."

"I just meant back with me, of course, but… Really, not even for a visit or a vacation?"

"Nope. I've been in New York pretty much forever. I'm a bit of a workaholic, never really had any reason to take much vacation time."

"Oh well you'll have to now! We can show you around our little town. It won't take long, it's much smaller than Portland. But it's home. I hope you''ll bring Killian with you?"

"We'll see, Mary Margaret." Emma sighed in exasperation. She'd never had a mother before but she was pretty sure liking the boyfriend so much wasn't quite normal. "Anyway I'm going to fly out there first to scope out the new job, make sure everything seems right. I'll drive my car there with some more of my stuff some other weekend, once I'm sure."

"We should fly back together! I'll get your ticket!" Maty Margaret said enthusiastically.

Emma laughed in spite of herself, "That's really not necessary."

"I insist, Emma! I'll send you the details later tonight."

"All right. I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow, then?"

"Good night, honey."

It was embarrassing how much the little endearment caught Emma off guard, and her voice caught in her throat. "Good night," she finally managed before hastily dropping her phone on the counter. Her phone was getting a lot more use these days and it was strange. Having people to talk to. To coordinate things with. People who cared what she did after she got home from work. It was all new, and it perhaps... wasn't so bad.

She threw together a carry on bag, just the bare necessities that she would need in a new city. It was a new job so she should probably stay away from her favorite black jeans and comfiest boots. Adult clothes _(maybe she could trick them into thinking she was a responsible adult in a management position...),_ her favorite red pen, laptop, cell phone. A couple manuscripts. In case things didn't go well and she wanted to return to NY it would be nice to have something to show for her little vacation. Besides that would give her something to do on the plane so it didn't get awkward.

She fell asleep sometime between 2 and 3 in the morning, her laptop still open on her bed open to various apartment complexes in Maine.

What seemed like a moment later she woke to a pounding on her door and her room was bright with the morning light. She glanced at her phone and saw Mary Margaret had texted her some time during the night with flight details. The flight left at 11AM and... she cursed under her breath. It was already 8:15.

When she finally managed to stumble her way to the door and pull it open. Mary Margaret was outside looking nervous. "Oh thank goodness, you're dressed. I thought perhaps you'd changed your mind.

"No sorry... I just crashed last night, apparently. But I'm packed."

"Well, let's go then. We're never going to make it through security at this rate!"

Emma rushed back into her bathroom to wash up, changed quickly and threw her hair up into a ponytail to be dealt with later. In the few minutes of the taxi ride to the airport she had just enough time to text Killian in between Mary Margaret's excited rambling about how much fun it was going to be to have her back in Maine.

_Swan (8:29 AM): Good morning sunshine! Sorry about the late notice. I fell asleep last night without so much as taking off my boots. Mary Margaret has already kidnapped me. We're off to the airport. I'm on Delta 3581. _

_KJ (8:29 AM): Trying to shake me without saying goodbye, Swan? Not bloody likely._

_KJ (8:30 AM): Swan, something's come up. It's complicated but it might take me a little longer to get up to Maine._

Emma's jaw tightened. The taxi had arrived and Mary Margaret took her by one arm as she tried to text and grab her bags at the same time.

_Swan (8:34 AM): Complicated, eh? Sounds __intriguing. You know there are easier ways to get out of hastily made plans. _

_KJ (8:37 AM): I'm not trying to get out of anything, love. Nothing's changed. I just have something I have to take care of. We'll talk in the security line, ok, I'm on my way. Keep your phone on._

Emma felt butterflies flutter around in her stomach and she wasn't sure it had anything to do with how uncomfortable security had gotten these days, but she redirected her focus to Mary Margaret as they joined the line to get into the terminal. The line inched along and Emma found her focus wavering to the crowd of people rushing through the terminal. They must have been between the more major flights because the line was not as long as she was expecting. Perhaps he wouldn't make it before they passed security?

_KJ (8:54 AM): Taxi just dropped me off. Where are you?_

___Swan (8:54 AM): Still in line, but it's moving fast for once. Might want to hurry. _

_____KJ (8:57 AM): On location, love. I don't see you. _

Emma didn't need to respond, she could see him through the crowd now but instead of trying to catch his attention through the crowd she texted him back.

___Swan (8:57 AM): On your 8, Jones._

He turned and his eyes scanned the line for a moment before coming to rest on her. In a moment he reached her side.

"Caught you."

"Did you now?" Emma retorted with a smile.

"Can we speak privately for a moment?" He asked, turning apologetic eyes to Mary Margaret. Emma nodded and left her bag with her mother as Killian took her arm and led her away. When they reached the side of the hall he spun her abruptly and kissed her. Emma was surprised at first but after the shock wore off she let one hand drift up around his neck.

When he pulled away though, she looked confused. "That felt like goodbye, Jones. What is going on."

"You don't know yet? I guess you wouldn't, they wouldn't need you to testify technically."

She removed her hand from the back of his neck to his jaw forcing him to look at her. His eyes were red-rimmed and dark circles told her he hadn't slept.

"Tell me."

"They found him, Emma. The one who killed her. They tested the paint. He'd painted over it but they could still get a sample of the original color."

"The color... aren't there a lot of cars all the same color."

"Fewer when it's a specialty paint job. But you're right. They'll never be able to prove it. Swan I have to stay in NY for a while longer. I have to see this done."

Emma's hand fell from his face and she caught Mary Margaret's eye behind him. The line was moving again. She had to go.

"It's the modern age, Killian. You can fly back to give your testimony." His jaw tightened and Emma flinched. "You're not talking about the case, are you?"

"He destroyed her. He killed my Milah. I can't let him get away with that."

Emma took a step back, "Oh my God."

"Emma listen to me-"

"No! No, I'm done listening to this. Do you even realize what you're saying," she hissed. "What do you want? My permission to kill a man because he might have killed your ex?" She knew she it sounded cruel. That she should talk more gently. _He was just angry... he wouldn't really..._

"Emma, love,-"

"I have to go Killian, the line is moving-" he caught her wrist as she tried to leave. She stopped but closed her eyes so she couldn't see it in his eyes. That_ he would... God, he would..._

"Emma, please, wait for me. I... I lo-""

"What is it in NY, 25 to life, Killian?" she interrupted coldly, pulling away and returning to Mary Margaret, her jaw clenched, praying her face was calm and collected. She heaved her bag on the belt and stepped into the x-ray scanner, not daring to turn around until she was on the other side. She could see out of the corner of her eye that he was still watching her but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Suddenly he darted forward reaching the other side of the security gate as Mary Margaret passed through. "Swan, please?"

But security personal were starting to make their way over to him. "Sir, please step away from the line," one of them said tersely.

Emma didn't look up, didn't look back. She took Mary Margaret's arm and they both made their way into the terminal.

"SWAN?"

It wouldn't be long before the sounds of the crowd drowned his cries from her hearing.

"Emma," Mary Margaret said quietly. "Emma what was that? What just happened?"

"I don't think he'll be coming to Maine, Mary Margaret." Emma said quietly.

"We could go back, let's go talk to him. I'm sure it's just a misun-"

"I'm not going back. Let's just go."

"Emma he's-"

"Please, mom."

The title seem to catch Mary Margaret off guard and she froze for a moment before wrapping an arm around her daughter. "It'll be all right, Emma."

* * *

Turns out TSA security personnel do not have a very good sense of humor. At least that's what Killian Jones discovered after during the second pat-down he couldn't resist commenting that he must have left his weapons in the other jacket. That brought on a third pat down. It was nearly noon before they finally released him with a 'stern warning.' (She'd be over halfway to Maine by now.)

Well that went well.

He'd spent half of the previous night almost calling Emma; the other half tracking down this Gold character. It was disturbingly easy to find an address which was currently written on the back of a business card in his pocket. She was right. Emma was right of course. Revenge was an end, not a beginning. He'd a digital profile searching for this man's address, an address written on a card in his pocket... This is it. Unless he wanted to live on the run (which honestly seemed a much more enjoyable pastime when he was writing about it...)

His phone rang and he glanced down rapidly, forgetting momentarily that the one person he wanted to talk to probably didn't have great reception. It was Ruby, (again,) and he hesitated before picking up.

"What Ruby?"

"There you are."

"Not really in a chatting mood right now, Red," he told her, handing the card with its hastily scrawled address to a taxi driver.

"Where are you?" Ruby asked.

"At the airport."

"Oh thank God."

"Leaving the airport. Emma's gone. And I don't think she wants much to do with me now."

"Killian, where are you going?"

"Just have to deal with something. I'll talk to you later."

"K-" he didn't hear the rest, hanging up the phone as the taxi pulled over to drop him off at his destination. It was an office address as far as Killian could tell. There was a coffee shop across the seat from the office and he turned for that building instead, settling in a seat next to the window. Would he be able to recognize the man from across the street. Who knew how old the picture was that Killian had seen on his company website ... His phone rang again and he ignored it. Ruby again...she has always been persistent.

He stood to order a drink glancing back out the window occasionally. They didn't know his usual here... in the end he ended up with hot chocolate. Why not. It was about as close as he was going to get to tasting her lips again anyway.

"Bloody hell, Ruby," he muttered when his phone buzzed again. This time he picked it up. "Are you going to make me turn off my phone?"

"No. Killian Jones, I am your best friend. We've been through a lot and I think after all this time I deserve to not be ignored!"

"This isn't about you Ruby."

"Of course it is."

"I'd love to hear the logic behind that one."

"Tell me where you are."

"Can't do that."

"I am standing outside your apartment door. If you don't tell me where you are I will break down your door, steal your computer and search through your internet history until I find you. Then I will track you down. Why not just tell me?"

"Maybe I deleted my search history?"

"Of course you didn't. You and technology don't get along. We both know you'd rather be writing on a typewriter...or like.. a stone tablet."

Killian smiled haf-heartedly. She wasn't wrong. He sighed and texted her the coffee shops address. Might as well save himself a door repair.

"Thank you. You better be there when I get there Jones."

He was. And it was almost worth it to see her hover for a split second between hugging him and hitting him. She eventually decided on both. She crashed into him punching his shoulder then hugging him then punching him again. Killian couldn't help but laugh.

"It's not funny, Killian. I wasn't sure if the next time I saw you was going to be through bars."

"Well it turns out to kill a man you do have to find him first." Killian chuckled and Ruby punched his shoulder again.

Killian clenched his jaw. "He'll get away with it you know. I'm not an idiot, luv, this trial is a farce. They'll never be able to prove it."

"Perhaps because he didn't do it."

"A court of law is required to believe that there could be another man in this city prone to hit and runs in car with a highly customized paint job. I'm not."

"So that's it? You'll just let him ruin your life?"

"He already has," Killian hissed. "Bloody Hell, Ruby, he murdered her. Do you know how long I sat in that car with her? Thinking that help was coming but it wasn't? Because he couldn't even call in a tip that he had just left someone dying in an empty street. If we had at least not taken the scenic route we might have had a chance. But I... I wanted to get out of the city... see the stars. I don't even know how long it was before someone came..."

"I know Killian. I know , but if you do this you let him end your life too. Just a couple days ago you were happy... hopeful... you were going to Maine and-"

"And now she's gone too."

Ruby rubbed her temple with one hand. "A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets."

"You stole that from my book," Killian muttered.

"Well I figure if you won't listen to me maybe you'll listen to yourself. What is it you want, Killian Jones?" She stood to go and Killian furrowed his eyebrows.

"So that's it? Little pep talk and then you leave me to my own devices."

"I know you Jones. That and I'm already an hour late for work."

He pulled out his phone again to call Emma, knowing the chances of her picking up were pretty slim. Turns out he was right about that too, he thought, hanging up when her voicemail picked up. Staring out the window at the building across the street he suddenly saw someone come out of the building. Him. Gold. The man was wearing a suit. A bloody costume to pretend he wasn't a monster. Killian clenched his fist. His hot chocolate was cold by now and he tossed what was left of it in the trash as he left the shop.

* * *

The flight was uneventful. Aside from the constant impulse to check her phone, which she had turned off. If she turned it on would she have a message from Killian, apologizing and explaining why she wasn't enough? Her stomach clenched. Would she have to testify against him...he had practically told her that he intended to kill a man. Should she have done something to stop him?

Mary Margaret chatted pleasantly throughout the flight but Emma wasn't sure she could remember most of what she had said. Before she knew it Mary Margaret was taking her arm gently. "Time to get off, hunny. We're here."

I didn't take them long to collect their baggage, and soon they were waiting outside for David to pick them up. When he pulled up he smiled at Emma. "Your chariot awaits, ladies."

"Isn't he just such a Prince Charming," Mary Margaret teased him and David kissed her on the nose in response, grinning as though she'd made a hilarious joke.

"Don't you forget it, Snow White."

Emma chuckled awkwardly, _Fantastic... my parents are flirting. It turns out you're never old enough to not find that awkward._

Fortunately she didn't have long to consider that line of thought before Mary Margaret began chattering happily about all of the things they had to show her. Emma sighed, clearly Mary Margaret was trying to distract her from the scene at the airport. It wasn't working of course, and the pain of that betrayal gnawed at her. But she was trying... and that was nice. She's never had a mother before to try to make her feel better when something hurt, and in spite of everything Emma couldn't help but smile when she was asked in a very serious tone whether she wanted to go see the cryptozoology museum.

Emma laughed, "cryptozoology?"

Mary Margaret shrugged, "I dunno I think it has something to do with yeti's... why not. Stranger things have happened."

"Or maybe just lunch?" Emma suggested.

"Lunch it is!" David burst in, giving his wife a look that said 'really?' as clearly as words.

Mary Margaret sighed, "you two don't let me have any fun."

* * *

**AN: Sorry to my super nice guest reviewers: I don't want to fuel the fire by letting any one else see a couple *cough* not so nice messages so I've turned on review moderation. Won't change anything except that it might take longer for your reviews to show up. **

**As always, constructive criticism is welcomed, hate will be ignored and deleted. Have a good day! :)**

**I know that chapter wasn't super fluffy... :P... For people that haven't read my other stuff, might I suggest reading some fluff in the meantime :P Like u****mmmm... here we go. two shot from a while back ...(s/10131513/1/Breaking-and-Entering) or you can dive into the short stories - spinning yarns ( s/10213620/1/Spinning-Yarns) Lots of happy ending's in that compilation! **

**Good luck surviving tonight, see ya on the other side.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Recap:**

Emma laughed, "cryptozoology?"

Mary Margaret shrugged, "I dunno I think it has something to do with yeti's... why not. Stranger things have happened."

"Or maybe just lunch?" Emma suggested.

"Lunch it is!" David burst in, giving his wife a look that said 'really?' as clearly as words.

Mary Margaret sighed, "you two don't let me have any fun."

* * *

"So Emma," David said, "Mary Margaret said you don't have to be at work until tomorrow right?"

"I guess not, why?"

"Your mother and I were thinking perhaps you'd like to see where we live," he said, "It's not too far outside the city and it beats the cryptozoology museum."

They piled back into the car in about 20 minutes later they were leaving the city.

"Where are we going?" she finally asked when after another 30 minutes, she was thoroughly confused.

"We did warn you it was outside the city!" Mary Margaret said with a smile, "but we're almost there."

"If you're trying to kidnap me I feel the need to warn you that I am armed with pepper spray."

"Is that all?" David teased, "we're going to have to do something about that."

"Look-" Mary Margaret burst in, pointing to a cheery sign that said; _Welcome to StoryBrooke._

"Storybrooke?" Emma asked skeptically, "Really?"

"Whoever built this place must have had a sense of humor." Mary Margaret answered.

"Or not," David said, continuing when Mary Margaret shot him a glare. "Come on, who's seen a city planner with a sense of humor?"

As they drove Emma looked around, the streets were almost empty. Nothing like New York...nothing even like Portland. "Where is everyone?"

"Welcome to Maine," David responded.

"How many people live in this town anyway, where's your Starbucks?"

Mary Margaret laughed, "We don't have one. I don't think Starbucks even knows this town is here."

David parked the car and Emma stepped out. The streets were quiet and she couldn't see more than a few people wandering around in any direction. They even walked differently than in New York. In New York walking that slow would get you trampled to death. _Maine is going to take some getting used to,_ she thought

"Come on in, we'll show you our place!" Mary Margaret said excitedly.

The apartment was cozy in its own way, and much more spacious than what she was used to in New York. That part would be a nice change, Emma admitted as she checked out the building. The brick walls gave it a rustic air, and there was white wood everywhere.

"It's nice, but umm... do you have a bathroom I could use?"

"Of course, go ahead," David said.

Emma pointed hesitantly down a hallway, "that way... or-"

Mary Margaret nodded with a bright smile. "Would you like some tea to warm up, Emma. It's a little brisk outside."

"I thought you were going to show me the town?"

"There's not too much in the town, we'll have time after tea."

Emma shrugged, "I've never really liked tea.. but I bet you have cocoa?" Mary Margaret nodded again.

When Emma got out of the bathroom Mary Margaret and David (her parents, Emma mentally corrected herself) were seated together on a love seat. His arm was around her shoulder and they were quietly whispering together. Mary Margaret jumped to her feet when Emma entered bustling off to the kitchen to grab her cocoa.

It was warm and comforting but when she took a sip... it wasn't quite right. It was different. Different than the way Ruby made it... She shook her head. She couldn't look back now. "So this is your place?" Emma asked awkwardly, it's umm...it's just you two? I mean aren't you the two and a half kids and a white picket fence type?" Emma colored as she realized her blunder... "I mean other... I mean any other kids- sorry this is all just a little strange."

"It's ok, Emma," David told her gently, we don't expect you to just pretend everything is normal. This is strange, but it'll get better."

Emma smiled slightly, "And how do you know that?" she asked.

"We've an ... optimistic streak in this family."

"Must have skipped a generation," Emma mumbled into her cocoa.

* * *

Killian paused outside the door of the shop. Several people ran into him and he vaguely heard some rather uncreative expletives but he didn't pull his gaze from him. Just outside the building across the street, the man that killed Milah. That could have killed Emma.

He was muttering to himself as he waited for something... a cab, perhaps?

_This could be my only chance._

Killian stepped forward, and was greeted by a car horn. He stumbled back again as the yellow cab flew by. Yellow like her bug. An absurd extravagance in this city, useless you're on the outskirts as they were. And even there it requires some guts to get through the sea of yellow cabs. She'd need her car in Maine though. He would need one too when he...

When he what? Once he finished beating a man to death on the streets of New York, then hopped a flight to Maine to sweep Emma off her feet? 25 years later when he got out of prison.

_She had her parents. She won't be alone now... she doesn't need me. _

_I'll never see her again. _

_Just one more man she knew; once upon a time before he decided something else was more important._

"Bloody hell," he muttered under his breath, flinging out his hand and hailing a cab. "The airport," he shot out as he slid into the seat, pulling out his phone to purchase his ticket, he didn't even bother to look back. Before he was even able to finish the transaction his phone buzzed with a new message.

_Swan (1:21 PM): Killian? _

In his haste to reply he nearly deleted the message before he'd managed to respond.

_KJ (1:21 PM): Emma! Thank God, I feared you'd blocked me!_

_Swan (1:21 PM): This isn't Emma. Sorry, It's actually Mary Margaret._

_KJ (1:22 PM): __Why do you have Emma's phone?_

_KJ (1:22 PM): Is she okay?_

_Swan (1:22 PM): __I kind of stole her phone while she was in the bathroom. _

___Swan (1:22 PM): __She's fine. Angry, upset and hurt of course, but I suspect you can do something about that can't you, Killian? _

_KJ (1:23 PM): Mary Margaret, tell her I'm about to catch a flight. I'll be there in a couple of hours._

_Swan (1:23 PM): Yes, I know. But I don't think she's going to want to talk to you right now. So I'm going to send you an address._

_KJ (1:24 PM): Not to sound ungrateful, but why are you helping me? __And how did you know I was coming to Maine? I only just decided that myself._

_Swan (1:24 PM): I have to go Killian, she'll be back any minute._

His phone buzzed once more with an address. There was a street address but no city name. No zip code. Instead there was just a string of coordinates.

"Well that's odd," he muttered. He managed to get a seat on the next flight and barely made it through security in time to catch it. (Fortunately the friends he had made a couple hours earlier were no longer around...) The flight was hardly over an hour long but to Killian it seemed to last centuries. By the time he got off the plane he had a rental car lined up and a set of coordinates plugged into the map on his phone. And so, with no idea where he was actually going, he got behind the wheel and began to close the distance between himself and Emma Swan.

At some point he needed to decide what he was going to say. And given the fact that the GPS showed him rapidly closing in on the destination... It had better be soon. But he couldn't focus on explanations. All he could manage to hear was the voice in his head urging him on continually; _Almost there. Hurry. _

When he reached his destination he pounded on the wooden door, not even hesitating to decide what he was going to say if it open. He'd hardly time to consider the thought that he had probably just frightened whoever was inside when the door swung open. A man stood in front of him blocking the entryway.

"Killian!" the man said and Killian raised his eyebrows.

"Have we met?"

"Oh.. no... Mary Margaret told me about you." He stepped aside to let Killian in and behind him Killian saw...

"Swan!" he said, relief evident in his eyes. A weight lifted from his shoulders. She was not lost, there was still a chance.

Emma shot to her feet, "What the hell is he doing here?" she cried. Mary Margaret hurried over, ushering Killian inside and closing the door behind him. "You did this?" Emma turned her glare on Mary Margret. "Why would you invite him here? He was going to kill a man. He was going to kill someone and go off to jail, why would I want to be caught up in that?"

"But he didn't! Emma, I know this seems mad, but you have to listen to him."

Even Killian looked rather surprised by the unexpected endorsement but he quickly turned back to Emma. "Emma, I didn't... I just, I caught the next available flight."

"I don't care, Mary Margaret why are you -" she was cut off when Killian stepped forward.

"I didn't hurt him, Emma. God, I wanted to. Desperately, but -"

"What do you want from me, Killian? A sticker? I don't think they make 'Congratulations for not committing murder today' stickers."

"I thought I had to, love. I thought vengeance was all I was good for. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't give up my chance with you. Even though it may already be gone. I need to take that chance."

Emma's mouth dropped open and Killian used her surprise to his advantage, taking her hand. "You were going to leave me behind," she stuttered, "just like everyone else."

"I'm so sorry, Emma. Sorry that I didn't realize it immediately. But I know now."

Emma was watching him carefully, looking for the lie. "Swear to me, Jones," she said coldly, her jaw tight. "Swear to me that you did not harm him, and that you never will. I'll not be one of those saps I see at the prison visiting their murdering lovers... Or worse; in there with them."

His hand tightened on hers. "I swear it, Emma Swan. I did no harm to the man nor will I."

"You're not lying?" It wasn't really a question, more a realization.

Emma relaxed slightly but Killian wasn't done. "I'm not. I'd go to the end of the world for you, love, if you'd just let me. I swear, I'll not leave you behind."

Emma leaned forward, pressing her lips lightly to Killian's. It was only supposed to be a brief kiss. The seal of a promise accepted. The moment their lips touched, however, heat spread rapidly out towards Emma's fingertips. It didn't stop there, though, and Emma gasped as a wave of energy spread through the room in a split second. Her mind grew suddenly... too crowded as though someone was yelling at her, trying to break through inside her own mind. Then a cloud lifted and she stared at Killian in shock. He was different, everything but that look in his eyes that was always the same.

_There's not a day that will go by that I won't think of you. _

"Hook?" she asked in a tone of amazement.

Killian's face must have mirrored her own. Shock, confusion and a small smile gradually spreading across his features. His mouth opened like he intended to say something, then he changed his mind, shaking his head and pulling her into a tight embrace.

"I thought you were lost to me, lass. We were to go back... I carved that moment on the town line into my mind, fearing it might well be the last I'd see you." He pulled away slightly, leaning forward to lean his forehead against hers.

"Killian?" David's voice called from behind her, "Do you-"

Killian pulled away another inch and glanced over her shoulder, where David had stepped forward. "Mate, I... Sorry, I'm keeping your daughter from you." His words shook Emma out of her reverie and she spun, launching herself into David's arms, "Dad?"

"Oh Emma, you're back." Emma felt her mother come up behind her. "Mom, you... you two... you remembered? What happened? Why aren't you all in the Enchanted Forest?"

"Regina's curse, we don't know what happened but everything went wrong. Some of us stayed here in Storybrooke, unable to leave or remember. Just like the first time. Other's like you and Hook were scattered in this world. It's possible some may have even returned to the Enchanted Forest, we're really not sure. We didn't remember anything either until a couple weeks ago. We hoped you would come back to us when your father and I found each other again. But only those of us that remained in Storybrooke got our memories back."

"Where's Henry?"

"With Regina, just as you remember," her mother replied, "I don't think she meant to scatter everyone. If she did why would she take her own memories?"

"Magic is emotion," Emma muttered. "Henry. It was Henry. He's everything to Regina. Her magic couldn't force them apart... So the curse ... fragmented somehow. Mom... do you think he remembers?"

Mary Margaret shrugged, "There's only one way to find out."

Emma pulled out her phone but it was already buzzing before she could dial. "It's Regina, what do I do?"

"Answer it, love," Killian said. Emma had been carefully avoiding his gaze but now she saw he was grinning with a cheshire cat's smile.

"What if they don't remember?" she hesitated.

"Then we'll find away to make them remember. Another kiss, perhaps." Killian teased, his grin growing even wider. She punched him lightly as she answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Miss. Swan, hello, did you... have a safe flight?"

"Yes, no problems. I'm ... visiting my parents in Storybrooke."

"Storybrooke?"

Suddenly a voice called from the distance, "I want to talk to her!"

"Henry wants to speak with you for a moment," Emma's chest tightened and she felt her legs go weak. Killian wrapped an arm around her though, and she leaned into him gratefully.

"Wmm?" She heard a mumbled word and loud background noise as Regina handed the phone to Henry.

"Henry? Kid?"

"...Mom? Where are you?"

Relief washed over Emma and she thought she might have collapsed if Killian hadn't tightened his grip on her waist.

"I'm in Storybrooke, are you still in New York?"

"We're packing now!"

"Good, I'll see you soon. I love you, kid."

"Love you too, mom."

The line clicked off and Emma sighed in relief. "They remember. They're coming back."

Killian was glancing down at his phone now too _(he had a phone... was that weird. No? Maybe?)_

"Ruby just texted me," he said, angling the phone at Emma so she could see the message.

_Red (3:47 PM): It was you, wasn't it? You dirty pirate, we felt that kiss all the way in NY! Granny and I are packing up shop. Storybrooke must be having a severe lasagna draught. Be home tonight._

Suddenly Killian's grin faltered, "Gold... I almost killed him. But it couldn't have been him." Killian said, "He's gone. We watched him die. Didn't we?"

"It wasn't him?" Emma mused, trying to think back through the haze of mingled memories... trying to sort out the new memories from the old. "I remember him, Killian, the one who hit me. I thought he was drunk or crazy, he kept talking to himself but ... it was him, Killian. I know it was him...We have to tell Belle and Neal."

Mary Margaret shook her head, "they're not in Storybrooke. Maybe they'll come back to us now?"

"How did you know me coming back to Storybrooke would break the curse?" Emma asked, and she felt Killian stiffen next to her. _  
_

"When your mother and I found each other again in spite of the memory loss... it broke the curse within Storybrooke." David explained. "Of course we immediately tried to find you. At first we were just trying to bring you home, Emma. We hoped that might restore your memories. But we found Killian first, at the Rabbit Hole, the day of your accident."

"Bloody hell, you were there?" Killian asked.

Charming smiled, "I had a feeling you wouldn't remember our little chat. You owe me for half a bottle of rum, by the way _mate." _

"We realized ... well we suspected..." Mary Margaret flushed. "We continued trying to figure out a way to get you to Storybrooke, but we thought maybe you'd be able to break the curse yourselves."

Killian's grip around Emma's waist tightened but she still didn't look at him. "It didn't work though," Killian said softly.

"What do you mean," Mary Margaret asked.

Now it was Killian's turned to color and he fell silent. "I kissed Hook." Emma filled in, "in New York... and nothing happened."

"Storybrooke is a special place, made from magic..." Snow said softly, "We were hoping that if we brought you home-"

"So that's why you were trying to get me to bring Killian with me to Maine. Do you have any idea how weird this is?"

David laughed. "_You_ think that's weird? I'm supposed to shoot men that try to kiss my daughter... But I saw him that night, Emma-"

Emma slipped out of Killian's grasp and hurried to the window, glancing out over the town to give herself a moment of privacy.

"Still," David commented to Killian, tone lighter, "I'm still not convinced I shouldn't punch you... just on principle."

"You didn't see me the next morning, mate. That half a bottle of rum I, apparently, owe you did more damage than a right hook possibly could."

"The town is so empty..." Emma interrupted, "how many were left here?"

"It's been really quiet around here. Of course we didn't realize how strange it was until we broke the curse a couple weeks ago."

"I suppose we have to let Sydney out of the cell now," David said thoughtfully.

Emma turned and raised an eyebrow, "Why is Sydney in a cell, Dad?"

Before David could answer Killian let out a bark of laughter. "Really, _Charming? _I think I've had a good effect on the law enforcement in this town."

Emma's eyes flicked from her father to Killian and back again but David began to flush slightly. "He didn't remember... I didn't really have any other choice." Emma raised her eyebrows questioningly to her father and he sighed. "You know that job... in Portland that opened up so suddenly?"

Emma's jaw dropped, "Dad... you didn't?"

"I tried to explain the situation, but Sydney was one of the ones that ended up scattered in the world without magic. He had no recollection of Storybrooke. So... I might have... temporarily... invited him to stay in the storybrooke sheriff's station's bed and breakfast. When he didn't show up to work they needed a replacement fast. I was hoping it would be you. Fortunately for us, Regina did the rest." Mary Margaret took David's arm and pulled him towards the door.

"Come on David, Sydney will be wanting to have that chat with us."

Her parents left the room and Emma was left gazing out the window. The back of her neck prickled. She knew Killian was still watching her.

"Emma? I've developed an unusual aptitude for patience in my very long life... but perhaps you might warn me... How long, exactly, do you plan on pretending that didn't just happen?"

Emma sighed, leaning her forehead against the chilly window as a small smile tugged at her lips. "Just... give me three minutes," she said, not turning around.

She heard a light chuckle and the rustling of fabric as he settled down on the couch to wait. "I think I can handle three minutes."

There were already people returning to the town, the one's that hadn't been sent far. She tried to pick out people she knew, tried to re-center herself. Storybrooke. She had a family... and this is where her family was.

It wasn't even the full three minutes before she finally pulled herself from the window and turned back to Killian. He still had that insufferable smirking grin on his face and she groaned in exasperation dropping heavily onto the couch. "What Killian? What is it?"

"Oh come now, love, I'm allowed to be elated. We were dropped into the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world, you and I, with no past and no ties to each other. And we still found each other. We broke a curse; returned their memories. You and I, Swan..."

"So what now, some cosmic game of spin the bottle has determined that we're supposed to be together? So that's... that's just it..?"

Killian's smile fell instantly, "it's not a ... designation love. No one forced it." He pulled out his phone pressed a couple buttons and handed it to her. He had pulled up their messaging history on his phone. Every message, light and teasing. Friendly... and maybe something more. "No one made this happen but us, Swan. You know that, you lived it."

"God, Killian, it feels like just yesterday we were getting back from Neverland and you were all going to be gone. I was going to be alone again. But-"

"You were supposed to have your lad," Killian finished softly. "You shouldn't have had to be alone again. I'm sorry, lass, I promised I'd think of you every day... that I'd find you. I didn't... But I knew, somehow, the moment I met you in New York. I knew-"

Emma shook her head, "that's not the point."

"So what is the point? Do you intend to simply pretend this didn't happen?" he asked, pulling his phone back and dropping it into his pocket again.

"No, I don't want that-"

"What _do_ you want, Emma?"

"I wan't my son back."

"And you shall have him." Killian said with a sigh, shifting to stand.

"Killian, wait-"

He froze and waited as requested. Still she hesitated; not knowing what to say. What was she supposed to say? "I'm sorry," she finally said, "I'm not trying to forget. I just... I need to see my son. I feel so... lost right now Killian, and I just need to see my son."

Killian nodded. He moved closer and when she didn't pull away he slipped an arm around her. She leaned into him and the relief was almost palpable. "I know the feeling, love. You're not the only one with confused memories... How much of it was real, Swan? I remember her dying. I remember holding her in a smoldering car wreck that never happened. I remember so many nights in that condo trying to sleep and not knowing if it was the pain of a missing hand or a missing heart keeping me awake. That one was real enough... but it wasn't in New York. It was several lifetime's ago in a different realm. That curse took me right to the edge of despair, Emma, but you brought me back, again."

"I didn't do anything."

"You did the _same_ thing. You showed me it was possible to care for another person again. How long has it been real, do you suppose? I mean... I certainly wasn't in any car accident."

"I don't know. Something like a year if we didn't... loose any time between here and New York."

"Do you remember how you got to New York?"

She shook her head. "I'd always been there. I thought I had anyway..." Suddenly Killian laughed, reaching into his pocket. "What's so funny, Killian?" she interrupted. In his right hand he held his cell phone.

"I've learned a lot in the last year," he commented and Emma started laughing too, watching Killian examine the phone carefully. "I know how to use this, and the television. Oh God, Emma, I've seen Peter Pan. You were bloody right, perms are a bad bad thing."

"I did warn you," Emma teased.

"And look at me," He made a confused gesture at his apparel. Most of my clothes are made out of this horrid material that takes an inordinate amount of time to dry. These things are considered practical? Spilling a glass of water makes the things wet for hours. What use would they be at sea?"

When Emma finally caught her breath she turned to Killian. His face was beaming in the reflected light of her laughter. "It's a good look for you, Jones, maybe you should keep the jeans."

"As the lady insists," he whispered with a small smile, pressing a light kiss to her cheek.

"Killian?"

"Mmm?"

"The kiss... Do you think it really means..."

Killian tightened his grip slightly. "I hope it means that you feel as I do. I assure you, love, I've never felt so light. Not in centuries. Not ever."

"Killian?" she asked again.

"Yes?"

"I think you could have done better than that romance you sent me! And this does _not_ get you off the hook for your next deadline!"

* * *

**Haha, so since very early on in the story I knew things were going to end up back here in storybrooke at the end of 3A... I did warn you I'm big on figuring out how things could potentially fit into canon. And canon means magic. Hope it was a good surprise. I know several of you had your suspicions... how close were you? Anyone starting to think it might have been a curse? There were certainly a few hints that I know some of you picked up on but it was certainly subtle...**

**If you didn't catch on that things were a little off than congratulations! You get to experience (second hand) the shock that comes from having your world turned upside down in a heartbeat.**

**I wanted to try something different then your standard AU which moves ... predictably. Same characters ... different situations... drama... kiss... coffee... the end. I want to see what happens when two people, shaped by their experiences in this world get thrust back into a world with magic. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Recap**

"Killian?" she asked again.

"Yes?"

"I think you could have done better than that romance you sent me! And this does _not_ get you off the hook for your next deadline!"

* * *

"Is that a joke, darling?"

"No! Well yes, but no."

"You going to turn in your gun and keep your job with the publisher?"

Emma sighed... "Probably won't have time to fit that in between all the madness that come through this town. But still, I put a lot of time into editing that book! You're still going to publish it! False memories or not I was good at my job, thank you very much."

"Do I even still have a publisher?"

"What do you mean?"

"It was a curse, Swan... And it's now broken... what happens to everything. Everything that wasn't real and now is?"

"Well Red said she was packing up Granny's, right? The one in New York. So the place didn't cease to exist."

"They built that place themselves, in the past year," Killian mused, pulling out his phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking myself up, of course...Ah... well that's disappointing."

"What!" She asked and he handed her the phone. "The books you wrote before the year..."

"I didn't write them. Now that that's gone I seem to have lost my international reputation. That's probably for the best."

"This last one though... it was real."

"Indeed. Too real at times. I'm not sure that memory curse worked as well as it should have. My past was leaking in. God knows I fell for you hard and fast. I knew, somewhere deep down I knew you were … different."

Emma flushed and looked away, "That's just because I chased you down a fire escape in heels," she joked.

"We do always seem to get off to a rather abrasive start don't we… but you didn't tie me to a tree and leave me to die this time. It's progress. By the next curse our meeting may well be cordial."

"Maybe we could just avoid curses for a while?"

"It's good to have goals in life, no matter how unlikely…"

Emma rolled her eyes, "Your confidence is overwhelming."

"I'd tell you that I'll always find you but I think you might hit me."

"You'd be right, Hook."

"Ah..." He leaned back holding out his left hand and it's false attachment. "You know I'd never thought I'd miss being called that. Where do you suppose the curse swept that particular attachment?"

Emma shrugged, "Your ship?"

"Perhaps. You know, love, you may not have noticed but we seem to have ourselves a bit of a quiet moment -"

Unfortunately the sentence went unfinished, interrupted by the ringing of her phone.

Killian sighed melodramatically as she pulled it from her pocket.

"Hello, Regina... is everything ok?"

"Not remotely. With all of the tact I can possibly feign, I must ask... do you have any idea why the hell Rumpelstiltskin is still alive and wandering around the streets of New York?"

"What is he doing?"

"Haven't a clue. He pounded on my door demanding to know what I did with his wheel. It didn't seem wise to use magic in front of a street full of New Yorkers so I kept Henry away from the door until he wandered off."

"How is he back Regina... we were there. We watched him die."

"Yes well, apparently it didn't stick."

"And you don't know anything about why the curse went wrong?"

"It has of course always been my dearest ambition to be exceptionally good at managing a bunch of whiny editors."

"Perhaps not, but you certainly didn't want to leave Henry." Emma paused for a moment but Regina didn't speak. "What about the manuscript, Regina?" Emma said, trying a less dangerous topic of conversation.

"_Really_, that's what you're worried about right now?"

"No, it's just... Hello? ... Regina?" Emma grimaced, "Well... that went well," she grumbled.

"So he really is back," Killian muttered distractedly as Emma sank next to him on the couch. "I saw him... but I can't say I fully believed it."

"This must be... strange for you. Him being back?"

"I wasn't happy to see him dead, I've changed that much at least. Still, I must admit a sense of... I don't know. Relief, perhaps, when he fell." He shook his head and leaned back into the couch. "You must think me a horror."

Emma leaned over, dropping her head lightly on his shoulder. "No one is asking you to like the guy, Killian. I get it."

"And yet...You saw the look on Belle's face. And Baelfire's... Where do you think they are?"

"Let's find out." Emma pulled out her phone and dialed Neal's number.

_We're sorry you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service If you feel you have reached this recording in error please check the number and try your call again_

"I'm guessing not New York," Emma said, hanging up. "We have to find them."

"I don't happen to have a stash of magic beans lying around, lass, nor the desire to search through endless realms with no idea where to start."

"The Enchanted Forest? That's where Regina was trying to send you... maybe they did get sent there?"

"It doesn't matter lass, crossing worlds is no easy feat... there's-"

"We have to do something!" Emma snapped, pulling away, "I'll not leave Neal in a world he hated just because you don't want him to complicate things!"

Killian's jaw tightened briefly but he didn't speak for a moment, simply watching her curiously. "I promised you once no tricks. I had hoped by now you'd a higher regard for my word. We will find him, love, but snapping at me will not bring him back to you."

Emma winced but before she could respond the door swung open. Her parents reentered the room with Belle right behind them. "You saw him?" she burst out, pushing past Mary Margaret toward Emma.

"Nice to see you too," Emma replied.

"I'm sorry... I just... Rumple... he's back. But I don't know where he is, I couldn't find him. Your parents said he's in this world? Where is he? How long has he been here?"

"Whoa, Belle, slow down. One question at a time. Yes, we saw him, but I have no idea how long he's been in New York.. Our memories are... a bit suspect these days. Where have you been?"

"The Enchanted Forest, until a few minutes ago when a group of us were dropped back into Storybrooke. Rumple wasn't there though, I haven't seen him since he saved him. She took his dagger, took him."

Killian stood so Belle could sit, removing himself to lean against the wall. "Fewer pronouns would serve us well, lass. You were with the C-... Rumpelstiltskin?" he asked.

She nodded her gratitude and sank down on the couch. "Neal and I... we wanted to save him. And we did, but she didn't tell us the price. Rumple came back... but it was going to cost Neal his life. Rumple saved him, I think, but Neal he just... he disappeared."

Emma looked confused, "What do you mean disappeared? Did you ask Gold what happened?"

"The Wicked Witch... she took his dagger. I haven't seen Rumple since she ordered him to kill me. I ran. I should have stayed. He wouldn't have hurt me."

Killian shook his head "He wouldn't have had a choice in the matter. You were right to run, lass. Bravery be damned, he'd not thank you for having your death on his soul."

"Wait," Emma broke in, "you mean..._the_ Wicked Witch? Like, the green-skinned, evil-cackling, and-your-little-dog-too Wicked Witch?"

"I don't know about the dog," Belle answered, "but her complexion was a bit... unusual."

Emma sighed, "She's real too? Really?"

"Says the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming?" Killian teased.

"We have to find Rumple," Belle said pleadingly.

"It sounds as though he may find us, and sooner than we might hope," Killian sighed, "The man was not in his mind when we last saw him, but perhaps his mind is not the one we should be worried about."

"What do you mean? If she's so... wicked then why hasn't she done anything yet."

"The first time around the curse prevented the town from being seen from the outside." Mary Margaret said, "Perhaps it was protected by the same enchantment this time."

Emma laughed, "Are you telling me that we're going to have flying monkeys raining down on us any minute now?"

Charming shrugged, "If Rumple is being controlled by the Wicked Witch... and he's here. Why shouldn't she be here too?"

"Maybe Rumple escaped from her?" Belle asked hopefully.

Killian raised his eyebrows. "Apologies, lass, but last I saw him the Dark One hardly seemed capable of getting across a street without being hit by a car. Much less escaping a witch who holds his dagger."

Belle's face fell and Mary Margaret put a comforting arm around her. "We'll figure this out Belle. We'll find him. That's what we do... remember?"

* * *

**Sorry about the delay. I was stuck in the real world. They want me to work in order to get paid... it's rough :P ****I just wanted to update so you guys knew I hadn't forgotten about you. ****You're starting to notice some blending as we move back into things that mirror canon events.**

**Kind of an abrupt chapter ending because I haven't yet decided something, maybe you guys can help. I can clearly envision two ways of finishing this story. **

**The first is to tie up some loose ends and finish blending things back into canon in order to to fit this story into the approximately 1 year hiatus period. If this feels like a natural stopping point to you I will take no ****offense, as that is in fact what I had originally planned for the story. **

**Option two requires more work from me, but could potentially be more interesting. I can continue with these slightly au characters and write their own way of dealing with the wicked witch. I had plenty of problems with the logic of the story that I would love to 'fix' ...Might be interesting to play with some of that before I draw this to a close. **

**Thoughts? Thanks in advance for your response. Writing is very much a learning experience for me and I appreciate your feedback. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Recap**

Charming shrugged, "If Rumple is being controlled by the Wicked Witch... and he's here. Why shouldn't she be here too?"

"Maybe Rumple escaped from her?" Belle asked hopefully.

Killian raised his eyebrows. "Apologies, lass, but last I saw him the Dark One hardly seemed capable of getting across a street without being hit by a car. Much less escaping a witch who possesses his dagger."

Belle's face fell and Mary Margaret put a comforting arm around her. "We'll figure this out Belle. We'll find him. That's what we do... remember?"

* * *

Granny's soon filled with the newly returned inhabitants of Storybrooke, and though the place was dusty and without the aroma of warm lasagna, it gave everyone a fleeting sense of normalcy. Charming found Grumpy who (after being assured that there would not be any bacon in Granny's for a couple hours) helped him to sweep the forest and collect any residents who had gone astray.

Storybrooke's population was unusually adept at recovering from curses by now and most simply settled back into their lives as though nothing had happened. And then there was Grumpy. Who had not yet stopped ranting about 'another inconsiderate magician turning our lives upside down.'

Emma waited at Granny's with her mother (does that ever stop sounding strange), trying to keep everyone calm and find out if anyone knew anything about this Wicked Witch that may or may not be on her way into town. Or... that was the theory anyway.

Her mother was doing a wonderful job of that, even Hook was making the rounds, talking to people to find out what they knew. Emma just sat staring at the door, counting down the minutes and checking her watch every couple minutes.

"-hard tack from the hold."

Emma jumped and Killian raised his hand, "Whoa, there. You all right, Swan?"

"Sorry ... What did you say?"

"I said that if Granny and Ruby don't get back here soon I'm going to have to break out the hard tack from the hold. You know. The hold... of my ship. Because I have a ship."

"Yes? and?"

"Come now, let me have a little fun. I spent a year writing adventures on the high seas, never realizing what a precious treasure I'd lost. I fully intend to make up for lost time"

Emma glanced up and the arch of one eyebrow gave her the sudden impression that he wan't talking about his ship at all. A bell rang indicating someone coming into Granny's and when Emma looked up Ruby and Granny were making their way into the diner. Ruby pushed her way towards them and Killian stood up to meet her, laughing as she slammed into his arms hugging him tightly before turning and hugging Emma too. When she pulled away Snow had joined the group and was watching her with a perplexed expression. Ruby broke away and hugged Snow too.

"Apparently some things have changed," Snow commented when she pulled away, "I don't remember you and Hook being quite so ... close."

"It's been a busy year," Red said with a smile, "we've been through a lot together." She paused, a look of confusion crossing onto her face.

Before she could say anything more Killian dropped an arm onto her shoulder. "Nothing's changed, Red. The family tree is so convoluted in this town, I doubt anyone will mind that you picked up an elder brother during the curse." His gaze sliped over her shoulder and landed on something behind her. "Except perhaps him," Killian finished.

Ruby turned to see Whale coming into the diner.

"You be sure to remind him that if he's not the perfect gentleman I will put my hook through his eye," Killian muttered, "you know...as soon as I find it again, anyway."

Ruby grined, pulling free and making her way across the diner to the doctor.

"He's joking right?" Snow muttered to Emma who just shrugged.

"I'm kind of the sherif again Hook, might want to keep your thoughts to yourself on subjects like impaling people."

"Will you put me in handcuffs again if I don't?" he asked and Mary Margaret stood abruptly.

"I'm just going to ... go elsewhere."

"No... he just meant... because of the hospital thing-" she turned her glare on Killian.

"Thanks for that. Now my mother thinks I have a thing for restraints."

Killian grinned, "Whatever you prefer love, you'll find I'm quite flexible."

She considered hitting him, but at that moment the bell above the door rang again. Emma froze.

"Henry," she whispered. Then she stood and called out, "HENRY!"

Henry finally picked her out in the crowd and darted to her side hugging her tightly.

"I missed you, kid."

"No you didn't. You didn't remember me."

"Doesn't mean I didn't miss you," Emma said and her eyes were drawn to Snow who had caught sight of Henry and was making her way back over to them. This is what it was like for them, she realized. To miss something you didn't know was lost. To regret the time that you can never get back.

"We have a problem," a cold voice broke through the reunion and Regina appeared at the edge of the group.

"What is it," Snow asked.

"Our car was attacked on the way here." Regina responded.

"Some kind of flying creature," Henry put in excitedly, (a little more excited than Emma particularly liked.) "If it wasn't for Robin it might have broken our window!"

"Robin?" Emma asked and a man stepped forward.

"Robin of Locksley," he said, "The curse dropped me on the road just outside of town. Right place at the right time, I suppose," he glanced over at Regina, "Regina was kind enough to give me a ride back. I'd like to regroup with my men, I thought some of them might be here."

"Your men?" Emma said in an exasperated tone.

"His merry men!" Henry said, nodding enthusiastically while Emma rubbed her forehead in frustration. Last week she just needed to revise manuscripts and try not to oversleep.

"Indeed," Robin said, "We need to regroup if these creatures have followed us here."

"What do you mean followed you here?" Charming had returned to the diner while Emma wasn't looking and now he broke into the conversation.

"I've seen these before. They occasionally came into our camp to scavenge for scraps in the Enchanted Forest. They were an annoyance but never anything more. I've never seen them attack someone like that before. If I hadn't been there-"

"I would have been fine-" Regina scoffed, "I can handle myself without the assistance of a thief."

"A simple thank you would suffice," Robin retorted with a smile.

"So what's making them so violent now," Snow wondered out loud.

"They work for her," Belle said quietly from the next table. "If they're coming after people then she told them to. She's coming."

Charming turned back to Robin. "I suggest you find your men, Robin, it looks as though we may need them."

"In the meantime," Emma glanced at Henry, "We've got some catching up to do. What do you say we go see if Granny has any hot cocoa still lying around."

With Emma off scrounging for chocolate with Henry and Charming helping Robin gathering the Merry Men soon only Regina and Hook were left at the table.

Regina seemed perfectly willing to ignore him but Killian spoke up before she could leave.

"What now, Regina? You've never been very good at sharing your lad. Seems convenient that it worked out this way."

She shrugged, "I thought I was taking us all back to the Enchanted Forest."

"You sure you don't know what happened?"

"Magic can be unpredictable, Captain, since when are you an expert?" she spat.

"I'm not," Killian acknowledged, leaning back in his seat. "Still, you're the best suited to figure out what happened, being the resident expert."

"You used to be much better at flattery, Captain."

"If I was trying to flatter you, you would know it, my tempermental queen. I don't need to flatter you though, you'll help me regardless."

"And why is that?"

"You'll help me because if Henry learns you wouldn't assist me in finding his father… I think there are limits even to the lad's ability to forgive."

Regina raised her eyebrows, "Trying to reunite the happy family, pirate? How very sweet. But how would I know where to find Baelfire?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something. Perhaps a visit to the crocodile's shop would be of use?" He stood, "After you?"

Regina sighed and walked over to Emma and Henry. She said a few words to Henry and then left Granny's. Hook glanced over at Emma who seemed absorbed in conversation with Henry. _Here goes nothing_ he thought, following Regina out into the dark street, walking rapidly toward the Crocodile's shop.

When he arrived Regina was standing, hands raised facing the shop with an irritated look on her face.

"Problem, love?"

"It's different, I can't see the spell…"

Hook laughed, pulling something from his pocket. "Perhaps that's because this one requires a more traditional touch." He grasped one pin between his teeth and took the other in his good hand. After a moment there was a click. The door swung in and Killian dropped the pins back into his pocket.

"You're lucky that didn't turn you into a toad," Regina grumbled as she brushed past him. "Don't touch anything, you might not get so lucky twice." Killian wasted no time in ignoring her advice, picking up the first shiny bauble that caught his eye and examining it with a smirk. Regina rolled her eyes and made her way behind the counter.

"Fine but if you _do_ turn into a toad you better hope your princess is in the mood for a smooch, because I'm not fixing it...Ah... here." Ducking below the counter she reemerged with the globe they had used to find Henry in Neverland. "Come here, pirate."

"Need a hand, love?"

"The good one, if you please."

Killian held out his hand to Regina who grabbed it and pricked his finger on the top of the globe. "I don't like needles," she muttered with a shrug as the blood beaded up and dropped into the globe. The red swirled on the surface of the globe forming and dissolving in an unstable swirling landscape.

Regina's eyebrows furrowed and Killian glanced up at her, "What does that mean?"

"I think you know what it means," she retorted.

Killian stiffened, "No, you're doing something wrong. Perhaps it's because it's my blood, I've no magic in my blood... The bookworm, she said-"

"The bookworm may have seen him alive but the locator spell can't find him in this or any world. Come on pirate, don't try to pretend that doesn't just make your-"

"Enough. Do not finish that sentence or so help me-" suddenly the red streaks in the globe began to solidify. For a moment it resolved into a map of... here. _He's here? _Hook recognized the coastline. Then it was gone, a swirling vortex of red streaks again. "What the bloody hell was that," Killian exclaimed.

Regina looked perplexed and as they watched the map solidified again showing the briefest glimpse of a landscape before dissolving again.

"That was Storybrooke. He's in the west wood... why won't it stabilize?"

"I don't know, I've never seen it before." Regina said, "Maybe... maybe he's hurt. If he's injured or dying perhaps-"

Hook didn't wait for her to finish the sentence, he turned and sprinted for the door. He paused at the doorway just long enough to call back to Regina, "Get back to diner, if something's coming someone with magic should be with the lad." He slowed down just outside the door fumbling for his phone in his pocket.

_KJ (8:40 PM) : Western wood straight from end of main st 1/2 mile in 30 degrees n of w_

_Swan (8:43 PM) : What? What the hell is going on Killian?_

_____KJ (8:43 PM) : Leave lad, R coming to watch him_

___Swan (8:43 PM) : Wait! ________________Wait for me, I'll be there soon. I swear if this is just to get me alone I'll kill you myself._

___________________________KJ (8:46 PM) : No time, going in. you'll not be far behind if you drive. P_hone on silent _____just in case_

___________________________________________Swan (8:46 PM) : Killian? What are you going after? _

_______________________________________________________________________________________Swan (8:46 PM) : Killian?_

* * *

"BAELFIRE?!" his voice echoed through the woods and though his throat was beginning to tire he'd heard no answering call. He heard nothing at all actually. No owls hooting, no animals... even the insects chirping had gone strangely quiet. The moon was full and the stars bright, a stroke of luck as he had no way of lighting his path except the silvery starlight filtering through the trees.

"BAE, Give me a clue, mate? Anything? Snap a bloody twig or something!?"

The darkness gave him more than that, but it wasn't Neal that became suddenly visible through the trees.

"Shut up!" a voice cried.

"Crocodile?" Killian called back, his hand immediately reached for his cutlass, instantly glad he had found it in his room at Granny's. It could use a good oiling, but otherwise was no worse for lack of use. His hook however, still eluded him, perhaps because he'd not yet had the opportunity to seek out the Jolly. The blade slid neatly from the sheath and the metal sang in the quiet woods.

"Can't you be quiet and let a man think?"

"Where's Neal?"

"He's here and I'm here... and she ... she's here. We're all here!" The dark one giggled and Killian raised his blade.

"What are you playing at, Dark One? Where is your son? Where is Baelfire? Is he alive? Is he hurt?"

"Hurts. Alive, Alive, Alive... too... DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S RUDE TO INTERRUPT!" The dark one turned his back on Killian abruptly to cry into the darkness, "NOT YOU TOO! Too crowded already." The Dark One waved his hand as though to wave off a particularly persistent insect, "Fine... fine no need to yell." And with that he vanished in a plume of smoke.

Killian stepped forward and was about to call for Neal again when an inhuman shriek cut through the woods and a shape came hurtling towards him in the darkness. He pulled his cutlass up to block the incoming attack but even so a dart of pain slashed across his cheekbone as the attacker flew past.

"Oh, bloody hell," he cursed. "You've got a problem, you bloody beastie," he called, "my cutlass has something of a better range than your talons."

As if in answer another shriek echoed through the trees, then another and glowing eyes peered down at him from all directions. "Ah, you brought your mates... of course you brought your mates."

He heard a flap of a wing and spun, getting his blade up in time to slash a gash in a charging ...monkey? He'd only a moment to register his surprise before the creature screamed and grasped at his blade with it's talons. With several beats of its wings it attempted to carry off the weapon. Killian wrenched it loose but not before another jolt of pain shot across his torso from an attacker taking advantage of the opening.

He glanced around him, looking for a more defensible position... there, an old tree large enough to prevent anything from coming at him from behind. He maneuvered towards it, still warily watching the eyes in the trees. His back was guarded now but he realized he'd exchanged one front for another when he glanced up and saw two more sets of eyes from the top of the tree. Two more forms flew at him from the surrounding trees, he raised his blade to block, tensing for the slash that he knew was about to sting his forearm from the other side... suddenly there was a loud bang and one of the dark forms fell.

"Hook?" A voice called.

"Emma, eyes up love, they're all over the bloody place."

"Apparently they weren't used to gunfire though, because the dark forms began to retreat; vanishing into the darkness with raucous cries as they went.

"You all right?" Killian asked as Emma approached, David not far behind.

"Me? You're the one that just got ambushed by a bunch of evil monkeys."

"There's no place like home?" he replied with a bright grin.

"Look at you, whipping out the pop culture references."

"Indeed, love, I'm quite the man of the world now. I must say... I always thought that flying monkeys were a bit of a stretch when it came to evil henchmen."

"A stretch?"

"Sure, I mean why monkeys? You know what would be really bloody terrifying? Flying leopards. Or Giants ... or Crocodiles."

"It's symbolic. Anthropomorphized human like figures that have no will of their own. Manipulated by a will stronger than theirs... also they creeped the hell out of me as a kid."

"Symbolic? You know sometimes-"

"Umm guys?" Charming broke in, "as fascinating as this is, is anyone going to bring up the fact that these guys are here... in Storybrooke ...trying to kill us?"

The moon came out from behind a cloud and in the silvery light Emma lifted her hand to Killian's cheekbone. He waved her concern away with a smile pulling his jacket in tighter around him. "Just a scratch, and don't change the subject, mate, you know I'm right."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's get out of here before they realize there's more of them then there are bullets in my weapon."

It wasn't until they got to the car that Emma realized that Killian's cheek abrasion was not the extent of the damage. In the light of the trucks headlights she finally noticed the trail of dark red footprints he was leaving behind him. She grabbed his wrist and turned him toward her in the light of the headlights. His coat fell open and she saw his tunic and the skin beneath had been shredded in 5 long gashes.

"Killian, you're hurt."

"Shallow wounds, I assure you. Looks worse than it is."

* * *

"Ah, hell no," Charming grumbled, "come on, I just cleaned the truck."

Emma raised her eyebrows and Charming sighed. "Fine, get in pirate. Bleed on my newly detailed truck," he continued muttering as he walked around to the driver's side... something about not being able to have nice things. Emma slipped into the passenger side first. (Nothing awkward about squeezing into a tight pickup truck between her newly discovered father and her bleeding almost-boyfriend, nothing at all.) Suddenly Killian leaned into her ear,

"I've got it."

"What?"

"Flying cephalopods. Now that would be a creature of legends. A kraken that could follow a sailor on his shore leave..." he shuddered and Emma bit back a laugh. "I'm telling you, lass, I've missed my calling."

"You should probably keep your thoughts on the subject to yourself in this town. Stories have a tendency to come to life around here."

"Indeed..." he paused for a moment. "Perhaps I should take another shot at the ... dalliance of the lovely Esma and her pirate captain then?"

"You know I'm right here, right?" Charming grumbled, "The fact that you are already bleeding on my upholstery is not going to protect you."

"No need to get terse mate, perhaps you misheard? I said _Esma_. She's a fiery young thing, gets rescued from a shipwreck by a ruthless pirate captain... I'd like to say it's not what you expect but... well..." Emma turns to smack Killian in the shoulder but before she got the chance Charming tapped the brakes, sending Killian forward, the seatbelt pressing briefly against his wound. Killian let out a hiss of pain and Charming smirked.

"Oops."

"Runs in the bloody family, doesn't it?" Killian groaned.

Emma glared at Charming. "Can you two act like adults for... just a few minutes?"

"Probably not," Charming muttered at the same time as Killian said "unlikely."

"Nice to know you agree on _something_," Emma muttered.

* * *

**Is anyone missing the Baby Neal storyline yet. *cough* me neither. Sorry, that was so awkward... I know they had to do it because Ginny was pregnant but... yeah, I kinda don't think the story was ready to go there yet, (and we're not even gunna talk about the name. At first I was like Awwww...and then I was like...eeeeeh... now I'm like eeew.**

**I'm trying to make up for abandoning you for 2 weeks. 2 updates in two days is a start, yes? Thanks for the comments, I appreciate the suggestions and Water-please I totally agree... I kinda miss their AU personalities too, but I think that's going to come up again. Their cursed selves are a part of them now and they're going to have to deal with trying to parse out who they are when they remember two different lives! **


	15. Chapter 15

**Recap:**

"No need to get terse mate, perhaps you misheard? I said _Esma_. She's a fiery young thing, gets rescued from a shipwreck by a ruthless pirate captain... I'd like to say it's not what you expect but... well..." Emma turns to smack Killian in the shoulder but before she got the chance Charming tapped the brakes, sending Killian forward, the seatbelt pressing briefly against his wound. Killian let out a hiss of pain and Charming smirked.

"Oops."

"Runs in the bloody family, doesn't it?" Killian groaned.

Emma glared at Charming. "Can you two act like adults for... just a few minutes?"

"Probably not," Charming muttered at the same time as Killian said "unlikely."

"Nice to know you agree on _something_," Emma muttered.

* * *

Somehow they managed to get back to town without Charming causing any further damage to Killian and as Emma filled in Snow, Killian slipped off to his room to get cleaned up. Making his way into the bathroom he turned on the shower. Shedding everything except the tunic was easy enough but he determined it was easier just to cut off the tattered tunic rather than try to lift it over his head.

The fresh water soothed and burned and the water turned red as it rinsed away dried blood. The swirling red made him think of the globe again. What did it mean? Was Baelfire alive... and why wasn't he where the spell thought he would be. He cleaned the cuts quickly (soap was certainly a much more pleasant alternative to rum and saltwater) and shut off the water. It was strange how at ease he felt here now. The past year... false memories of an entire lifetime in this modern world made him feel quite split in two. Had the monkeys cut deeper would they have been able to pull him apart, separate the vengeful pirate from the broken author? He shook his head at the absurd train of thought before quickly drying and getting dressed. The tunic was the hardest part and as he lifted it over his head a couple stray droplets of blood beaded at the edges of the cut. He ignored it, swinging open the door to return to the diner. He stopped abruptly as the door opened revealing Emma her hand raised as though to knock.

"Emma, I was just ... You alright lass?"

She nodded, not quite making eye contact with him. Instead her eyes were drawn to the v of his tunic where the newly cleaned cuts were still visible. He hastily raised a hand to button the shirt higher and the motion snapped her out of her reverie.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?"

"Just getting cleaned up. I've become quite accustomed to the shower, love."

She shook her head. "I mean going out there alone, you should have waited. Do you have a death wish?"

"In fact, I'm quite attached to my life," he muttered and she flushed red with anger.

"I was just trying to have a few minutes of peace with my kid whom I've not seen in a year and then I start getting bizarre texts from you about some madness in the woods and Regina shows up and tells me you've gone off on your own. You could have been hurt ... you could have been killed-" With a frustrated huff Emma dove forward hugging him close and burying her face in his neck. His arms slipped around her but then, just as suddenly she pulled away, still glaring venomously at him.

"If that is my punishment you may want to rethink your incentive structure," he teased.

"Why did you go alone?"

"Because there was no time!"

"What, really, you couldn't wait 5 minutes to get some backup? I want to find him too, did you think of that?"

"We used the globe to find Baelfire... it couldn't find him and then it did but only for a fraction of a second. Regina thought he might have been injured perhaps even dying! I couldn't wait."

Emma's jaw dropped momentarily but she quickly recovered. "He's really here?"

"I don't know, Emma."

"You risked your life for Neal?"

"To be fair I'd no idea there were going to be flying simians!" When Emma didn't smile his own smile faltered. "I've failed him once, Swan. I won't do so again."

"What do you mean?"

Killian clenched his jaw. Might as well tell her now... "He's Milah's lad. You know that? When we met in Neverland it didn't take me long to realize whom I'd stumbled across. He has her eyes..." He trailed off for a moment. "Not the color... The fire. The desperation to get away, the passion, the need for freedom." He shook his head and glanced at her again. "He found her portrait on my desk. His father told him that a pirate killed his mother and he came to all the wrong conclusions; Demanded to be let off the ship. I tried to convince him to stay but he wanted nothing to do with me. So I let him go... Right into the lost boys hands."

Emma's eyes widened and Killian looked away. "He taught me to care again when I didn't think I could. And then he taught me to be cold. I betrayed him. He could have stayed; I would have protected him if he stayed. I told myself that for decades...but he was only a child. He couldn't be expected to take the word of a pirate above his own father's. I had set myself on a quest of revenge for her, and yet I gave up her only child. That, Swan, is who I am."

"It's who you were."

Killian shook his head and anger flashed in Emma's eyes. "Would you do it again?"

"It doesn't matter. You can't change the past."

"It does matter. Would you do it again? If something happened to me today? If I was killed could you betray Henry to his enemies, even in search of vengeance?" The horror in his eyes was all she needed to see. "You can't change the past, but you would not make the same mistake again. That's all you can ask of yourself."

He raised his hand to her jaw and brushed his fingers into her hair. "Nothing will happen to you, love. I won't let it. I wouldn't survive it again."

"You would," Emma said sternly, "because if something happens to me and you leave my son unprotected I will haunt you for eternity." She grinned to lighten the mood, "I'm talking... humming the song that never ends slightly off key in your ear for all eternity. It would not be pretty."

Killian grimaced but his expression stayed flat. "I've survived the death of the woman I love once, Emma. Do you know what you ask, asking me to consider doing it again?"

"You... lo-" the word caught in her throat and he smiled.

"Here I thought I was being so subtle. But I think the need for subtlety went out the window when we broke a curse."

Emma's heart raced. _Too much, too fast. _Part of her mind was screaming that she didn't know this man...it was at war with the part of her mind that told her that she knew him perfectly. Perhaps better than he knew himself.

"I can't do this."

"You don't have to do anything."

"I'm sorry ... I ... we have to go. We have flying monkeys and a witch and missing people to deal with. Now is not the time." She turned and hurried down the stairs.

Killian ran a hand through his damp hair. Somehow... even though she'd panicked it felt good to tell her. To tell her in words that she is loved. God, when had he turned into such a sap? _I blame the curse,_ he thought to himself as he finally followed her down the stairs. She was sitting with her parents in the booth again when he met her at Granny's and her eyes flicked over to him when he entered the room.

She looked away as Killian sank into the booth. "Are you feeling better?" Mary Margaret asked gently, "David told me you were injured."

"Fine milady, but they are brutal creatures. I would suggest no one go out unarmed."

"Emma mentioned that you had reason to think Neal was in the woods, did you see any sign of him?"

"Not him, the dark one is out there though, and he's cracked. Screaming at nothing, cracked. I asked him if Neal was alive or hurt and he just kept repeating the word alive. Hell if I know what that means. He also said she was here so I can only assume the witch still holds power over him."

"Henry can't stay here," Emma broke in, "he shouldn't be here he should be back in New York."

"But his family is here," Mary Margaret said quietly.

"And so are evil flying monkeys!"

"You can't put your life on hold because evil is out there, evil will always be out there. You just have to deal with it the best you can," Charming told her.

"Right because it works so well for you guys," Emma snapped, "Except I grew up alone. Magic is a curse and I don't want him anywhere near it."

Snow looked taken aback and Emma winced at the hurt in her eyes. "I'm sorry, but ... we all have to make our own decisions and my decision is that once we deal with these... flying monkeys and whoever is controlling them... we're going back to New York." Emma stood, "I'm going to go check on Henry, I'll see you all later."

"She's right," Snow said quietly and Charming put an arm around her.

"Give her some time" Killian said as he stood, "this is a lot to take in. Yesterday there was no such thing as magic, today it's threatening her child." Killian hesitated and then continued, "She remembers, but in a part of her mind she just learned that she had a family. It will take her some time to ... Adapt"

Snow nodded and Killian stood to go. He started to head back to his room but the scent of salt on the wind reminded him that he had yet to check on his lady. _A year without anyone to care for her..._ When he reached the dock his initial evaluation was of the sheets and rigging. Some storm or another had pulled down some of the rigging letting some of the sheets flow free. With no one around to reef them back up again they flapped unrestrained in the wind. Even at night he could already see that they would require major repair. The ropes that had fallen lose would probably need to be replaced altogether.

He made his way to the stern, running his fingers along the wood, not as smooth as it should be. A year of wind and sun had taken its toll. It would take days to go over the rigging in its entirety to determine what needed to be done before he could even begin repairs. He dropped back down onto the quarterdeck; it would have to wait until the morning. Even if he started going over the rigging tonight he wouldn't trust it until he'd gone over every inch of it in the light of day. The lock was still in place on the Captain's Cabin but he hadn't a clue where the key was. Fortunately he didn't need it, his belongings had always been protected more by reputation than by physical locks. In a few moments he had slipped inside the room. Moonlight streamed in the high windows and the usual aroma of rum and salt was replaced with a musty dusty smell. He blew a layer of dust off a lamp and lit it. A soft familiar glow filled the room as he hung the lamp on its hook. He'd always enjoyed candlelight in New York. Ruby always told him that he kept too many candles in his condo for any self-respecting male, but something about the ambiance gave him comfort. Perhaps now he knew why.

There was a soft knock and Killian spun around to see Emma halfway down the ladder. Either she was quieter than she used to be or he really had been in his own world "I thought you might be here," she said, dropping the rest of the way down the ladder.

"Everything ok, lass? I thought you'd be with your boy tonight."

"I was, but... I ... I texted you. I ... just wanted to make sure you're ok."

"Ah, sorry, I've been a bit distracted."

"It's weird... right?"

"What's that?"

"Being here. I remember being here, but I remember an entire life in New York too? How are we supposed to just pretend that didn't happen?"

Killian smiled and leaned back on his desk, "That what you want, lass?"

"I don't know. You?"

"New York was... simpler. Simpler but harder too."

Emma furrowed her eyebrows, "You trying to tell me world famous author is a tougher lifestyle choice than pirate ruffian?"

"I have a rather... predictable way of dealing with grief, love. So dropping back into a world where I'd no recourse in the years following the accid-", he stopped and shook his head. "You're not the only one having difficulty readjusting."

Emma's eyes flicked over his shoulder and then widened. She moved forward past Killian towards the windows. Reaching out under the sill she lifted up a bright silver hook and offered it to him.

One side of his lip lifted slightly as he took it from her, but after turning it over in his hand he dropped it onto the desk.

Emma smiled, "You might need that if those monkeys come back."

"I think I'll stick with the cutlass for now. You know, there's one thing I've gleaned from this experience."

"Aside from an alarming familiarity with the romance novel industry?"

"Indeed, I find your reaction to me when we first met much more explicable now. This world didn't prepare you for my striking ... personality it seems."

Emma laughed, "Among other things. Killian, you know you don't have to stay here. Your place at Granny's is still waiting for you.

"I know that, thank you but... I need to center myself. I need to be here tonight."

"Ok. Look, I have to get back to my parents place... Henry's waiting for me. We're going to have pizza... do you want pizza?"

"No, thank you lass. You should be with your family tonight and I need to ... be with mine." Her face fell slightly and he continued. "Can I... show you something?"

"Sure."

Killian turned and knelt, pulling open a cabinet under his cot. His hand hesitated for a moment and then he pulled out an old satchel filled with papers. He pulled them up and dropped it on the desk. "I'd like you to meet my brother."

Emma's eyes widened and he smiled. "He was a lot like your father... little stuffy, little stubborn but a good man... through and through." The first thing he pulled out was an old crumpled sketch.

"I didn't know you could draw, Killian."

"I can't, not really. Milah drew this for me... from my own descriptions." He spread out several of the pages. "Journals ... he kept a Captain's Log. Every night. I used to tease him endlessly that no one was ever going to be interested in reading his meticulously detailed ration logs but he insisted."

Emma smiled picking up a random sheet and reading a few lines.

Killian smiled too, "I just... I wanted someone else to see him."

"Thank you, Killian."

He leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Go. Be with your lad. I'll see you in the morning?"

Emma nodded. "Good night, Killian."

Emma climbed back up out of the cabin and Killian heard her footsteps retreating down the deck and onto the gangplank before they faded entirely. He glanced back down, spreading out the papers on the table then picking up one at random. It was dry. Calculations regarding how long their water rations would last for a certain number of sailors before they would have to make port. 20% surplus in case of storms. Always prepared. That was Liam. That was Killian too, once upon a time.

He could feel it like a physical pain in his chest. Just reading his brother's words, looking at the picture Milah created having never even met him. It was so perfectly his likeness that Killian used to flinch away from his gaze because Liam wouldn't understand what he had become...

His heart ached, flames licking at his chest until he knew they must consume him. But this was worse... far worse...

He used his good hand to unbutton a few buttons of his tunic. The five scratches that had seemed so clean and superficial mere hours ago burned red, nasty streaks reaching toward his heart.

Infection?

No, it was too soon for an infection to have set in. Reaching his hand into his pocket he pulled out his phone struggling to pull up the number he needed.

"Regina? I think something's wrong. Something magical. I'm on the Jolly-" he didn't finish the sentence before the darkness pressed in on his vision and he stumbled, dropping the phone. It skirted across the floor out of reach. Killian fell to his knees his hand pressing tightly to the burning scratches. When even that became too much, he collapsed. The candlelights shadows flickered across the cabin floor. _ Why am I on the floor?_

Soon the candlelight and the shadows faded away and even the dusty floorboards faded from his vision.

_It doesn't hurt anymore._

* * *

**Uh oh. Killian needs some antibiotics. (No, it's really not an infection - that would be too easy) Though I bet evil monkey claws are just teeming with bacteria...**

**Thank you to my guest reviewers whom I can't contact via PM, I appreciate your notes! **

**Also, I've had a couple reviews mention typos. Don't torture me like that! Tell me where they are so I can fix them! :P My brain autocorrects my writing sometimes so I miss them ... **


	16. Chapter 16

**Short update to let you all know I haven't forgotten about you. I am sorry about the delay... it turns out being yelled at on anon tanks my motivation much more then I expected. (I'm not talking about the guest reviewer that hated the curse twist, btw. ****I'm not going to yell at you for not liking that, I promise.**) I'm talking about a lovely anti-CS rant that I deleted before it saw the light of day.

**Tally ho. **

**Recap:**

"Regina? I think something's wrong. Something magical. I'm on the Jolly-" he didn't finish the sentence before the darkness pressed in on his vision and he stumbled again, dropping the phone. It skirted across the floor out of reach. Killian fell to his knees his hand pressing tightly to the burning scratches.

Soon it didn't hurt anymore.

* * *

"I swear to God, pirate, if this is a joke, they'll never find you."

Regina stepped off the gang plank onto the ship, looking around for the source of the annoying telephone call that had interrupted her first evening back in Storybrooke. Not that she had been doing anything... unfortunately. Henry had taken off back to his perfect charming family. She'd had exclusive custody of Henry for a year and now...

"Pirate?" The ship was silent so she made her way over to the hatch to the cabin below. Tossing it open she glanced down. The cabin was lit with a dying oil lamp, which nonetheless offered her plenty of light to see the prone form of Killian on the floor.

Not that she would have needed light to see him...An eerie green glow was emanating from his body and Regina cocked her head to one side. She slipped down the ladder but kept her distance, trying to determine what kind of magic had a hold on him. She should probably call the savior and tell her that her boyfriend was glowing. _Maybe she'd panic and ask me to watch Henry for the night while she plays nursemaid._ _Not a bad plan..._ The thought made her smile but then a sudden fluctuation in the green light caught her attention before it suddenly faded from her view.

"Looks like you've caught yourself a curse, Pirate," Regina muttered to herself. "And it's not mine... What have you gotten into?"

She nudged Killian with the heel of her boot and his eyes opened. "Good evening, Killian. What the hell did you get mixed up in?"

Killian sat up rubbing his head with a groan. "Rum?"

"For once...I think not."

Suddenly he remembered the burning of his wound and he pulled his tunic aside. Apart from being a little red, it was back to normal.

"Where did that come from?" Regina asked.

"Flying monkey, outside town. Is it possible that it ... did something?"

"Well an apple...or a needle is the more traditional route for a curse... but I suppose flying monkey talon would do the job. Who would be interested in cursing you? I mean... if I was going to curse you it would definitely be a sleeping curse..."

"But if it were a sleeping curse-"

"You wouldn't be making so many helpful comments... exactly. Come on, we're going on a field trip."

"Where?"

"Why don't we pretend that I'm the queen with the most extensive knowledge of magic in town and you pretend you want to find out why you just fell over and started glowing?"

Regina led the way back up the ladder and Killian followed, a smile flitting over his face.

Where turned out to be Regina's crypt. And after another warning not to touch anything Regina held out a needle to him.

"What is this for?" he asked suspiciously. "Last time you used my blood it led us on a rather unhelpful chase."

"I thought you might want to take up sewing. Or perhaps a blood sample to help me determine what kind of magic we're dealing with?"

Regina was quiet for some time, only looking up long enough to tell him "I said, don't touch anything!" and then turning back to her work. Finally she turned back to him curiously. "Hmm..."

"What."

"It's a curse to bind magic. Why would someone... " she paused and looked closer stepping forward until she was mere inches from him.

"What?" Killian asked, irritation creeping into his voice. "Are you going to tell me what's going on or not?"

"Have you kissed Emma since getting that wound."

"And why the bloody hell would you care?"

"Never mind. We'd have known by now, most likely. As you've discovered a kiss can be the carrier for incredibly powerful light magic. It can also, however be manipulated into carrying something much darker. You, Mr. Jones, are the proud owner of a cursed kiss. The next time your lips touch Emma Swan's she will lose her magic. I suggest you two show some restraint until we figure out what the hell is going on."

Killian raised his fingers to his lips in surprise, then nodded as Regina continued. "I'll talk to Gold and the not so Charming's in the morning and-"

"No dear, I don't think you will." Killian and Regina spun and a tall red-haired woman stood inside the crypt.

"How the hell did you get in here. Only those I allow can pass that threshold. It's-"

"Blood magic. Isn't that interesting?" The woman smiled brightly, "well allow me to introduce myself, little sis. I'm Zelena."

"Excuse me?"

"Cora's eldest daughter. Her firstborn."

"You are insane," Regina lifted her hand and a fireball appeared, only to be snuffed out with a flick of Zelena's hand.

"How else could I have gotten past the threshold? We'll chat later, dear. You, Killian Jones have a task to do."

"And what makes you think I would do anything for you?"

"Well I was hoping you wouldn't realize you were cursed until after you kissed her... but ... I'm flexible. You are going to kiss Emma Swan and take away her powers anyway. Otherwise I'll have to get rid of her the old fashioned way. Would you like to watch her die, or shall I let you find her after she's cold?"

Killian clenched his fist, taking a breath to steady his voice before speaking. "You don't want to kill her. Or you can't. Otherwise why go through all this trouble to take away her power? Why bother with a curse delivered by monkey to a man who will pass it along...Why bother if you could get her out of the way on your own?"

Zelena rolled her eyes, "Ah Captain, you're too perceptive for your own good. Indeed Emma Swan is notoriously ... difficult to deal with while her magic protects her."

"And your logic is that in order to keep you from hurting Emma, I'm going to take away that which makes it difficult for you to harm Emma? Your scheming leaves something to be desired."

"It really doesn't matter, Captain. Because I've had my eye on this little town ever since I was able to piggy back my way into this world with your adorable little public display of affection. And it turns out Emma has more weaknesses than I'll ever have time to exploit. I may not be able to kill Emma but she has friends now. Parents. Her child perhaps?"

"I won't let you touch him," Regina shot out making another attempt to expel Zelena from the crypt. Again Zelena flicked away her magic with ease.

"Sit down, sis." Zelena growled and with a wave of her hand Regina flew backwards hitting the stone wall with an unpleasant sounding thud. "Kiss Emma, Captain. Take away her power or take away her son. It's your choice." Zelena turned and Killian unsheathed his blade. It flew from her grip before it had even cleared the scabbard. "While my back is turned? You are a pirate after all, aren't you? I trust you know how to keep a secret. Tell anyone about this and I assure you the consequences will be most unpleasant."

In a swirl of green fog Zelena vanished. Regina was finally starting to stir and Hook moved to her side. "Were you going to tell us you had a crazy sister one of these days?" he muttered.

"I don't have a sister," Regina huffed, "can you keep your mouth shut, lover boy? This curse must stay between us for now. Until we figure out how to deal with Zelena."

Hook nodded "In the meantime... Zelena seems quite nervous about Emma's magic. I think you better make sure she has something to worry about."

Regina laughed coldly, "Do I look like a teacher to you?"

Hook rolled his eyes, "Like it or not, Zelena is afraid of Emma. And if you want to protect your son, developing her potential can't hurt. Unless you have a better idea? Your dark magic didn't work so very well against her, aye?"

The air outside was cool and he breathed in deep, trying to settle the buzzing in his head. Take her power or take her boy?That was no choice. No. He'd find another way. If he could hold her off until Regina had time to train Emma. Emma could defeat her...

But what if Zelena grew impatient before Emma was ready to face her. Emma couldn't protect everyone all the time. His feet led him back to the docks, as always, and he laid back on his cot with one forearm draped over his eyes. Finally he remembered something... Hoping off the bunk he found his phone still lying on the floor of his cabin (thankfully intact.)

_Swan (11:43 PM): You missed some pretty amazing Pizza, Killian! Nothing better than middle of the night, post-craziness pizza! Good night._

_KJ (2:35 AM): All those wasted years not knowing the joy of pizza. A travesty, in truth._

_Swan (2:39 AM): Late night?_

_KJ (2:39 AM): Apologies lass. I didn't notice the time. I hope I didn't wake you._

_Swan (2:40 AM): No, I was up late talking with Henry. I've missed so much. And he wasn't even that far away. You know he used to hang out with me while Regina was in meetings? How could I not have known him?_

_KJ (2:41 AM): Nature of the beast, love. You know there's nothing you could have done differently. All you can do now is keep him close now that you've got him back._

_Swan (2:42 AM): Regina texted me, not long ago. She wants to meet. Thinks I need to start training my magic if I'm to deal with this ... wicked witch character._

_KJ (2:43 AM): Sounds like a good idea. Sarting tomorrow?_

_Swan (2:43 AM): Unfortunately. Just what I need right? More insanity..._

_KJ (2:44 AM): I've seen the power inside you, love. It's a gift._

_Swan (2:46 AM): Agree to disagree. Anyway I'm meeting Regina in less than 7 hours so I should probably try to get some sleep. Oh, and s__omeone needs to keep an eye on Henry. Would you mind if he spent some time with you tomorrow?_

_KJ (2:49 AM): Of course. But wouldn't his grandparents desire that particular honor._

_Swan (2:49 AM): He remembers you. Both from here and New York. Thought it might ease the transition to be with someone he's not been separated from for a year. Besides... How many teenagers can say they get to hang out with Captain Hook right? Night, Killian._

_KJ (2:50 AM): Looking forward to it. __Sweet dreams._

* * *

**********************Sorry it was short but in the end I remembered how amazing you all are for sticking with me through the WTH moment and my motivation is coming back post-drama. **

******************I wanted to try something different... And so here we are. N****ow we get to see ****what happens when two people, shaped by their experiences in this world get thrust back into a world with magic. Isn't that what this show is all about? :)**

**(Also can you say duh. Zelena… you don't just tell him his kiss is cursed. Really, what kind of villain are you! And we never did figure out why Zelena couldn't kill Emma in canon. Hint-it's because the writer's love angst and a cursed kiss is angst central. Logic is… details. :P)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Recap:**

_Swan (2:46 AM): Agree to disagree. Anyway I'm meeting Regina in less than 7 hours so I should probably try to get some sleep. Oh, and s__omeone needs to keep an eye on Henry. Would you mind if he spent some time with you tomorrow?_

_KJ (2:49 AM): Of course. But wouldn't his grandparents desire that particular honor._

_Swan (2:49 AM): He remembers you. Both from here and New York. Thought it might ease the transition to be with someone he's not been separated from for a year. Besides... How many teenagers can say they get to hang out with Captain Hook right? Night, Killian._

_KJ (2:50 AM): Looking forward to it. __Sweet dreams._

* * *

"You know your mothers will kill me if they ever find out I let you all the way up here."

Henry was looking far too at ease up here in the rigging for a land-lover, and Killian was starting to regret allowing him to climb...

"Nah," Henry retorted. "Regina can't complain because she used to ditch me with Emma during meetings. And now Emma ditches me with you. I get it... someone's gotta watch the kid while Emma learns how to take over the world."

Killian laughed, "I doubt that is exactly her goal. Regardless... do you have any idea how long it would have taken me to check all this rigging all by me lonesome?"

"It's a lot of rope."

"Indeed it is. And you're a far better climber than Mr. Smee."

"If men were meant to climb, Cap'n, they'd have wings," a voice called from below.

"You're lucky we're in the harbor, Mr. Smee, or I might be tempted to have you do a very rapid survey of the underside of this vessel. As it is that deck better be gleaming by the time the lad and I get back down."

"Do you really make people walk the plank every time they don't do as you say?" Henry asked, starting his descent.

"Oh no, certainly not. That's heinously uncreative. Tell him Mr. Smee, what's your favorite corrective pastime?"

Smee muttered something unintelligible as Henry made his way down back onto the deck.

"What was that?" Killian asked, jumping the last few feet.

"The mermaid."

"Ah, indeed. A personal favorite of mine as well." Henry cocked his head to one side and Killian continued. "This vessel began as a navy vessel, and thus is missing a key piece of decor. A lady to adorn our bow. So on several occasions of ... misconduct, Mr. Smee was asked if he preferred the plank or the bow. And I do believe that you are looking at the reigning champion for number of hours spent as the vessels mermaid."

Mr. Smee made a sarcastic bow to Henry and laughter rang from the dock. Henry had made it back to the deck just in time because Emma had arrived, stepping onto the gangplank a moment later.

"Hey Kid, don't tell me he put you to work?"

"Of course I did," Killian said feigning offense, "Every sailer must carry his own weight in their time aboard!"

Henry nodded, "I climbed all the way up there!" he said, pointing up the rigging.

Emma glared but Killian just raised his eyebrows at Henry. "Really lad, my inability to keep you at ocean level will be my undoing?" Henry shrugged and Killian turned to Emma, "What'll it be, Swan? The lash or the plank?"

"Perhaps just a stern warning this time around," Emma replied.

"So, are you a sorceress now?" Henry asked excitedly.

"I'm not sure I love that particular word... but I can make a bridge fly, so I guess that's something."

Killian's grin faltered, "A ... bridge?"

"Regina decided that I work on instinct. Turns out my instinct is to not be smashed to pieces at the bottom of a cliff, so I guess it worked..."

"Fantastic." Killian replied, "On an entirely unrelated note, how certain are you that she's not trying to murder you?"

"Today?" Emma replied. She shrugged, stepping forward, "Thanks, by the way," her eyes flicked over to Henry who had gone to get his backpack.

"I was glad to have him. He's a great lad."

"So... while Regina was attempting to throw you over a cliff, did she make any progress determining what happened in the woods?"

"Not really. There was another monkey attack today. It tried to take Robin's son, Roland. Fortunately Regina was there and now the kid has a new toy. Belle has been hunkered down in the library all day. Reading about the history of the Dark One and trying to figure out where that globe came from. If you saw him on the map though.. he must have been alive right? Maybe it's like... bad reception. Something was blocking its...view? I'm sure Belle will find something."

"We may not have time for her to become an expert on the history of the dark one, love. We've an evil witch and her simion minions waging war on the town."

"I don't know that I would call it a war… she's not really doing very much. I mean maybe she just-"

"Don't underestimate her, love. She's dangerous."

"Since when are you an expert on the Wicked Witch." Emma raised an eyebrow. "Seriously, what's up with you? We'll deal with this, just like always. And this time I can do this- "

Emma grinned brightly and with a flick of her fingers his hook appeared in the palm of her hand. It had been down in his cabin and he was impressed for a moment that she had been able to find it. She tossed it from one hand to another and Killian narrowed his eyes, catching it midair.

"Bad form, Swan, tampering with a man's hook," Killian muttered

Emma sighed and with a wave of her fingers it vanished again, "You gotta admit. That's pretty cool. Can you imagine how useful that could have been in New York. Like when I was running late for work I could just..." she waved her fingers and a cup of coffee appeared in her hand. "Boom! Granny's to go!"

"Most impressive."

Emma sighed, "Come on Killian, come to dinner with us. Relax a bit."

"Perhaps another time, I have quite a bit of work to do here."

Her face fell and Killian clenched his fingers as he restrained himself from reaching out and toying with her hair. Instead he took a step back, turning away from her hurt expression to call Henry.

"Henry? Let Mr. Smee finish his task, I believe you have some people waiting for you at Granny's."

Emma still looked confused when he turned around again but she'd covered the hurt expression and redirected her attention to Henry as he hurried toward her. She handed Killian the coffee she had just produced and slipped an arm around Henry as they moved toward the gang plank.

"You coming?" Henry called back.

_Bloody hell, this family was a test of his resolve…_

"Not this time, lad."

No sooner had their steps faded from his hearing than he let out a grunt of frustration, throwing the coffee to the deck where the cup shattered to pieces.

"Captain-" Mr Smee started, "I just finished cleaning-" Killian glared and Smee coughed. "I mean... excellent timing, sir. I was just about to make a second pass."

"No, thank you. Go home, Smee."

"It's all right, Cap'n, it's good exercise!"

"I said go home, Smee. That was not a request."

Smee hurried off the ship and Killian dropped down into his cabin, slamming the hatch none too gently behind him.

"Easy, dear," a sickly sweet voice called from behind him as Killian dropped down the ladder. Killian froze, closing his eyes in frustration and leaning his head forward against the ladder for the briefest moment before turning.

"It's polite to knock," he muttered finally facing his unwelcome guest. Zelena was half reclined against his cot turning over some bauble or another in her fingers. She dropped it carelessly and it rolled along the floor. She watched it for a moment until it rolled under his desk before she looked up at him.

"Honestly, Captain, for all your posturing I thought you would be more efficient at this..."

"This?" Killian scoffed, "Oh you mean using me to destroy the woman I love. Turns out I'm still not going to help you with that."

"Oh that's cute dear, did you still think you had a choice? I thought we cleared all this up yesterday," Zelena commented, inspecting her nails carefully. "Clearly you need some motivation. Perhaps her family tree is in need of some pruning? It's quite extensive I hear."

"Don't touch them," Killian hissed. A long buried memory drove him to lunge forward, his left arm extended as though to bury his hook in the witch's neck. She disappeared but it wouldn't have mattered. The hook was gone. Hanging on the wall where he had left it. (A voice in the back of his mind noticed that Emma had improved if she could manage that kind of accuracy without even being able to see her target... Would it be enough...) A giggle from behind him brought him back to the present and he turned, Zelena was now leaning against the ladder and despite her laughter, her eyes were full of venom.

"You met my pet the other day, pirate?"

"Indeed. He's a dangerous one to keep on a leash, luv. Especially when his son is in danger. Where is he? The dark one's son?"

Zelena just smiled. "I will not hesitate to let the Dark One destroy _everyone_ she holds dear. How many will it take ...and what do you suppose she will think of you, when I come to her lad's funeral, lean against a tiny coffin and tell her that you could have stopped it." A single red Rose appeared in her hand and she offered it to him, finally dropping it to the floor when he refused to play along. "Really, it's not so hard. Just one little kiss. She had no magic for nearly a year and somehow she made it through all right. Wouldn't you like to go back to that? Just normal people in a normal city? It's what she wants, isn't it?"

"And I'm to believe you'd let us be? Normal people in a normal city?" Killian scoffed and Zelena's eyes narrowed.

"All you need to believe is that if you _don't,_ everyone she loves will die. Then she will beg me to take her too." Her voice faded away as the witch dissolved into green smoke again. A tendril lingered, wafting towards him and twisting around his throat before dissolving with a whisper in his ear, "and I will."

In a moment he was halfway up the ladder and throwing open the hatch. He paused, dropping back down into the cabin and stalking over to the wall where his hook was hanging, an unused relic of a man he used to know. Ripping it from the wall he snapped it back into place. His leather jacket was laying on his bunk and he grabbed that too, checking the pocket as he made to leave the cabin again. The cool metal of the spyglass met his fingertips. He slammed the hatch closed behind him and stalked off the vessel making for town. He needed to see her. Needed to be sure she was all right...

Halting on the other side of the street in the shadow of an alley he pulled his spyglass loose and raised it up. In the window of Granny's she was seated laughing with her family. Safe and well.

Safe.

She'd no idea what was coming.

He longed to go into Granny's pull her aside and tell her everything. But Zelena knew. Somehow she knew that Emma wanted to return to New York. If she knew that than her network of spies must be as extensive as she claimed. If he told Emma... Zelena's spies would tell her the game was over. Every single person at that table would have a target painted on their back...

He clicked the spyglass shut and leaned back against the wall of the alley. _Her magic or her son. _His fingers drifted up to brush his lips. They didn't feel cursed... what do cursed lips feel like?

_Her magic... or her son._

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out. In surprise he realized Emma was texting him from inside the restaurant. He retreated from the alley, heading back towards the docks as he read it.

_Swan (6:34 PM): I have an idea._

_KJ (6:34 PM): If it involves french fries and milkshakes I can attest that it is a good one._

_Swan (6:37 PM): Killian Jones, are you stalking me?_

_KJ (6:37 PM): Not stalking if you were invited. Though, in point of fact it's not very hard to imagine a family dinner with Henry might involve french fries and milkshakes._

_Swan (6:40 PM): True. I was just at dinner and thinking about New York and I realized there's something here that we didn't have there. We don't need the publisher, Killian. I could do it myself. _

___Swan (6:44 PM):__Why not? Magic can do just about anything else. You don't need the reputation the curse gave you, and it doesn't matter where the stories came from. _

_KJ (6:45 PM): You're still thinking about that, love? With flying monkeys pounding down the gates?_

_Swan (6:45 PM): I've been practicing. I could do it._

_KJ (6:48 PM): I've no doubt. But has it occurred to you that I don't particularly want something that amounts to my life story available to public perusal._

_Swan (6:48 PM): Oh. Sorry._

Killian raised his eyebrows in surprise. He honestly hadn't expected her to give in so easily. That conversation was probably not over...

_KJ (6:48 PM): No, lass. It's I who should apologize._

_Swan (6:51 PM): Why didn't you come to dinner? Really?_

_KJ (6:52 PM): I told you already._

_Swan (6:52 PM): Really? Checking the rigging in the dark? Turns out my superpower works over text too. Come on Killian, you're avoiding me. Why?_

_Swan (6:54 PM):I miss this._

_Swan (6:54 PM): Us._

_Swan (6:54 PM): I mean us talking._

_KJ (6:55 PM): I know how you feel._

_Swan (6:55 PM): Then don't do this. Just talk to me._

_KJ (6:57 PM): I wish I could, more than anything, but please- I've some things I need to take care of first._

_Swan (6:57 PM): Is this because of Neal?_

Killian read the text several times in surprise. Baelfire? Why would this be about Bae?

_KJ (6:58 PM):What do you mean, lass?_

_Swan (6:58 PM): Ruby told me. She overheard your conversation about giving us a chance. And you've been avoiding me since we learned he might be here in Storybrooke._

_KJ (6:59 PM): Emma, I will do everything in my power to bring Baelfire home. But that has nothing to do with this._

_Swan (7:01 PM): Good. We need to find the Dark One, Killian. Find out what the hell is happening around here. Robin and his men have been tracking the monkey's movements and David and I are going to help them search the west woods again tomorrow morning. Interested?_

_KJ (7:01 PM): Always._

* * *

Henry wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea that he had to stay home while everyone else went out in search of the wicked witch and the Dark One. In a last ditch attempt he turned on Regina as Emma was pulling away. "You don't want to be stuck here either do you? I mean, come on. It's an adventure. Robin will be there!"

"He smells like forest," Regina retorted.

"You didn't seem to mind that when he was saving us from a flying monkey," Henry insisted.

"I had everything under control, Henry. And he knows that. I turned that other monkey into a stuffed animal... there's no reason for him to be following me around."

Henry frowned, "You mean when he offered to walk us home last night? That does not constitute following someone around." Regina shrugged and Henry sighed, "OK, well then we should definitely go today. You know, so you can show him that you can take care of yourself!"

"Nice try Henry."

"You never let me have any fun."

"You have like a dozen parental figures in this town, Henry. Do you really think any of them would approve of you chasing after a wicked witch in flying monkey infested terrain?"

"Killian might," Henry said after some consideration.

"I doubt it. But just in case, remind me to have a conversation with Miss Swan about her choices in supervision."

Henry wasn't the only one fighting a battle with boredom, though. After 2 hours of hiking through the west woods there was not a hint of unusual activity. Robin insisted that this time yesterday the area was a hotbed of monkey business (Emma's laughter abruptly turned into a coughing fit when Robin glanced over in confusion.)

"Maybe it rained last night?" Emma suggested. She glanced at Ruby and Killian, wondering how they were able to keep such stoic faces in the face of hearing fricken Robin Hood talk about monkey business. Ruby sent her a sly smile and the corner of Killian's mouth twitched.

"If only we were so lucky," Robin replied, "that would make it much easier to track her movements."

"Not for me," Ruby said helpfully. "The scent of monkey is all over this wood though, I just can't find an active trail."

The grin was tugging at the corner of Killian's mouth again and Ruby punched his shoulder. "One word Killian, and I'll show you just how thoroughly I've embraced my true self," she bared her teeth with a playful growl and Killian raised his hand.

"Good puppy," he muttered under his breath.

"Like you're one to talk," Ruby said. I see you've taken up the hook again."

"It's great for holding cups of coffee," Killian said quickly.

A screech broke through the silence of the wood and everyone turned. "Here we go again," muttered Charming.

The merry men were already off chasing down the monkey with Ruby in the lead. Emma made to follow but Charming and Hook were hesitating, glancing at each other and around them. Emma halted, "You two old men can't keep up?" she teased.

Charming smirked a little and glanced around him.

Killian moved a step closer to Emma, his voice dropping lower. "Don't you get the feeling we're on a bit of a wild goose chase?"

Emma's smile faltered. He was right. She should have noticed. In a past life she had been a bail bondsperson who would _never _have let herself be led around like this.

"So if she's leading us deeper into the woods what does she really want?" Emma asked.

"Either she's leading us into a trap," Charming started;

"Or it's a distraction," Killian finished.

"So what do we do about it," Emma asked, glancing in the direction the merry men had headed.

Charming sighed, "Well, we certainly can't let Robin and his men find out for us," he commented, and he jogged in the direction of the retreating band.

* * *

Henry may not have been able to convince Regina to let him chase after flying monkeys but after some insistence that if she was the cool mom he would let him have ice cream for lunch, Regina finally gave in.

"Since when are you so manipulative?" she asked as he dragged her into Granny's.

"It comes from my dad's side," he said proudly.

"That is _not_ funny." Regina shot back and Henry grinned as they settled into their booth. They finally came to a compromise that if Henry started with a side of broccoli then he could have his ice cream. After the vegetables had been decimated Henry was waiting eagerly for his ice-cream (extra everything, of course) when suddenly Regina stood up so quickly she knocked over both their drinks. In an instant she was standing between Henry and the door. Then she wasn't. Or she was, but Henry had moved.

Henry struggled to free himself, craning his neck to see who had a grasp on him.

"Good afternoon, dear." Zelena said as Regina spun to where Henry had appeared on the other side of the room.

"Let him go."

"In time. Ah ah, no dear. Stay right where you are or Henry is going to have a very bad day. You wouldn't want to deprive him of extra everything now would you?"

"What do you want Zelena?"

"Oh nothing much. Just your heart."

"Oh is that all?" Regina mocked. "Let Henry go, or you're going to need a new one yourself."

Zelena raised her arm and a crossbow bolt froze inches from her head. "You'll have to do better than that." There was a crack and Granny's crossbow fell to pieces on the floor. Suddenly Henry gasped. Regina screamed and a fireball appeared in her hand but it was too late. In Zelena's hand was a heart. Henry's heart.

"Or perhaps this will do?" She said, watching Regina carefully.

"No," Regina whispered, "That's impossible."

"Blood magic again? My dear sister when will you learn. I'd rather have yours, but if I must make do-"

"Fine, fine, here." Regina reached for her own heart, it emerged specked with black spots but glowing fiercely none-the-less. "Let him go, and take mine instead."

"If you try to cheat me dear, I'll crush his to dust."

Regina nodded. "I know. Give him back his heart. And mine is yours."

Henry gasped again and fell to his knees. When he looked up again, Regina was next to him, her arms encircling him protectively. "Henry, hey, Henry are you all right?"

"Where is she, what did she do."

"It doesn't matter, you're safe."

Henry looked confused (and frankly so did Regina.) "If she took it, how are you still here?"

"She didn't crush it. I don't know what she wants but apparently it's not my death."

She pulled out her phone and brought it up to her ear.

"You better get back to Granny's, Miss Swan." There was a pause and Regina continued. "He's fine...wait you found what?"

Henry leaned closed to hear Emma's voice.

"We found Rumplestiltskin and Neal. The monkeys led us to a house deep in the woods. We thought it was abandoned but then before we could investigate further we found Mr. Gold in the woods. He ran off and then while we were trying to catch him we found Neal. We're taking him to a hospital. Dad and Ruby are still out searching for Mr. Gold though."

"Let someone else take him there. I need you here."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

A few minutes later Emma burst through the door of Granny's with Robin right behind her. She took one look around and hurried to Henry. "What the hell happened here?"

"The wicked witch paid us a little visit. She threatened to take Henry's heart... she took mine instead."

"What?" Robin's eyes widened, "I may be new to this whole magic thing but doesn't one generally... you know... need that?"

"Very perceptive, thief. But she decided not to crush it. Regardless, I'm not safe anymore. It's possible she may try to ... influence me. I can't be with Henry alone."

Henry shook his head, "Of course you can. You can fight it. I know you won't hurt me."

"Better safe than sorry, kid," Emma said and Regina nodded her approval.

"It's all right Henry. Go with Emma. Go see your father."

"What about you?"

"I'll stay with her," Robin offered.

"I do not need a chaperone," Regina huffed.

"Good," Robin replied. "Because that's not what I was offering. How about a friend?"

Regina's mouth dropped open as though she were going to speak and then she closed it again. "I suppose that might not be ... too objectionable," she said finally.

Henry gave Regina a hug and then left with Emma.

"Well..." Granny finally asked, breaking the silence. "Still want that ice cream?"

"No," Regina said at the same time as Robin answered, "Of course."

"I do not need ice cream," Regina scoffed.

Robin shrugged good-naturedly, holding out a chair for Regina. "No one _needs_ ice cream... but it is highly recommended. Would you care to join me?"

* * *

**A weekend without OUAT... I don't think I can do it! Does it still count as a weekend without ouat... **


	18. Chapter 18

**Recap:**

"Well..." Granny finally asked, breaking the silence. "Still want that ice cream?"

"No," Regina said at the same time as Robin answered, "Of course."

"I do not need ice cream," Regina scoffed.

Robin shrugged good-naturedly, holding out a chair for Regina. "No one _needs_ ice cream... but it is highly recommended. Would you care to join me?"

* * *

"Nothing like a green blob to get the appetite going," Neal grimaced.

"Yes well, turns out they don't have steak in the hospital cafeteria," Killian responded

"So the last thing I remember is Emma driving off in her bug. What happened? How did she get back? How did we get back?" Neal asked in confusion, turning towards where Hook was leaning against the window.

"When we got back to Storybrooke she broke the curse to return our altered memories."

"We? They said she wouldn't remember us. Any of us."

"And they said we would all end up back in the Enchanted forest. It seems the curse didn't work... as anticipated. As for the rest, I believe that's a conversation for you to be having with her, mate."

"So ... this old leather coat and jeans thing is the latest fashion in New York?"

Killian chucked. "Believe it or not I grew rather... accustomed to New York." Killian toyed with the edge of his hook briefly. "To be quite honest this guise... it all still feels like something of a..." he shrugged holding up his hook mockingly. "It doesn't matter. This is what they need."

"So, you're with the good guys now. How does it feel to be the hero?"

"Unfamiliar. And you, how does it feel to be the villain?"

"What are you talking about?" Neal retorted.

Killian stepped closer and reached for his arm. Neal flinched away at first but Killian grabbed it anyway and turned it over. "Is that how you brought him back? What was the price?"

"Brought who back, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Your father is alive, mate. We were out there looking for him when we stumbled into you. Belle tells us you brought him back. Nearly died in the process... but here you are."

Neal sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to look at the mark in the light of the window. "I have no idea where this came from."

"I looked for you," Killian continued, "in the west wood when we first got back. Your father's globe gave me your location and I swear I searched that whole area... where were you?"

"_You _were looking for _me?_ Still trying to impress Emma, I see-"

Without warning Killian turned from the window and clasped his arm around Neal. Neal stiffened, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Something I feared I'd missed my chance to do. All these years, Baelfire, wasted over misunderstandings and mistakes. I should have protected you, mate, and I'm sorry."

"I took care of myself," Neal retorted when Killian released him.

"You shouldn't have had to, you were only a child then."

"Well, I'm all grown up now."

"Indeed. We had so much time Baelfire, more then any man could reasonably expect and yet...We let so much anger come between us over..." Killian smiled softly, "a woman."

"A hell of a woman," Neal replied.

"She is that. And fighting over a lighter was never going to win her affections."

Neal chuckled, "Seemed like a good idea at the time. Does this mean you yield, pirate?"

"That's not really in my nature. In the end we I think we both just want her to be happy, right?"

Neal sighed, "I failed her once, Killian. I'm not going to abandon my family again."

"I wouldn't ask it of you." Killian nodded towards the door where they could hear Emma's voice drifting down the hall. "Second on the left, don't run kid."

A moment later Henry burst in and ran to Neal's bed. "You're not a monkey!"

"Not last time I checked," Neal replied "but I admit I haven't seen a mirror in some time."

"I overheard Regina saying you might be a monkey!" Henry commented as he gave Neal a hug.

"Apparently I've missed a lot..." Neal muttered, "can we talk... in private for a minute, Emma?"

Emma glanced up "Killian... would you mind taking Henry outside for a sec?"

Killian nodded at Henry. "Come on lad, time to let the grown ups talk."

"Thanks," Emma muttered as Killian left with Henry.

"So...it's Killian now?"

"It's his name, Neal, and I'm not going to start this again."

"That's not what- never mind. So it's been-"

"A year."

"Without your memories?"

"The curse kindly left me memories of my stint in prison."

"Emma I'm-"

"We're not going to talk about that either, Neal, ok. We're going to talk about the fact that we found you out in the woods hanging with the flying monkeys. What were you doing out there, how did you get there?"

"I don't know. The last thing I remember is you leaving town in that bug."

"The rest of us have our memories back... why don't you?"

"I'm going to assume that's rhetorical because ... hell if I know." He held up his palm and showed her the symbol burned into his palm. "So Belle remembered me bringing back my dad? Doesn't she know what happened?"

"She's been cooped up in the library but I don't think she knows the details either. I texted her though. She should be here any minute."

"That's not what I wanted to talk about, Emma. Look... I'm sorry. I mean I don't know what happened but you ended up alone again."

"I'm not alone. I have family now... and I have-" Emma stopped abruptly. "Look Neal, I'm glad you're ok, but we can't go back. You know that right?"

"I'm not giving up."

"It's not your choice. Neal. We had our time and we were happy once. But I'm not that person anymore. I'm don't want to be her-"

Neal sighed, "I can't lose you two. I know I screwed up but I can't lose my family."

"We're not lost. You're still Henry's dad and nothing will ever change that. It's just going to be different now."

"How did you break the curse Emma? Killian said you broke it but you didn't have any memory of your magic, right? So how-"

There was a timid knock on the door and Belle peaked inside. "Sorry, I can come back, I just ... you told me to hurry?"

"Yeah." Emma said, "I'll be right back, I'm going to go get some coffee."

Emma slipped out of the room and leaned her back against the wall. Seeing Neal again was exhausting. It brought back all the memories and anxieties of a girl she had left behind so long ago and she just wanted to bury it all again. She took a deep breath and hurried to the end of the hall.

* * *

When Killian left Neal's room he took Henry to the waiting room down the hall, pulling out his phone as Henry went to forage for snacks at the vending machine. He pressed a number on his speed dial and a voice picked up right away.

"Red, you still out there?" he asked.

_"Nope. There was no sign of the Dark One anywhere."_

"Nothing? We need to talk. How quickly can you get to the hospital?"

"Ask and you shall receive," Red called from the doorway down the hall with a grin. "Granny told me you all headed here."

Killian closed his phone and glanced at Henry who was still trying to decide between sweet and salty at the vending machines.

"So ... Emma's in there...with Neal." Ruby prompted when she got close enough.

Killian just nodded.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't know, Red. I'm glad he's back, though. So it seems I've got my more unsavory impulses under control."

"Killian-"

"I know you told her about my conversation with Baelfire."

"I'm sorry Killian. I didn't mean for it to come out like it did. She was so upset that you were avoiding her. I just wanted her to know that it probably didn't have anything to do with her."

"You're right, it doesn't. Doesn't have anything to do with Baelfire either, but it should."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about," he started loudly, then he stopped, glancing over towards Henry and lowering his voice. "I'm talking about all this time I was bloody trying to get him back and it never once occurred to me... I told him I'd give him his chance, Red, and...he's the lads father. If my presence-"

"Stop it," Ruby broke in. "Don't do this, Killian."

"Red, if I could-"

"No! I know what you're thinking. You're going to tell me of some half-baked, self-sacrificial plan to go after Zelena alone and I don't want to hear it."

"Zelena took Regina's heart, Red. I don't know what the bloody hell I can do but I have to do something."

"Keep an eye on Henry. Make sure he doesn't eat all those M&Ms in one go? Nothing's going to happen to him, Killian." Ruby said, "She can't get through all of us! Emma's magic-"

"She can. Emma's our only shot but... We have to get Henry out of here."

"Out of ... the hospital?"

Killian shook his head and Ruby's eyes widened her voice dropping even lower. "What? You think the witch can't leave Storybrooke?"

"There's no magic outside Storybrooke, right?"

"Killian you can't just sail off with Henry," she whispered. "He's safer here anyway where Emma's magic can protect him."

Killian dropped his head back for a moment in frustration but he recovered quickly, nodding. Before Ruby could respond Emma appeared in the hallway. She looked frayed and tired and Killian stood instantly. Henry stuffed the rest of the candy into his mouth and hurried closer.

"You ok, love?" Killian asked quietly. She leaned into him and shook her head.

"Belle's here now," she told him, "we should all talk. Maybe we can figure out what's going on."

"Me too?" Henry asked excitedly.

"Sure kid, I think you've lived through enough curses that you might just be an expert." She nodded towards the hallway, "let's go." Ruby led Henry ahead being particularly unsubtle about giving them a moment to talk.

"What can I do, Emma?"

She laughed. "Take me back to New York. Buy me bear claws and show up at my door at two in the morning because I didn't text you back."

"I wish I could, Emma." He squeezed her hand gently and she laced her fingers through his. It was a terrible idea. Letting himself get closer. Giving himself the opportunity to slip up. To forget.

"I feel like this is some sort of ridiculous joke. And any minute now someone is going to jump out of a closet and yell April Fools. I'm just ...just an editor who isn't really an editor masquerading as a savior who isn't really a savior."

"It's no masquerade love. That year didn't turn you into something you're not. Think of it as an added experience. One more thing you can say you've done in this life."

"And what has my added experience done to help me lately?"

"Well, love, you're exceptionally good at reading characters. Determining motivations. Perhaps that will be of some assistance to you."

"It's not helped me figure you out yet," she said irritably.

"Me, lass? I'm an open book," he commented lightly.

"Really. So you're just pulling away because the challenge is over?" There was more annoyance than hurt in her eyes and he squeezed her hand again.

"Does this feel like pulling away?"

"I'll figure it out, Killian."

"I've no doubt."

When they arrived in the room Belle was examining the symbol on Neal's palm again.

"What do we know?" Emma asked briskly.

Belle answered quickly, releasing Neal's hand. "Neal and I were trying to bring Rumple back. We found a way to bring him back from his vault but Zelena showed up and claimed that it would cost a life to save a life. I haven't been able to find anything else about the vault and I haven't a clue what Rumple did to save Neal. All I know is he disappeared... and now he's here again. Maybe Zelena was wrong about the cost? It doesn't make any sense. Emma... We need Rumpelstiltskin, he would understand."

"Well we don't have him," Neal said sullenly. Belle flinched and Neal looked at her apologetically. "Sorry, I mean... I'm sure we'll find him."

"We will," Belle confirmed, "I know we will. He'll know what to do."

"Yeah well until he decides to grace us with his presence we've got to find a way to deal with this witch." Killian said, irritably. "Robin says the monkeys are growing in number and attacking more frequently, it's only a matter of time before they stop hugging the perimeter of town."

Emma sighed. "So she had the opportunity to take Henry's heart and did not. Instead she took Regina's. But she didn't crush it... and she's shown no interest yet in controlling Regina through it. Why bother?"

"That's not all heart's are used for." Belle responded. "Spells and curses require hearts all the time. Though generally they specify a particular heart, one that means something to the caster."

"So Zelena needed Regina's heart because ... what because they're apparently sisters?" Killian asked.

Belle shrugged. "Could have something to do with blood magic I suppose. But if that's all she needed why aren't we watching a curse come down on us right now?"

"Because she's not done," Emma said, "she needs something else."

"You," Killian said. The word slipped out before he could think about it and by impulse he glanced at the window as though expecting a monkey to charge through.

"How would you know that?"

"Who else could it be? You're the only other one in town with magic, love. Surely she knows you're the only one who poses a real danger to her." He knew he was treading dangerous ground here, but he had to do something.

"Regina's magic didn't seem to bother her in the slightest," Emma replied.

"That was dark magic," Henry broke in.

Everyone looked over at him.

"Regina... she was trying to use her fireballs. It's dark magic. The wicked witch knows how to control dark magic. You can't use that to fight her."

Emma frowned, "Yeah well my magic is not exactly under control."

"It will be," Henry replied confidently.

"All right, enough of this. We need to find my father and figure out what she's really after," Neal said, pulling at the monitors stuck to his arms. "Can I get the hell out of here, now?" That turned out to be a pretty terrible idea because the heart monitor flatlined and alarms filled the room before two nurses and Dr. Whale came charging in.

Whale silenced the alarm but pushed Neal back down on the hospital bed again. "Ah ah. You were wandering around in the woods with no memories of the past year. That warrants overnight observation on the off chance there's an actual medical explanation for once. It does happen...from time to time."

"For how long?" Neal asked. "I've apparently already missed a year-"

"Until I'm convinced you're medically sound," Whale said.

"All right," Emma sighed. "Henry why don't you stay here for a little bit. Give you and Neal a chance to catch up while we go back out there. Red maybe you can help Belle while we search for Gold-"

"Swan," Killian said, touching her arm softly. "In case Zelena returns, perhaps Red and I should remain nearby."

Emma shrugged and nodded to Belle who quickly gathered up the books she had brought with her. Killian walked out with Emma and took her arm before she could leave. "Emma... please be careful."

She laughed, "Hey, I'm not the one with monkey talon scars. I never would have guessed you to be so prone to recklessness."

"It's not reckless if you have a plan," he counters with a smile. "Call me if anything happens?" She leans forward. A simple attempt at affirmation. Reassurance that nothing had changed because of Neal. Contact that he desperately needed to ground himself and stop the spinning in his mind. At the last second he pulls to the side and hugs her close. _The curse. _How could he have almost forgotten ... One moment of dropping his guard and everything could be ruined.

He wants to run his fingers along her jaw until she smiles. To kiss her in the middle of a busy hospital until her knees turn to water and she clings desperately to him. To feel her smile into his lips, her fingers brushing the back of his neck. He wants to take her hand and take her back to New York. To eat pizza and bicker about characterization and tempo in a life where all he had to fear was deadlines and nightmares.

But that wasn't her world anymore. In that life she was alone. Now she had family. Parents. Henry. So instead he just pretends he doesn't see the confused expression on her face as she walks away. She glances back at him and in less than a second he cracks. _Oh bloody hell, not this time._

He darts forward again and grabs her wrist. She thinks he's going to kiss her, he can tell, but instead he slips his fingers up her arm until they reach her face. They run along her jawline and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

He pulled her into another hug and murmured into her ear, "I can't kiss you right now, Swan, but I need you to know how desperately I want to." _Was the witch listening? Did I just put a target on Henry's back?_

"What do you-" Emma tried to pull away but Killian held her tight, turning his lips to her ear again, "I can't explain, it's too dangerous."

"Killian you don't get to just-"

"Emma," his voice dropped still lower and he glanced warily over her shoulder. "Do you trust me?" He pulled away when he felt her nod. "Poker face, love. Keep your guard up, all right?"

Her face became a mask as she left the hospital and he sagged in relief. The witch hadn't come crashing through a window... maybe she was exaggerating about her spy network after all. Then again he hadn't really told Emma anything. And Zelena probably thought it was just a matter of time before a moment of weakness gave her what she wanted. Killian bit his lip to stop the smile from growing there. Maybe it was best if Zelena had seen that little display. It might convince her that he was closer to cracking than he really was.

* * *

He returned to Neal's room where he joined Ruby, leaning against the wall outside the door. He could hear Neal and Henry talking about potential mission names for the hunt for Zelena inside the room. _Operation saturation_ his mind replied but he kept the suggestion to himself. His eyes kept flicking to the doors and windows as if expecting an attack at any moment. He was so distracted monitoring the exits that he nearly jumped when Neal came out the door behind him a few minutes later.

"Where are you going?"

"I forgot my hall pass in my locker," he said.

Killian shifted without thinking to block his path. "Maybe you'd better stay here mate, until the good doctor clears you?"

Neal raised his eyebrows. "Are you really going to stand in my way?"

"So it would seem."

"Zelena held my son's heart in her hand this morning, Killian." Neal snapped. "I have to do this. You know that. I need to find him. Get him to help before Zelena does anything to my family." Killian glanced between Ruby and Neal.

"Red why don't you help him find Emma. I'll keep an eye on the lad."

"Thanks, Killian," Neal responded.

Killian considered heading to Granny's but he already knew Zelena had overheard Emma there at the diner. So instead he took Henry to the hospital cafeteria and didn't even complain when Henry decided Pizza and french fries was a balanced diet. He hardly touched his own meal and didn't hear much of Henry's conversation until he heard his name.

"Killian?"

"Yes?" he responded distractedly.

"You know, I'm not an idiot. What's going on?"

"I just don't love being away from your mother while she is out courting danger."

"So lets go after her!"

Killian laughed. "It turns out I still like my remaining limbs too much for that plan. Your mother is doing her best to keep you out of danger."

"Just let me have your sword, then! I can handle it."

Killian smiled, "Perhaps you could, but she's your mother. Your parents are never going to stop trying to protect you. It's what parents do. The good ones anyway. And it's a cutlass. I leave swords to your grandfather. Come here," he led Henry away from the cafeteria and into a less populated hallway. Then he bent over and pulled a knife from his boot. "Here," Killian said, handing it to him. "That's probably illegal to carry though so let's not tell your mother."

"Cool," Henry said pulling it out of its sheath. "Do all pirates carry these?"

"No, but quite a few New Yorkers do... Anyway, it's not cool. It's useful, and it's dangerous, and did I mention probably illegal." He took it back from Henry, glancing around. "It's sharp on both sides unlike the cutlass which is more of a slashing weapon. Hold it like this... pointy end goes in the flying monkey then run like hell."

Henry nodded and Killian showed him how to clip it to his belt.

"Listen to me lad. I'm giving this to you because I believe you should be able to defend yourself if it comes to that. But if I ever tell you to run and you refuse... I swear I will hang you upside-down off the bow of my ship for as long as it takes for your mother to stop yelling at the both of us, understand?"

He nodded again.

"Come on, lets go gather up the stuff in Neal's room. Ruby will probably be back at the diner by now, we can ask her what your mother is up to."

They were nearly ready to leave when someone knocked at the door. It was only a nurse but when she entered Killian saw that she held a single red rose in her hand. His insides turned to ice. A rose... Zelena knew. She must know.

"Someone left this for you at the front desk, isn't that sweet?" The nurse said, moving to place it on the bedside table, but Hook blocked her way.

"Who left it?"

The nurse looked at him in confusion. "Not sure, I didn't see them," she said. She dropped off the flower hurriedly and shut the door behind her.

"Come on Henry, let's get out of here."

Killian's head was spinning. Could it have been innocent? Maybe it wasn't the warning he thought it was. Even so his eyes scanned the skies constantly waiting for the attack as they made their way to Granny's. When the they arrived at Granny's Killian took one look inside and froze. Sitting at their normal booth was another rose.

Killian grabbed Henry's shoulder as he was about to enter the diner and pulled him back. "It's not safe here, lad. Come on, we have to go."

"What? Where are we going?" he asked.

"On an adventure. Stay close and stay alert."

He took an odd route back towards the docks in the hopes that Zelena wouldn't notice their hasty departure. Finally they reached the docks and Killian stopped Henry short and pointed at black wings in the sky. "We don't want anything to do with them lad. Run for the Jolly, I'll be right behind you. If I fall behind I want you to barricade yourself into the hold until I get there, understand?"

Henry nodded, "What about-"

"Not now, Run."

Henry broke clear of the building and managed to get most of the way across the distance toward the gangplank before he heard a loud bang. Henry spun and saw that Killian had paused and was taking aim at the next closest creature.

"HENRY! I said RUN!"

There were two more shots before the gun jammed and Killian dropped it, sprinting towards Henry, cutlass drawn. It might have been enough time, if Henry hadn't tripped when a shoelace caught on the lip of the gangplank. He sprawled across the ground, the sound of wings terrifyingly close to his head. Yelling and more explosions of sound echoed around him before suddenly all fell quiet and a new voice broke through."

"Henry, Kid? You ok?"

"Mom?"

"Yeah kid, it's ok. You're ok."

"Don't be so sure, dear."

"Zelena!" Emma screamed, a rage Henry had never seen before lighting up her eyes. Charming and Mary Margaret were nearby too, they must have arrived with Emma, Henry thought as Charming pulled him aside and stepped between him and the witch.

"I will destroy you Zelena. No one touches my family and gets away with it!" Emma cried.

"Oh poor dear, I know this is a trying time for you, but you'll find things go so much easier if you just do as I ask. Wouldn't you agree, Captain?"

Emma's eyes flicked to Killian before her fevered glare landed on Zelena again. "You will pay for what you've done."

"I won't, actually. I have Regina's heart already. I would so love the matching set. Now that the Dark one is seeing clearly again I'll have the three most powerful magical beings in this land. I suppose I should thank you dear, do you have any idea the things I could do with that power? I'll be able to make everything right."

Emma cried out in frustration and a white pulse of energy filled the landscape. Zelena shrieked and when she looked up again, Killian smiled. Now there was fear in her eyes. "This isn't over," she said.

Emma nodded, "You're right."

Then Zelena was gone and Emma collapsed, rage and pain alternating on her features. Charming knelt next to her and put an arm over her shoulder. "It's going to be ok, Emma."

Killian furrowed his eyebrows. She won. The witch retreated. This was a moment of tactical advantage. Emma just proved that her light magic could harm Zelena. So why did Emma look so... broken?" Killian advanced, kneeling next to her. "Emma?"

Emma ignored him, turning to her father. "Get Henry back to the loft please and don't... I'll be there soon ok?"

Charming nodded and the three of them hurried off, watching the sky warily.

Finally Emma looked at Killian. Her eyes were rimmed with red and her fingers were trembling. Fear? Pain? Exhaustion? She was uninjured as far as he could tell. She simply looked shocked.

"What was she talking about? Zelena asked if you would agree that it's easier to do as she asked? Why would she ask you that... What were you doing here. Were you helping her?"

Killian's eyes widened. "By shooting her monkeys and trying to get your lad to safety?"

"Safety!? Out here? I can't lose him too, and you dragged him out here right to where she wanted him."

"Emma, I wouldn't- She was coming after him, we ran. I thought if I could get him out of the town-"

"You were going to leave Storybrooke!?"

"I'd no choice. She's already attacked the boy so I guess there's no reason not to tell you now-"

"Tell me what?"

"When those monkeys attacked me, they carried with them a curse. She cursed my lips to take away your magic. She told me if I didn't take away your powers she would harm the boy."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I tried... but I feared I'd put Henry in danger."

"He is my son, Killian. You don't get to decide how to best protect him."

"I was just trying to help, Swan."

"Well it didn't work. Why the hell did you let Neal leave that hospital? Did you know?"

"I'm not a babysitter, Swan, certainly not for Baelfire. He wanted to help find his father. Protect his son, who am I to tell him he can't-"

"Neal's dead."

Killian rocked back on his heels, stunned into silence. Finally he found his voice. "How?"

"Zelena. Neal and I were looking for Gold and Zelena showed up...told us that they were ... stuck together. It was making Gold crazy. I saw him change."

"Change?" Killian could hear every word but it was like Emma was speaking another language.

"After Zelena left, Neal told me I had to try to separate them so Gold could help us." Her facade cracked and tears slipped down her cheek. "I told him it was too risky but he insisted that we needed Gold. I separated them. God, Killian, how am I going to tell Henry?"

"Is there any chance he-" Emma shook her head before he could finish the question. "Emma, we can't stay here. She could come back."

"And when she comes I'll destroy her." Emma made no move to rise and even when Killian pulled gently on her arm she just shrugged him off.

"Emma-"

"Don't tell me what I have to do, Jones. I lost Neal, I killed him. And then when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse I get back into town and you are trying to sail my son back to New York."

"Emma-" He reached out to her again but she pulled away. She clenched her hands to hide their trembling but he could still see it in her shoulders. Unfortunately he could also see wings on the horizon. "Emma, get up! Henry needs you right now. I know you just want to wait here until the witch returns and tear her into pieces. God, I know, but you can't."

Emma finally stood and took a deep breath. "You should have told me, I thought I could trust you." Then she was running back into town. He should follow. Make sure she was all right, but of course she wasn't alright. Baelfire was dead, her son was under attack and the man she thought she could trust was a lying scoundrel. Of course she wasn't all right. The monkeys were getting closer and he smiled a grim smile; pulling out his cutlass as they drew closer. They weren't Zelena... but they might just make him feel better regardless.

* * *

**I missed Ruby. :) **

******Lol, this Killian would probably not be able to bring Emma a single rose on their date. That particular flower seems a bit soured in his mind.**


	19. Chapter 19

**I have absolutely no words after that episode. Thank goodness I wrote these 4000 before that episode...**

**Recap:**

"Don't tell me what I have to do, Jones. I lost Neal. I killed him. And then when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse I get back into town and you are trying to sail my son back to New York."

"Emma-" He reached out to her again but she pulled away. She clenched her hands to hide their trembling but he could still see it in her shoulders. Unfortunately he could also see wings on the horizon. "Emma, get up! Henry needs you right now. I know you just want to wait here until the witch returns and tear her into pieces. God, I know, but you can't."

Emma finally stood and took a deep breath. "You should have told me, I thought I could trust you." Then she was running back into town. He should follow. Make sure she was all right, but of course she wasn't all right. Baelfire was dead; her son was under attack and the man she thought she could trust was a lying scoundrel. Of course she wasn't all right. The monkeys were getting closer and he smiled a grim smile; pulling out his cutlass as they drew closer. They weren't Zelena... but they might just make him feel better regardless.

* * *

Her parents kept hugging her and she kept hugging Henry. Must be a parent thing... but it didn't make it better. Not really. Henry went to sleep early, exhausted by his own tears. She went into her room to escape the pitying looks of her parents, but sleep was out of the question, apparently. It was nearly 3 in the morning before Emma finally gave up.

Find Tallahassee, he'd told her. But she'd already been to Tallahassee. She waited for him there.

He didn't come back for her.

It was ridiculous to be walking the streets alone at this hour. She could hear the cry of the monkeys not far away and she half expected Zelena to show up at any moment. It would have been a relief, something to take her mind off it. Something to keep her from continually wondering why she did it. Why did she pull them apart? Because Neal told her to. Because Zelena manipulated them; to get Gold back? She shuddered. Lot of good that had done. Gold was back, and still entirely under Zelena's control. And Neal was gone. For good this time. There was no coming back from this one.

Neal was gone.

Just like Graham, she'd held him as the life left him, her tears coming too late, as always. Emma Swan the savior. The tone of disgust was clear to her even inside her own mind. The savior who can't save anyone.

By 4AM she was shivering as she walked... So she jogged, then she ran. She couldn't go back. Had to keep moving, keep running. Until what? Until she found Zelena. _Or Zelena found her?_ She wanted to wake Henry up, climb in the bug and just drive until the witch couldn't find them. But her parents... they'd never leave Storybrooke unprotected. (_Protected, _her mind scoffed again.) And Killian?

Killian who had made her feel wanted when she had no one. Just an empty apartment with too few decorations and too much work brought home to fill the empty spaces. Killian filled the emptiness. He made her apartment feel like home... Anger flared up again. She trusted him. And he tried to take Henry away, could have gotten him killed (_could have gotten himself killed.)_

_What would you have done, _a voice whispered, _if you knew Zelena was coming... wouldn't you have run? It's what you've done your whole life anyway. Still, it wasn't his son, wasn't his choice._

In a few minutes the smell of salt was in the air again and she could see the Jolly Roger in the distance. She wasn't entirely certain why she was here. One moment she wanted to yell and scream at him the next she just wanted to melt into his arms and let him make her feel safe. The deck was empty and as she climbed the gangplank, she considered the idea that he might not be here. Might not even want to see her if he was here. _What time is it anyway? _She'd texted him earlier, asking him something noncommittal about whether those monkeys were still on their way into town or not, but she'd never received a response.

She could see dim light from the cabin below though and she carefully lifted the hatch. The cabin looked empty but it wasn't completely dark a single oil lamp flickered dimly on what was probably his desk. Maybe he stayed at Granny's? She slipped down the ladder but before she got half way down someone grasped her firmly by her legs and tugged her down the ladder. Before she could regain her balance she was thrown against the wall, the chill of cold steel at her throat.

"Bloody hell witch, why don't you just leave me alone!" a voice slurred. She didn't think she had ever heard him slurring his words before...

"Killian?"

"Emma? Oh God, Emma?" The press of metal disappeared instantly and Killian jumped away from her as though he'd been burned. Unfortunately, this resulted in him stumbling over a knocked over chair and he hit the floor with a thud. The room smelled of rum again. It reminded her of when she met him. Not in the Enchanted Forest, though. In New York. She remembered the smell of rum the sparkle of broken glass and a mischievous smirk in his eyes as he sized her up.

"Expecting someone else?" Emma asked, picking her way over to the lamp to turn up the wick. The flame's light filled the room and Emma pressed her lips together to smother a gasp of surprise. The place was wrecked and a mostly empty bottle of rum reflected the light in dancing patterns around the room.

Killian pulled himself up, knocking the chair violently away. It crashed into the wall and Emma winced.

"Killian? Are you-"

"Bloody fantastic, love. Why wouldn't I be?" He snatched up the bottle from the table and swung it wildly as he spoke. "The Dark One lost the thing he loved most in all the worlds, tonight. It's a perfect night to be Captain bloody Hook."

"You're drunk."

"Indeed I am. Care to join me in oblivion? A toast to Baelfire!" his jaw tightened and she bit her lip. New York was nothing compared to this.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Baelfire never approved of my drinking either," he muttered, "claimed I'd never be able to find a way home without a clear head. Course, he never knew that I wasn't yet ready to find a way home."

"He wanted to go back to the Enchanted Forest?"

"To the Darling's. To the family he always wanted."

Emma fumbled with her Swan charm around her neck briefly, thinking of a family that had once been hers. But she'd only taken their name, in the end.

"Did they take him back? The darling's?"

"By the time he escaped, Wendy's parents must have been long gone."

"It doesn't seem real, Killian-" she gently touched his arm and he sagged, the bottle dropping with a light clink onto the table. "He died in my arms, why doesn't it seem real?"

"Defense mechanism," he muttered, "doesn't work."

"I couldn't sleep... I texted you-"

"Ah. As it turns out, I may have," he scratched behind his ear nervously "inadvertently acourse... thrown my cell phone ...I think it's somewhere in the boathouse...or you know... the sea."

Emma's jaw dropped, "What? Why?"

He laughed bitterly. "Hook was a right bastard, but he would have done something. He would have buried his hook in that witch's neck. I nearly destroyed the Dark One. You 'member, Swan? Wouldn't have even needed dreamshade for Zelena. She's got a kidney, I've got a cutlass-"

"Killian-"

He laughed again. "And what the bloody hell did Killian do to help? He couldn't even keep his mouth shut. I thought the rose was for Henry... it wasn't..." He was pacing now, back and forth and back and forth and Emma wasn't entirely certain he quite realized she was there. "It was for Bae, I should have known."

"You couldn't-"

"I should have."

Guilt burned a hole in Emma's stomach. She had come here to nurse her own anger, her own guilt. To wallow in self-pity and maybe yell at Killian until she felt better. Because he let Neal leave, he tried to take her son; he kept the curse a secret... It never even occurred to her that he might be in just as much pain as she.

She wrapped an arm around him and he leaned into her instinctively.

"Damn it, Emma. What are you doing here? Yell at me! Call me a bloody useless pirate. Tell me I'm no good to anyone, but don't do this ... don't pretend it's ok. I went looking for Baelfire and I found the Dark One, I should have figured it out. -"

"This isn't your fault," Emma murmured. "I'm the one that did it, I ripped them apart. I killed him."

The tremble in her voice sobered Killian faster than a bucket of ice water and he immediately pulled her in, hugging her until her shoulders stopped shaking. "It's not your fault, love. It's hers. It's Zelena's. But we won't let her win."

She dropped her head onto his shoulder but after a moment he stood, taking her hand and leading her towards the ladder.

"Killian where are you going?"

'Topside, give me a moment."

Once they reached the deck she realized that without the warmth from her jog it was chilly. The cool air seemed to help Killian focus and he shook his head, slipping out of his jacket and draping it over her shoulders. Suddenly, without any warning, he made for the edge of the ship and dove into the chilly water.

"Killian!" Emma cried. _Just how drunk are you, Jones, _she thought, running for the edge of the ship. By the time she reached the edge he was already climbing back aboard shaking his head vigorously sending water droplets flying everywhere.

"Are you insane? What the hell was that Killian?"

"I've... overindulged slightly... and kissing you was starting to seem like an irresistible idea."

"You should go below, Killian. You'll freeze."

"Aye, but in the meantime my mind will be marginally clearer."

Emma shook her head, resisting the impulse to brush away the wet strands of hair that stuck to his forehead. To say nothing of the sea water clinging to his face ... his lips. Her eyes linger there and a hint of a smirk appears. "Why?" she asks softly, "why curse you? Why even try to take my magic at all? My grand magical accomplishment since I got back to Storybrooke was getting myself a coffee!"

"This time last week you had no magic and you're already showing exceptional control over it when you need to defend yourself."

"She said she wanted the three most powerful wielders of magic in Storybrooke. She's got Gold. And she's got Regina's heart. What does she even need me for?"

"It must be big if they're not enough." Killian chuckled, "Apologies, love but I'm not sure I'm in a fit state for trading theories with you. I learned long ago not to write tipsy... I suspect trying to deduce a witch's motives requires a similar presence of mind.

She sighed, "I'm not going to wait to find out. Remember that house we found in the woods?"

"Yes," his smile faded as he watched her intensely.

"No more theories. No more waiting. I waited too long and it cost Neal his life. I'm going back on my own. Tomorrow."

"Not alone you're not. I'm coming with you. You need someone to watch your back."

"And what are you going to do against magic? Killian someone has to watch Henry. If something happens to me, someone has to be able to protect him. I think you were right. Maybe you should take him back to New York."

"I can't do that."

"Really? Now you can't do that!"

"I panicked, love. I ran because I thought it was the only way to keep him alive. You know now. Your family knows now."

"I can't have anyone else in danger."

"Aye; that I understand better than anyone. Emma, I outlived my elder brother, and my first love. Now, I've even outlived her son. God, Emma, I'm so tired. So bloody tired." He shook his head, "I won't leave you to face her alone. I can't do that. Not when I've any other choice."

"Why," Emma snapped.

"You know why!" he shot back. He was trembling, the cold water and the wind starting to take their toll, but he seemed not to notice through the fire sparking in his eyes. "You know why. Emma, I can't lose you."

"Killian, you've been drinking. You should get below-"

"Aye, and I suppose I was drunk when I came back with that magic bean and gave up my revenge the first time. And when you kissed me in Neverland? How about when I stayed up all night because you called me from the trauma ward and I was scared to death. We shared..." he rubbed his forehead with his hand. "How many more times must I fall in love with you before you believe it's real?"

"I can't do this tonight, Killian. What is it you want me to say?"

"That I'm coming with you."

Emma finally nodded, "Come on Killian," she pleaded, pulling him back towards his cabin. She practically pushed him down the stairs calling "change into something dry," after him.

She pulled the hatch closed behind her stubbornly facing the wall when she got to the bottom of the ladder. "Come on, Emma. Given that I'm so very drunk, perhaps some assistance?"

"Killian Jones, I am starting to think you're not as drunk as I originally supposed. Just remember, this Emma Swan concealed carries."

Killian just hummed his approval, but shuffling behind her indicated he was doing as she had asked.

After a few minutes in which she absolutely did not want to turn around and press him against the wall of his cabin, she heard him pick up the overturned chair and she turned around.

"Killian, can I ask you a question," Emma asked quietly.

Killian just nodded. She wanted to ask if it ever got easier. After a decade. Two? After a century? How long did it take for you to not wonder if you'd just been a little faster if you could have saved them? Just a little smarter... She couldn't seem to get the words to come.

Killian leaned back in his chair contemplating her for a moment, waiting for the question she'd wanted to ask but instead she just stood. I should get back."

Emma offered him his jacket back but he shook his head and she shrugged it over her shoulders.

"Tell me a story, Killian?" Emma asked as Killian closed the hatch behind them. "Take me somewhere else?"

They walked in silence for a few minutes before finally Killian chuckled. "Once upon a time- don't look at me like that it's late and I'm likely still intoxicated. Once upon a time there was a brave young seaman. A captain, in fact, if you would believe it." A smile crept onto Emma's face as she listened. "This young captain had been in many ports and sailed many seas. His quarters were filled with maps in unfamiliar languages pasted together in a patchwork of coastline detailing the perimeter of his known world. What he was looking for wasn't on any map. In fact, no matter how many ports the sailor visited, no matter how many maps he accumulated, one area never appeared on any of his charts. Finally he reached a port within only a few days sail from this uncharted region, and even so no one seemed to know what lay there. They only told him that it was most certainly bad luck to sail those waters. Naturally, our Captain found this quite unacceptable and determined he would search out this unknown sea."

"What was he looking for?" Emma interrupted.

"What do all men seek? Happiness? Adventure? A bit of coin and perhaps a pretty lass to spend it on?" Killian grinned. "He gathered his crew, which had dispersed on various survey missions in port, mostly involving the study of cultural gathering places along the shore."

"Pubs, you mean."

"Isn't that what I said? Anyway, once he had gathered his crew they made sail, following a map to a land no one knew. Days passed with no sight of land. On the third day, just as the were entering the uncharted waters... the first man vanished."

"Vanished?"

"Indeed. On watch one minute and when his mate came to relieve him he was gone."

"So he got plastered and fell overboard," Emma suggested with a laugh.

"So determined our dashing Captain. It does happen from time to time that the call of the sea becomes... too strong... Regardless the rations of rum were cut in half, (much to the crew's dismay) and the captain thought he'd done with the problem. At least until the next night when the second man vanished."

"Clearly this Captain of yours runs quite the tight ship."

"Well, when the second man vanished the captain began having his men stand watch in shifts, two per watch. The next night a third man vanished, but this time they had a witness. According to the sailor the only thing in the water around the ship was a pod of seals. The lost crewman was watching the seals one moment and the next there was a splash and the crewman was gone."

"And his buddy didn't even try to fish him out?" Emma asked.

"Oh they did. They searched for hours with no sign of the sailor. Just the seals and the sea."

"Aren't old fishing stories supposed to have kraken's or something... seals are kind of... cute. Don't make a very intimidating foe."

"Would you like to tell the story, Emma?" Killian asked with a huff.

Emma stuck her tongue out at Killian and he continued. "Well the ship was nearing dire straights, for if they lost many more men they would be unable to guide their vessel safely through the journey still to come. The crew began to grumble that they should return to port, but our captain had spent long hours reviewing the maps of this region and he knew they were nearing the middle of the uncharted area. And so he continued onward. That night however he was restless, unable to sleep knowing that he might wake to find one more crewmember gone. So before the ending of the second watch he climbed back onto the deck of his ship.

All was well with the stern post so he made his way to the bow. To his surprise, the captain discovered a sailor he'd never met before standing watch in place of his man! He drew his cutlass and demanded to know who this unknown sailor was, and what he knew about his missing men. Instead of responding, however the man dove for the deck reaching for... not a sword but a cloak. In a split second the man covered himself in his cloak and dove into the water, transforming as he fell into the form of a grey seal. The captain was dumbstruck for a moment. These creatures were supposed to be legend! Every port town had their stories of men who came into port, engaged in brief dalliances with the local lassies and then disappeared into the sea to take up their seal form again. Until now the captain had always assumed the return to the sea was an overly literal interpretation of the reality of such dalliances.

The captain roused the crew to the alarm and within moments he'd turned their ship into a fishing vessel. Their nets extended from every side and it wasn't long before a loud cry of victory rang from the port quarter as the men pulled a seal from the sea. The captain approached the creature with blade leveled.

He suggested that the selkie reveal himself unless he'd a desire to have his coat shred to pieces. To the crew's surprise the creature lifted its arms and peeled back the seal skin to reveal a man's face."

"The same man?"

"Does it matter, love, the seal just turned into a man, couldn't you pretend to be astonished?"

"Your minor character development needs work," Emma teased.

"Fine, lass. The man's name was Callaghan. He was a fisherman with two sons. They were lost in a ship wreck and when the selkie offered him a place in the sea, he took it."

"The selkie?"

"Seal-men, do keep up lass," he teased, opening the door for her. Emma stepped inside out of the chill, lowering her voice as they climbed the stairs towards her parents' apartment.

"Ok, ok, so the seal men offered to turn Callaghan into a selkie?"

"Indeed. He'd nothing left for him in this world, and the sea had always been his home," Killian smiled wistfully. "Backstory aside, the captain was not particularly pleased that these selkies were expanding their group at the expense of his crew. He ripped away the man's cloak and hid it in his cabin."

"Because seal fur was in vogue back then?"

"Perhaps not, but collateral was. The captain guarded that cloak until they reached the end of the Selkies territory with the promise that if any more crewman disappeared from his ship, the fur would burn and the Selkie would be forced to live on land the rest of his days."

"And they all lived happily ever after," Emma supplied as they stopped outside Mary Margaret's apartment.

Killian smiled, "Eventually."

"Thank you."

"For what?" Killian asked.

"For the distraction, for ... everything..."

"My pleasure."

"I still wish you would reconsider, but I do understand why you don't want to publish."

"I don't want their pity, Swan."

"So tell a different story."

"I don't have a different story."

Emma raised her eyebrows and kissed him on the cheek, "You _are_ a different story."

* * *

**Just a side note on something that occurred to me while tumblr stalking onceuponamirror :P. Someone was asking about why FF generally assumes the Enchanted Forest to be polytheistic. It occurred to me that I am rather going against the FF grain in writing it the other way. (Particularly Killian) Any of you that have read my stuff for the Beka Cooper world know that it is a conscious choice I've made to not write these characters as polytheistic leaning.**

**In the end there are lots of OUAT characters that use the singular God in the show and only 2 examples that I could find of the plural. (Maurice once and Rumple once - I've a more extensive explanation on tumblr if you're curious- find me gusenitsagirl - I'd love to talk to you all there!)**

**Anyway, in the end I decided that was a mostly FF driven head canon and unless something in canon tells me otherwise I'm going to continue to go against the grain on that one.**

**Just a little ramble on how I think about these kinds of things... that some of you may have been curious about (or not- yes...I overthink things :P)**


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